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On the same note, "my girlfriend" sounds... how you say?... overachieving. Like you're demonstrating that you have a girlfriend. Which I can see as being totally normal in one's teens, and maybe until college graduation. But after that, it's more normal to have one than to not have one. So an introduction as "my girlfriend" isn't necessary. Unless you're being territorial against unscrupulous men. Which is fine.
So as an adult, a simple "X, this is Y. Y, this is X." is perfectly good. The rest is determined by context and body language. So if you and X are holding hands or have your arms around each other, you're probably together romantically. If you and X are simply standing, chances are you're just friends or even colleagues.
Certain situations can complicate things. Situations like social dancing, where it's normal to get relatively close with non-romantic partners or even strangers. But more often than not, the above paragraph applies.
I agree that it's not necessary to announce some title to make the relationship clear. But neither do we usually stand around with our arms around each others' waist or holding hands either! People who know me, know him or will get the gist eventually but it's not really most people's business so they can figure it out or not, I don't care.
In terms of a work relationship, it's highly unlikely a "boyfriend/girlfriend" are in a business situation together - unless they were on the same team or dept. and in that context any other relationship than "esteemed colleague" would be strange to announce and perhaps career limiting!
Never felt the need to announce it. People just simply figured it out.
The only time I official announced something to that end, it was our official engagement. It wasn't a surprise to most in my circle (although a few thought I didn't have it in me to commit to a single person). Even then, I don't think it was necessary. Most would have just noticed an engagement ring, oo..ah.., and the word would spread.
PS> girlfriend / boyfriend for dating exclusive. Husband/wife for married. We actually don't have a term for engaged...
Just usually by name. It's implied that we are together.
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Originally Posted by CSD610
We generally introduced each other using our name as it was obvious we were a couple.
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Originally Posted by timberline742
Hi Bill, How are you? This is _____. ______ this is Bill.
No reason to delve into specifics.
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Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist
So as an adult, a simple "X, this is Y. Y, this is X." is perfectly good. The rest is determined by context and body language.
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Originally Posted by usayit
Never felt the need to announce it. People just simply figured it out.
IMHO, "leaving it for folks to figure out" just adds unnecessary intrigue.
If I'm at a neighborhood party where I don't know everyone but am trying to get to know people and I walk up to the buffet table where a man and woman are standing, it sure would make my night easier if they would say, "Hey, Wmsn, this is my girlfriend Anne..." or "This is my next-door neighbor Anne ..." so I don't have to either 1) wonder (and make assumptions) or 2) press the issue by asking more questions just for clarification, not out of nosiness.
If it really isn't a big deal, then just say it. No need to stand with your arms around each other (talk about "overachieving") or be cagey.
Leaving it for people to figure out opens you up to assumptions that might be more offensive than just being called "my lady."
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
Leaving it for people to figure out opens you up to assumptions that might be more offensive than just being called "my lady."
What we are to each other is our business. With the women I've generally dated and date, there would be (and this is why I learned not to do this many many years ago) some serious issues at using any term (ala "my girlfriend") that implies possessiveness.
I can't imagine wasting time trying to figure out some other couple's relationship to each other. Not my business, doesn't affect me at all.
What we are to each other is our business. With the women I've generally dated, there would be (and this is why I learned not to do this many many years ago) some serious issues at using any term (ala "my girlfriend") that implies possessiveness.
I can't imagine wasting time trying to figure out some other couple's relationship to each other. Not my business, doesn't affect me at all.
Small talk at a party doesn't have to get into "your business."
We're only talking about basic relational info (romantically involved or not?) that helps set the tone for conversation, not whether you prefer to be on top or whether she resents "possessiveness."
IMHO, "leaving it for folks to figure out" just adds unnecessary intrigue.
If I'm at a neighborhood party where I don't know everyone but am trying to get to know people and I walk up to the buffet table where a man and woman are standing, it sure would make my night easier if they would say, "Hey, Wmsn, this is my girlfriend Anne..." or "This is my next-door neighbor Anne ..." so I don't have to either 1) wonder (and make assumptions) or 2) press the issue by asking more questions just for clarification, not out of nosiness.
If it really isn't a big deal, then just say it. No need to stand with your arms around each other (talk about "overachieving") or be cagey.
Leaving it for people to figure out opens you up to assumptions that might be more offensive than just being called "my lady."
This is the crux of the issue. How important is it for people to know the relationship status of others?
Different cultures have devised all kinds of ways to indicate that over the years. Again, I really don't know how I feel about that.
I think that tell-if-you-want-to-tell, ask-if-you-want-to-know, and get-over-the-perceived-awkwardness-of-it is probably best.
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