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I'm attracted to intelligent men. Men with good common senses and know how to navigate most life situations. Higher degree can show that a man is persistent and goal-oriented which is a positive thing, but if he lacks common senses or can't deal with the curve balls that life throws at him, then he's not for me. I've been in better relationship with a man with lower degree than the rest of the men I met.
I feel the same. I have dated man with PhD degree and two men with masters. I never had the feeling of marriage or move forward. But for my bf I have the feeling that I want to settle down with him.
It depends. Is one of you more intellectual then the other, meaning--having and pursuing intellectual interests? For example, if you both go to a museum (are you into museums?), does one of you immerse him/herself more deeply in the displays and background info, while the other just skims through? Or do you both delight in at least some of the same types of pastimes? What interests do you share? How are his problem-solving skills compared to yours? (This comes up a lot in day-to-day life.) How similar you are with things like this can be an indication of longer-term compatibility.
For example, does one of you like to discuss the news, current events and politics, while the other finds that to be dry and dull? Being with someone who's caring and funny is great, but over years, it might not be enough. Though it sounds like you're off to a good start. I wouldn't write him off just because he only has a 2-yr. degree.
How confident would you be that a paring like that would make a successful marriage?
I guess you are trying to remind me to consider if we have common area to share with. We both are not "museum" person..haha. The best thing is to discover new world/skill/food/things... with my bf. We both are full of curiosity. With him I could be myself.
I guess you are trying to remind me to consider if we have common area to share with. We both are not "museum" person..haha. The best thing is to discover new world/skill/food/things... with my bf. We both are full of curiosity. With him I could be myself.
This is much more important than your mother's views on education.
I have my master degree and my bf is only "associate" degree. I think he is the best one who I have ever meet. He is hilarious, make me laugh, considerate and generous. Although he made less money than me, I don't see it's a problem.
However, my Mom thought he is not "well educated" because he doesn't have high education degree.
I just want to ask you, my friends, based on your experience, DOES THE education/degree matter in marriage/relationship?
First of all, don't listen to your mother. (And out of interest, how "well educated" is your mother? ).
Having said that, personally, I prefer someone who's got some sort of intelligence. I couldn't put up with dull and boring conversations with someone.
I just want to ask you, my friends, based on your experience, DOES THE education/degree matter in marriage/relationship?
It most certainly does matter in a marriage.
I find it to be the lover/provider paradox.
Women don't care a hoot for what I'm doing at first. And then, when they want it to get more serious they always start nagging me about working part-time.
Men that don't think status matters in a long-term relationship are living in cloud cuckoo land.
There is a very real lover/provider paradox in women's thinking. And, to be fair, I'm only currrently interested in being a lover.
Way that I see it as women see things in terms of priority:
1. Lover
2, Provider
3, Friend
And I currently have no need for anything but the top.
I prefer a shared educational background and love of learning and intellectual pursuits. That could mean no college, some college or degree or two or three. I've dated highly educated, intelligent and intellectually-minded men who don't possess a four year degree. My husband dropped out of the engineering program he was in and eventually got his associates, after switching majors a few times, in liberal arts. (If he were inclined to go back to school he'd pursue history or film studies. If martial arts was a common major he'd totally pursue it). He's pretty brilliant, a voracious reader, lover of history, literature, philosophy, psychology, the sciences, etc., through mostly autodidactic study.
The ex before him also has an associates, and I've dated men who never attended college and pursued independent studies in their given field or interest. I think this is pretty admirable, and have tended to connect best with others who share a similar passion for learning and intellectual pursuits.
We need to share an intellectual connection and educational background (breadth and depth and well-rounded study, formal or otherwise). This is a must-have.
I have my master degree and my bf is only "associate" degree. I think he is the best one who I have ever meet. He is hilarious, make me laugh, considerate and generous. Although he made less money than me, I don't see it's a problem.
However, my Mom thought he is not "well educated" because he doesn't have high education degree.
I just want to ask you, my friends, based on your experience, DOES THE education/degree matter in marriage/relationship?
My father-in-law is worth 8 figures and has never taken a single college course. Results not typical as they say in weight-loss commercials, but it happens if the person has the right attributes.
Formal education is not the measure of a person. Do his values match yours? Does he have goals? Enough ambition and realistic plan to meet them? Are you satisfied with where he is and where he wants to go in life? Are you satisfied with his level of intellectual curiosity and self-fulfillment?
A college degree can help with all of these things, but if he can get where he wants to go and be who he wants to be without one and you're satisfied with his direction and motivation, who cares about the degree?
First, you need to define what 'educated' means. Is it a piece of paper or an informed and lively mind? I've seen Ph.Ds who were dull and unimaginative clods and I've seen brilliant people who never darkened the door of a university. In the business world, I've seen a host of MBAs whom I wouldn't trust to run a lemonade stand.
In a relationship, education only matters for two essential things: 1) The ability to intelligently perceive the world around oneself and react to it in interesting and positive ways; and 2) The ability to earn a living, chiefly because we live in a society that has invested a great deal (Perhaps too much) in credentialism. One is the product of one's own effort, both inside the classroom and out. The other is very much the product of accruing academic credits.
I think one of the object problems with our world today is that we place far too much on the degree itself and not enough on the mind of the person.
Let me put it differently. Who would you rather be with? A gifted musician or artist who never bothered with college who is succeeding on his or her own terms? Or a functionary in a gigantic corporation or bureaucracy who is bored with his or her life but won't do anything about it?
Instead, focus on the things that make this guy work. Do you ever get tired of talking to him? Does he pursue his passions? Is he kind? Is he considerate? Does he view your relationship as a partnership? Those things matter a great deal more than a diploma.
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