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You don't say how long you've been divorced, nor do you really define 'picky'.
I've been divorced 10 years, and heck, yeah, I'm picky, and not apologizing to anyone for that.
I've tried to be more patient, more open minded, more accepting, look outside my 'type', whatever, and what I find is that the harder I have to work to accept a guy for who he is, the more likely I am to forget him in his absence. As in, I just can't get him to stick in my mind. As in If he didn't call for a few weeks, I might not notice. I don't think that's me being picky. It's just me not being into him.
That said, in 10 years not one guy has come even CLOSE.
When you realize you're one cat away from being on that show Hoarders.
Ooooh no, not me, I can fit many more kitties in here, than just one giant ass, and I know where they all are--the hazmats won't find any of mine flattened under the hallway runner.
BTDT. After 11+ years with a 5.5-6 I was determined to pull 7-8+. That quickly changed as I noticed the 7+ guys I was pulling were f__kboys, jerks, etc. Not at all worth it.
I'm still attracted to what I'm attracted to, but I've taken a break from dating. My very good friend (with major benefits, but we are still very close without the benefits) is a 9 in my eyes and treats me very well.
I kind of understand this. I'm also divorced. I rate myself a solid 7. I think my personality (being a shy introvert) drags me down to that number, or maybe lower. Of course its all subjective and I'm a 5 in some peoples eyes and maybe a 9 (though its not apparent to me) in others. My ex-wife was probably a 7 as well (though because she was an extrovert, probably viewed higher than that by others), but I want the 9. I wish I was this alpha male a-hole that women seem to want, but I'm just not. I'm too nice (not in a take sh*t kind of way) and not assertive enough. Maybe its actually the lack of assertiveness. I'll probably never know. The point is, I also like what I like and have had it before, so I don't see it as a stretch. Others accuse me of being way too picky. If I were in Dallas, Atlanta, or New York City, I could find many women I'd want to date who likely wouldn't give me the time of day for whatever reason. Where I live currently, not so much, and therefore I get labeled as too picky in a city where everyone desirable is married. Its a problem I hope to solve in 2017. However, I'd rather be single than settle too much on what I'm attracted to.
Ooooh no, not me, I can fit many more kitties in here, than just one giant ass, and I know where they all are--the hazmats won't find any of mine flattened under the hallway runner.
I kind of understand this. I'm also divorced. I rate myself a solid 7. I think my personality (being a shy introvert) drags me down to that number, or maybe lower. Of course its all subjective and I'm a 5 in some peoples eyes and maybe a 9 (though its not apparent to me) in others. My ex-wife was probably a 7 as well, but I want the 9. I wish I was this alpha male a-hole that women seem to want, but I'm just not. I'm too nice (not in a take sh*t kind of way) and not assertive enough. Maybe its actually the lack of assertiveness. I'll probably never know. The point is, I also like what I like and have had it before, so I don't see it as a stretch. Other accuse me of being way too picky. If I were in Dallas, Atlanta, or New York City, I could find many women I'd want to date who likely wouldn't give me the time of day for whatever reason. Where I live currently, not so much, and therefore I get labeled as too picky in a city where everyone desirable is married. Its a problem I hope to solve in 2017. However, I'd rather be single than settle too much on what I'm attracted to.
Good post thank you for the insight
To be honest mate I'm perhaps too nice at times and don't SCREAM alpha ( maybe in some areas but not dating as such if that makes sense? ) and MOST DEFINITELY not more than a 6/7 in looks at present LMAO! ( but an easy 8 at least when in shape ) but usually only go for 8-10s and more often than not I'll get them.
But that's only because my other traits ( personality, SOH, charm, charisma, confidence etc ) on my day can make me 10 to some ..... I know we've talked about our different personalities but it can still be done with the right amount of optimism
But agreed in not settling and I'm the same as I believe it's unfair to feel I could do better and possibly hold some resentment towards my SO and especially when she's done nothing wrong
But I've had an god awful end to 2016 not in dating as such but in life so not really had the same interest or conviction as I usually have but I'm getting back to my best gradually so I'll drink to a happy 2017 for sure
To be honest mate I'm perhaps too nice at times and don't SCREAM alpha ( maybe in some areas but not dating as such if that makes sense? ) and MOST DEFINITELY not more than a 6/7 in looks at present LMAO! ( but an easy 8 at least when in shape ) but usually only go for 8-10s and more often than not I'll get them.
But that's only because my other traits ( personality, SOH, charm, charisma, confidence etc ) on my day can make me 10 to some ..... I know we've talked about our different personalities but it can still be done with the right amount of optimism
But agreed in not settling and I'm the same as I believe it's unfair to feel I could do better and possibly hold some resentment towards my SO and especially when she's done nothing wrong
But I've had an god awful end to 2016 not in dating as such but in life so not really had the same interest or conviction as I usually have but I'm getting back to my best gradually so I'll drink to a happy 2017 for sure
Thanks. I do know that typically in a woman's eyes its more about personality than looks. Thats a major weakness for me. Some of my new friends may not agree with that because I've worked hard to be more outgoing (what everyone seems to want in the U.S.) and positive. But I'm still not very assertive or confident (another key with women) enough. That said, I am sort of dating a couple of attractive women (ie: my type), so its going better. However, I over analyze every single thing and usually take innocent comments (via texts) negatively. Not sure why I do this. I continue to pursue them, so I'm working through it, but dating is soooo stressful for me. I just can't relax enough, which makes them uncomfortable on dates, and I'm accused of being "hard to read". It just takes time to get to know me, time which women don't care to invest these days. Anyway, despite my divorce, I do still want to be married, just to the right woman of course. I really long for that. I mean after all, humans weren't created to go through life alone, and I feel very alone.
Sorry your year is ending badly. I'll make a toast to both of us on my NYE cruise for a happy 2017.
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