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I am of child bearing age (can't have kids though), but I too rather be alone than with the wrong man. Been there, done that, got the hat and it's not worth it. Being alone is much, much better.
Pretty much. There are billions of people on this planet. If you can't find a mate, it's not due to lack of options. Or you have impossibly high standards/are too picky. That doesn't mean it's easy to find someone, far from it. It just means there are multiple matches out there for you and saying there are none is defeatist.
Edited to add, I think maybe what most people mean when they say "there is no one out there for me" is "I've given up spending the energy to find someone for me." People are loath to say they give up, so the pass blame. Not sure why. There is nothing wrong with putting energy into pursuits other than finding a mate.
I think we think it's not supposed to be a challenge. Not rationally, but I think many people feel like there's something wrong with them if they don't currently have someone or at least have some prospects. So as you say, they blame the pool of prospects or they claim the pool dried up.
On the billions of people, though, I'm not sure. Follow my math.
7 billion people
3.5 billion women (for a straight man)
500 million in my age range
100 million I find reasonably attractive
13 find me attractive (this seems to be a big drop off )
2 of them are ex's, 2 are gay, 7 are in relationships
I'm not even checking to see where the two remaining "options" live
Point being, there can be a dearth of possibilities in a given location at a given time. That's no excuse to give up on finding someone, but it can be a real challenge requiring patience and determination, which brings me back to my first sentence.
Of course you have less options when you are getting older! People die, people are taken, people are damaged, people have baggage, people get sick, lose looks, you lose looks, you may have baggage, different expectations than when you were younger, ....
Of course you have less options when you are getting older! People die, people are taken, people are damaged, people have baggage, people get sick, lose looks, you lose looks, you may have baggage, different expectations than when you were younger, ....
Also, as we get older, life tends to take over too. Kids, ailing parents, our own ailing health, careers, and so on and so on. We're likely never going to be as free as we were as late teens and early adults. We just didn't have responsibilities. Now we have a mortgage/rent, car payment, utility bills, etc. That all impacts our availability to seek a mate. Too add to the equation, you also have prior bad dating experiences and relationships that can greatly alter a person's ability to seek a mate. Whether it makes them hesitant or over zealous, our experiences shape how much or low little energy we put into things.
I'm 33, and this is the first time in 5 years that I've put little energy into dating. Not because I don't want to date per say, but the reality for me right now is, I do have a good amount of hobbies that are taking up my time. I've also approached dating very differently this year, to where I'm going to focus A LOT more on myself, than I have in all my prior years of dating. By doing so, there's a chance I could miss out on someone for me.
In a nutshell, a lot of dating is about timing. If the timing isn't right, it's going to be hard to get off ground zero.
In order to settle, you have to have options. Settling is just another option. Think of the guys here who say they can't get women's attention, they can't get a date. How would they settle? In order to do that, one has to be able to get somebody's attention. "Settling" is for people who have the options to begin with.
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Don't settle.
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