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And if couple have kids, child rearing usually becomes their "hobby" by necessity...
They can continue their hobbies, even if they have kids. Only one caregiver is needed at any time, so the other adult can be off at their book club, or bowling league, or the occasional fishing weekend, or whatever. That's not a problem. I think it's good for parents to model having hobbies for their kids.
A mom who does quilting or gardening for a hobby can teach her kids to sew or garden, or to raise vegetables. A dad who works on classic cars can teach his kids the basics of car maintenance and repair as they grow. If they both enjoy boating, they can raise the kids going on weekend canoe or kayaking trips. It leads to a richer family life, and more occasions to bond. Hobbies also are educational for kids, and build competence and self-confidence.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 05-04-2017 at 03:28 PM..
Options for most women can easily dry up - because men of all ages often date women who are quite a bit younger than they are..
Men certainly want to date much younger women; but most 25 year old women don't want to date 50 year old men.
And I think a lot of men over 60 are just looking for a woman to play nursemaid. Young women don't want to be stuck at home taking care of an old man.
I did briefly date a 52 year old man when I was 32. His health was already going south and he'd already had one stroke. He couldn't work anymore. I didn't envision a future with him, as I wanted to have a family someday.
They can continue their hobbies, even if they have kids. Only one caregiver is needed at any time, so the other adult can be off at their book club, or bowling league, or the occasional fishing weekend, or whatever. That's not a problem. I think it's good for parents to model having hobbies for their kids.
A mom who does quilting or gardening for a hobby can teach her kids to sew or garden, or to raise vegetables. A dad who works on classic cars can teach his kids the basics of car maintenance and repair as they grow. If they both enjoy boating, they can raise the kids going on weekend canoe or kayaking trips. It leads to a richer family life, and more occasions to bond. Hobbies also are educational for kids.
I agree with this. Even more so, practicing hobbies, as a family or individually, will teach a child that personal enjoyment is as much a part of family life as "responsibilities". Hobbies shouldn't even be framed as rewards for good behavior/grades. They should be a normal thing. Otherwise, the kid will end up like yours truly .
We all settle. No one is perfect. And with billions of people on Earth, there's no way we can assess more than a fraction of 1% of 1% of all potential mates.
So we seek out someone who is suitable. Someone who we can accept, despite their flaws, just as they'll accept us despite our flaws.
No matter where the line is drawn, when we decide on a mate we are invariably settling to some degree.
Men certainly want to date much younger women; but most 25 year old women don't want to date 50 year old men.
And I think a lot of men over 60 are just looking for a woman to play nursemaid. Young women don't want to be stuck at home taking care of an old man.
I did briefly date a 52 year old man when I was 32. His health was already going south and he'd already had one stroke. He couldn't work anymore. I didn't envision a future with him, as I wanted to have a family someday.
Your response sticks to just one small part of what I said.
Men do often date women who are 10, 12, and 15 years younger than they are, and many men want that and look for it.
You got stuck on an idea about men 60 and older wanting to date women 30 years younger Or men in their 50's dating women in their 30's - that is not the point nor does it happen very often at all.
But men of various ages do often date and want to date women 10, 12, and 15 years younger than they are. Happens all the time. Many men do not marry a woman of their same age. They want younger.
And when men are in their 50's and 60's, many want women 10 and 15 years younger. Same with some men in their early 70's.
Please don't discount this with your idea of young women in their 20's, 30''s, and 40's not wanting to date men radically older.
Your response sticks to just one small part of what I said.
Men do often date women who are 10, 12, and 15 years younger than they are, and many men want that and look for it.
You got stuck on an idea about men 60 and older wanting to date women 30 years younger Or men in their 50's dating women in their 30's - that is not the point nor does it happen very often at all.
But men of various ages do often date and want to date women 10, 12, and 15 years younger than they are. Happens all the time. Many men do not marry a woman of their same age. They want younger.
And when men are in their 50's and 60's, many want women 10 and 15 years younger. Same with some men in their early 70's.
Please don't discount this with your idea of young women in their 20's, 30''s, and 40's not wanting to date men radically older.
Humans are many and varied. Some men want women significantly younger than they are, others don't. Others prefer peers who are at the same stage of life as they are, share common cultural and historical references, and so forth. And some men do go for women significantly older; that's been changing since the previous century. There are more and more couples in which the guy is much younger. It's a growing trend.
I think that only crosses one's mind when they NEED someone in their life. I don't find my options are dried up, maybe because I'm not always on the hunt for someone to fill a hole.
When I meet someone, it's a separate experience from completing my life, it's just nice-- not a relief!
So nope, not all people settle, it's not necessary.
Options for most women can easily dry up - because men of all ages often date women who are quite a bit younger than they are.
Whereas women generally and rarely attract men 10, 15, and 20+ years younger than they are -
while men do attract women who are 10, 15, and 20+ years younger than they are.
~~ because of societal norms, societal expectations, laws of attraction, anthropological factors, and men having more options due to these factors.
Not true for the people I know.
For the women I know, including my own mother, they have attracted SEVERAL men significantly younger than they are. My mother is often mistaken for being 20 years younger than her actual age. And a lot of my friends (20 to 25) REFUSE to date men that are 10+ years older.
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