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I'll try to make a longish story short.
In 2014 I was in a car accident, broke my back, chest, foot and had a closed head trauma and still today I'm having issues.
I get headaches nearly daily, I'm always in pain and my stomach keeps me in hell.
My day to day is rough.
I don't sleep well at night, I wake up just as tired the next day, my head and neck burns, hurts and aches and then every morning I'm back and forth to the bathroom for like two hours. The rest of my day doesn't get any easier.
I get hit with headaches in the middle of the day that will have me hot then cold, shaking, nauseous, vomiting and then I sleep for a few hours.
I have to cook all my meals and be very careful what I eat.
I live in pain.
He just started a new job and is up every morning at like 4/430, turning the tv on, the volume up, wants to have sex and breakfast made before he has to leave. It's annoying. He knows mornings are the hardest for me, I've told him enough times. I can't even eat that early. Never have been able to. I've never been a morning eater. It would always make me puke.
He intentionally acts stupid though.
"Why are you so tired? Stop being so lazy."
And it's like MF I just spent 8 hours sleeping and feel like I just spent 8 hours awake...what do you mean why am I tired? I'm tired because I'm in pain and have metal in my back and I can't sleep unless drugged.
Which, on to my next point, he whines when I take them before bed. It's an antacid and a muscle relaxer, I'll wake up sick to my stomach if I don't take the antacid and the muscle relaxer knocks me out but it works and it offers some relief.
"Now you're not going to want to wake up in the morning."
"Do you have to take it?"
It illicts that look Ice Cube got on his face when he found out in 22 Jump Street the one guy was his daughters boyfriend and they had had that conversation about him doing her.
I honestly look at him funny when he ask that because it doesn't make sense.
He thinks that life is life and that I should just ignore everything I go through it and do things anyways.
I'd love to but I can't I have limitations now and I've accepted them. Like he gets annoyed when I don't want to walk an 18 hole disc golf course that doesn't have bathrooms nearby. A) It makes me hurt. B) There aren't bathrooms and the closest cleanest bathroom is the one at my house.
The other morning I woke up with a headache, we had sex, it made my headache worse and by 11am I was sitting in bed with a heat wrap on my neck, trying to hold down the two headache pills I took, body tremoring, waves of extreme nausea and the sensation someone was driving a spike in my left temple.
"You wanna go to the store?"
"Why not?"
Oh idk, maybe because if I move I might vomit everywhere ATM and the extreme pain in my head has my whole body feeling so weak I can barely sit up right.
As if that isn't annoying enough he tries to tell me why I have issues.
Like my headaches he thinks stem from diet. I've had my headaches since I was 7. I know my triggers and avoid them.
But if I try and explain the metal in my back has caused knots in my back, shoulders and neck and that's what usually starts it then it falls on deaf ears and he just repeats himself and tells me to keep a diary of the food I eat.
He'll tell me that I can't fall asleep at night because I spent too much time on my phone. Yet ignores the fact that I've never been an early sleeper. My body just is not tired early, I don't get tired till 10/11 and it's been that way since before I ever had devices. It's stayed that way for the last 17 years.
He tells me I'd feel better if I exercised. I'm healthy, I'm skinny, I'm fine. The other day I twisted too hard ****ting the car door and caused sharp stabbing pain from where the screws are in. He wants me to go running and life weights. There 👏🏼 Is 👏🏼 Metal 👏🏼 In 👏🏼 My 👏🏼 Back!
He can go to bed at 1030 and be up at 430 and be fine.
I find I sleep best between 1030/11-7/730 and even then waking up still feels like the moment I came out from under anestesia. EVERY.DAMN.TIME. It's been that way since surgery. Waking up is the single most difficult event of my day.
It's like he doesn't want to deal with it, doesn't want it to be happening and the worst part is he'll act like I enjoy this.
I remind him all the time that it's always going to be worse for me than it is for him.
I have to deal with everything first hand and he doesn't even have to deal with anything. I'm in hell and he's merely "incovienced". I will admit I can be mean about it, if you can even call it mean, he does but when he whines I'll sit there with a stupid voice and be like "aww do tell me how my pain hurts you soooo much" "oh no poor you, must be so hard for you."
I don't even know what to do anymore.
I'm tired of feeling like crap, I'm tired of being told to just deal with it, tired of being told crappy advice that doesn't even make sense for my injuries.
I feel like he needs an intervention and some doctors to spell crap out for him.
I'll give you a short reply though - you need to get a new boyfriend!
I agree!
OP, I'm sorry you're going through that pain
Has he been with you to your doctor appointments? Maybe he actually does need someone to explain it to him. Were you dating him at the time of your accident?
Has he been with you to your doctor appointments? Maybe he actually does need someone to explain it to him. Were you dating him at the time of your accident?
Yeah we had been together for a few years already.
He's always thought it was nothing. Just a few broken bones to him.
He thinks it's "weird" I'm still having issues, that I should be fine. I shouldn't hurt so much and that I should want to drive and get over hating driving.
Sounds like you need a new boyfriend. One with compassion for your situation. This one is clearly a lemon.
For someone who has never struggled with a daily quality of life issue, it can be hard to understand how difficult it can be. That's understandable. But for your bf to have no sympathy at all for you about it is just too sad. I wouldn't stay with him if I was in your shoes.
Yeah we had been together for a few years already.
He's always thought it was nothing. Just a few broken bones to him.
He thinks it's "weird" I'm still having issues, that I should be fine. I shouldn't hurt so much and that I should want to drive and get over hating driving.
A few broken bones? You broke your back for crying out loud!!!! I have chronic back issues so I kind of know what you have to deal with on a daily basis.
He doesn't sound very supportive. Actually, he sounds kinda selfish and self-centered. If he's not willing to truly listen and understand then maybe it's time to dump him.
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