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So I guess you dated EVERY woman who ever wanted you and lived happily ever after with all of them? You never dumped anyone, stopped calling anyone, ghosted anyone, or decided not to pursue someone because you liked another woman more?
To add to this: never considered any of the women you came across, or who expressed interest in you, too "homely" or "lame" to talk to or pursue? You have them all a fair try, @grad_student200?
Did you reject a lot of men when you were in your early 20s? Did you think some were too "homely" or "lame" and that there was someone "better"? Perhaps you are getting a taste of your own medicine years later in middle age.
Or perhaps not? I just have to ask. I know one woman who was a serial dater in the early 2000s. She was in her prime in the mid 20s and had many dating options. We hit it off but she quickly dumped me for another guy. She clearly thought that other guy was "better". Today, she is a divorced single mom in her 40s with two children. What goes around comes around.
Nope I would pretty much date whoever was in front of me and would only break up when they cheated on me or beat the crap out of me.
So I would say I was pretty fair. I have been in a relationship with about 12 different guys since I was 12 years old. I can't imagine that is a serial dater.
In order to settle, you have to have options. Settling is just another option. Think of the guys here who say they can't get women's attention, they can't get a date. How would they settle? In order to do that, one has to be able to get somebody's attention. "Settling" is for people who have the options to begin with.
Very true. You can't settle for the "lesser choice" if you have no choices.
Now, folks will say "there's no such thing," but that assumes that somebody has basically run all the possible outcomes of all possible relationships and said something like, "Oh, yeah - that woman 1 county over in the little blue house who you've never heard of and who has also given up would be your perfect wife." Yeah, sure - except she's not really an option. You're stuck among the people who are looking, generally who are in your area, and who are interested in your. That is rarely a lot of people to begin with, and one's options certainly dwindle with time and age.
Rampant unrealistic expectations aside...
it seems that few active OLD users are looking for more than dating.
Serial dating? You betcha.
Some maybe rising to serial shallow monogamy? Sure; a fair bit.
Really looking to settle in with a singular someone for the duration? Not so much.
The more that anyone has going on in their lives otherwise...
the less inclined they seem to be to look for or to expect more than some sort of seasonal arrangement.
eg: Summers coming up! Time to find someone good for beach weekends and road trips.
eg: Falls coming up! Time to find someone good for the parties and TG dinner at Mom's.
You don't get it. As one ages options do dry up especially for my demographic, situation, and race. At the moment ONLINE DATING is not working for me anymore, not even tinder because of those things I mention. It's so frustrating because almost everyone around me are married. I'm not good at meeting men in real life. I'm not sure how long I can keep going without a life partner, without marriage. I feel like I have to settle to get this. I'm not 20 or 30 anymore, settling is a fact of life after a certain age, you can't be picky anymore. At a certain age MR.GQ OR MR.PERFECT OR MR.PERFECT FIT DOES NOT EXIST. For the most part your dealing with divorcees, overweight, And men that may have a little more baggage than you can handle.
You don't get it.
At a certain age MR.GQ OR MR.PERFECT OR MR.PERFECT FIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You don't 'get it"
At any age... MR/MS.PERFECT NEVER EXISTED and MR/MS PERFECT FIT is a delusion.
It's only after 5 or ten years together that the rough edges (of both partners)
can be shaved and worn down and smoothed over enough that they'll be able to really fit together.
But they still won't be "perfect". That's an illusion you delude yourself into expecting.
Quote:
For the most part your dealing with divorcees, overweight,
and (people) that may have a little more baggage than you (want to) handle.
You don't get it. As one ages options do dry up especially for my demographic, situation, and race. At the moment ONLINE DATING is not working for me anymore, not even tinder because of those things I mention. It's so frustrating because almost everyone around me are married. I'm not good at meeting men in real life. I'm not sure how long I can keep going without a life partner, without marriage. I feel like I have to settle to get this. I'm not 20 or 30 anymore, settling is a fact of life after a certain age, you can't be picky anymore. At a certain age MR.GQ OR MR.PERFECT OR MR.PERFECT FIT DOES NOT EXIST. For the most part your dealing with divorcees, overweight, And men that may have a little more baggage than you can handle.
I sympathize. I don't know the specifics of your situation, but if you want to be in a relationship that badly, then yes, you might have to settle for a decent guy who you aren't really physically attracted to. Couldn't be me though. I'd rather die alone with a house full of cats, and that's probably what will happen. lol
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