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Ah...well, lots of people get into relationships because they need or want someone else's financial contribution. Luckily, that's not the case for me. I'd hate to have to pretend to be into some guy just because I couldn't afford to live the way I want to on my own.
I'd hate to have to pretend to be into some guy
just because I couldn't afford to live the way I want to on my own.
That's not "settling"... that's whoring.
Settling in that sort of scenario is in NOT pretending. But more critically is something that needs to come after
getting to know them a fair bit and choosing to appreciate the seven of ten aspects they have...
and choosing to ignore the other three they don't.
Sure, but the typical male here complaining they can't get dates goes to work, comes home, and sits in front of their TV or their smartphone/laptop. It's kind of tough to engage in a conversation with women when you're a hermit.
I was talking to a guy who did literally NOTHING but work. NO interests at all. NO friends. He "would" work less if he had someone to come home to. How much fun does that sound to date? Pinning any life on the other someone?
Settling in that sort of scenario is in NOT pretending. But more critically is something that needs to come after
getting to know them a fair bit and choosing to appreciate the seven of ten aspects they have...
and choosing to ignore the other three they don't.
Is it really whoring though? I mean, think about in the past when women couldn't financially support themselves so they knew they had to get married and maybe settle for a man who they wouldn't otherwise want. I wouldn't call that whoring. That was just the reality of their lives. Nowadays, both men and women rely on romantic partners for money. I'm not talking about going after a rich guy, but a lot of people can't seem to make ends meet on their own without having a second income to rely on. So these sorts of people are likely to settle or stay in bad relationships due to their financial issues.
Is it really whoring though? I mean, think about in the past when women couldn't financially support themselves
so they knew they had to get married and maybe settle for a man who they wouldn't otherwise want.
I wouldn't call that whoring. That was just the reality of their lives.
I just did ... and for the purposes of this thread... I'll stick with that.
The key is in whether they could get by otherwise without that other persons money/assets.
You know.. so they have a real choice in the matter to "settle" or not.
Quote:
Nowadays, both men and women rely on romantic partners for money.
No more or no less than in years past.
We just had another thread on the merits of advising children to look for partners who have high(er) income potential.
At the other end of it with a financially strong person using their assets/income as leverage.
These are not new issues.
Been there, done that, cheaped out on the T-shirt . Three times, even. First one was incompatible and not my physical type, second one was hyper-focused on starting a family (read: with me), third one was treating me poorly. .
I should have been more specific.
Normal relationship.
I'm happy enough on my own that I have no reason to settle. Being with someone who doesn't add to your happiness is a recipe for misery. At this point in my life, adding to my happiness is a pretty high bar.
I've said this before many times but I guess I'll say it again: everybody settles whether you're a 1 or a 10. To suggest you don't have to settle implies an inherent cognitive dissonance and a touch-and-go relationship with reality.
My options have only increased as I've gotten older.
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. Three times, even. First one was incompatible and not my physical type, second one was hyper-focused on starting a family (read: with me), third one was treating me poorly. .
