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I don't think she's reading too much into things. I'm very similar when I'm into someone sexually, but I'm not into them emotionally. I'm affectionate and all of that in the bedroom as well, but when we're not in the bedroom, I'm back into my standoffish routine. I would even bet he's doing that to create a clear boundary with himself. He's probably someone who's been hurt in the past (overly romantic), but still likes to have sex (like most people), but can separate his emotions from it, if he keeps his emotions in the bedroom.
It's not that he doesn't enjoy your company, he just doesn't see this going further than what brought you two together this long, the bedroom. You take the bedroom equation away and he'll likely slowly fade away as well.
Some people aren't crazy in love on day one already. They want to take things slower.
Of course he is going to fade away if she suddenly stops sleeping with him. Every normal person would!
OP seems to want a guy who sweeps her off her feet. He is not that kind of guy. Maybe never, maybe some day once he has fallen more for her. He is on a slower, but not necessarily insincere path.
Maybe OP is used to the passionate hot lover who needs to text her several times per day. He is not that kind of person (yet).
I said I think it is true. I dont know. I might be too anxious... I promise I will give this a chance. I wont overthink anything.... I've already had failed relationships due to anxiety. I will give this a chance. And if it doesnt work out, it is ok, at least I am learning how to relax.
The first thing I hear from you that I fully agree on.
OP - if this is all you're looking for - have fun.
But the fact that you're spending so much time trying to figure him out screams that you're looking for more.
Move on and find someone who's looking for the same thing you are.
The bold statement is EXACTLY what I'm thinking. She wants more with that person, which is why she's not accepting of how the situation isn't flowing the way she anticipated. It's fine to want casual, but if you know that you want more, don't be hanging around hoping that he or she will change their minds. Cut bait and go after what you truly desire.
Didn't read the whole thread, but why does HE always need to contact you and set up the date? Personally I wouldn't date a girl that expects me to do everything while you just sit there and say "yes" or "no."
That's just being lazy on your part. So yea girls that put no effort in are only good for sex in my opinion.
The bold statement is EXACTLY what I'm thinking. She wants more with that person, which is why she's not accepting of how the situation isn't flowing the way she anticipated. It's fine to want casual, but if you know that you want more, don't be hanging around hoping that he or she will change their minds. Cut bait and go after what you truly desire.
I thought I was clear. I AM looking for more, but of course I am not looking for a serious relationship with him after two weeks. However, if he knows he doesnt want long term with me for sure, I wpuld like to know that. I asked him about it and I confirmed I am looking for more (otherwise, I wouldnt bother bringing up the question).
He said he was looking for something more meaningful, and then asked to see me again (after I ended things).
So, now I am getting different opinions about his intentions here (which is good and no one can know that but he himself).
I said I think it is true. I dont know. I might be too anxious... I promise I will give this a chance. I wont overthink anything.... I've already had failed relationships due to anxiety. I will give this a chance. And if it doesnt work out, it is ok, at least I am learning how to relax.
Oh, good grief! OP, my motto: "When all else fails, communicate!" When conjecture, consulting strangers, overthinking, hinting, guessing games, fading out, fading back in, holding back to see what he'll do, and more guessing FAIL, for heaven's sake, JUST. ASK. THE MAN! Discuss it w/him.
OP, he asked you for a second chance. Naturally, you assumed that must mean he was somewhat serious. But he's not quite behaving relationship-y. \\
So you can ask him: what was the second chance for? A second chance for a FWB? A second chance to see if sparks might happen, and a LTR develop? What was he asking for when he asked for another chance? It's a fair question, and not one that backs him into a corner. It's not exactly a "Where is this going" question, but it elicits the same info that that question would.
OP, he asked you for a second chance. Naturally, you assumed that must mean he was somewhat serious. But he's not quite behaving relationship-y. \\
So you can ask him: what was the second chance for? A second chance for a FWB? A second chance to see if sparks might happen, and a LTR develop? What was he asking for when he asked for another chance? It's a fair question, and not one that backs him into a corner. It's not exactly a "Where is this going" question, but it elicits the same info that that question would.
My assumption: Since he said he doesnt want anything casual but meaningful instead and wants to see how things between us develop, he is asking for a second chance to keep seeing me and prove he can be better when it comes to communication. I am actually going to post our conversations here.
My assumption: Since he said he doesnt want anything casual but meaningful instead and wants to see how things between us develop, he is asking for a second chance to keep seeing me and prove he can be better when it comes to communication. I am actually going to post our conversations here.
That makes a lot of sense. You got it!!
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OP, my motto: "When all else fails, communicate!" When conjecture, consulting strangers, overthinking, hinting, guessing games, fading out, fading back in, holding back to see what he'll do, and more guessing FAIL, for heaven's sake, JUST. ASK. THE MAN! Discuss it w/him.
