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He told me that he has a bf that is HIV positive and that they are mostly just friends now and non-sexual.
Next, he told me that another one of his friends that I met is HIV positive.
He says that he is negative. I told him I am just into being friends, no sex etc.
So is he just trying to c block his friends, or is this something I need to be super cautious about because when I hear about anybody having HIV I want to distance myself. But then again these could be lies etc.
No reason to distance yourself from those with HIV, just be careful. I'd recommend if you have any interest in this person that you ask for him to get tested. You too. Never hurts to be on the safe side
I'd wonder about his intentions. Someone's HIV positive status is something that shouldn't be thrown around in general conversation. He's clearly not their friend if they are indeed positive. I think that I would watch what I say around him, he is either extremely immature or really manipulative. Either way, I'd be careful around that one. Since he seems to be so comfortable talking about HIV, he shouldn't have a problem getting tested should you decide to become intimate.
However, in my opinion I'd really move slowly with this one.
I'm more worried about him making stuff up and telling random guys that I am HIV (when i am not of course).
oh ya, i agree but I would never get intimate with him. He is somewhat attractive for older man but not my type to date.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LovelyinLa
I'd wonder about his intentions. Someone's HIV positive status is something that shouldn't be thrown around in general conversation. He's clearly not their friend if they are indeed positive. I think that I would watch what I say around him, he is either extremely immature or really manipulative. Either way, I'd be careful around that one. Since he seems to be so comfortable talking about HIV, he shouldn't have a problem getting tested should you decide to become intimate.
However, in my opinion I'd really move slowly with this one.
Talk to people in the community about the "sex or not" question with HIV positive partners, and also have the "safe sex with HIV positive partners" conversation with people in the community until you are able to make a decision that feels comfortable for you.
Someone's HIV positive status is something that shouldn't be thrown around in general conversation.
I disagree with this statement, the gay men I've known are up front about the HIV status for the comfort level of all concerned. It's like if you have kids and are dating, the sooner you let someone know "I have kids" the sooner you get that potential deal-breaker out of the way for all concerned
or is this something I need to be super cautious about because when I hear about anybody having HIV I want to distance myself. But then again these could be lies etc.
Why do you want to distance yourself from someone with HIV? If this is someone that you don't have an interest in being intimate with, what's the problem?
I'll tell you, from what I've seen, if you do this with just "general people" (i.e. people you're not intimate with) the word does get around. Right, wrong, or whatever, you'll have to deal with the consequences of being the closed-minded guy in all of this.
I disagree with this statement, the gay men I've known are up front about the HIV status for the comfort level of all concerned. It's like if you have kids and are dating, the sooner you let someone know "I have kids" the sooner you get that potential deal-breaker out of the way for all concerned
That's cool if they themselves want to reveal that info but this isn't something that should come from a third party. I am in no way saying they should hide it but if I put myself in their shoes no matter how comfortable I've become with my diagnosis, I'd like to be the one to share that info. But to each his own...
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