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Everyone should protect their stuff with passwords, in general.
There’s very little that my spouse and I NEED to share passwords for. Bank? We have our own passwords. Bills? Each of us have specific bills we handle.
We have a shared email account that’s solely for household stuff, and everyone in this house has access to stuff like our Netflix password and iTunes.
Why would we need access to stuff we do not use?
I don't think the problem is his locking his computer and passwords. The problem is that he switched from not doing that to doing that. That's always a red flag and I can't believe that folks are dumb enough to think it won't be noticed.
Most men will not wander if they're getting their needs met at home. Maybe the OP isn't keeping him happy between the sheets?
Most men wander if they get an opportunity regardless of being happy between the sheets or not. The internet and social media has provided that opportunity. OP should go for the root cause. Probably keep an eye out on the credit card and monthly bank statements, phone records etc. Shutting down all individual fb accts and creating one joint fb acct for husband and wife would be a good start.
Most men wander if they get an opportunity regardless of being happy between the sheets or not. The internet and social media has provided that opportunity. OP should go for the root cause. Probably keep an eye out on the credit card and monthly bank statements, phone records etc. Shutting down all individual fb accts and creating one joint fb acct for husband and wife would be a good start.
Monitoring your partner and always insisting on joint accounts isn't the answer. If he is cheating, she needs to either figure out if she will put up with it, or leave him. If someone wants to cheat they will find a way to do so, no matter how much you try to monitor their activities. And who wants to live that way anyways? I would rather be alone any day then feel like I have to keep an eye on what my husband is doing.
Also, I don't think it has anything to do with being happy in the sheets at home, men who get plenty of action at home also cheat. As do women.
Monitoring your partner and always insisting on joint accounts isn't the answer. If he is cheating, she needs to either figure out if she will put up with it, or leave him. If someone wants to cheat they will find a way to do so, no matter how much you try to monitor their activities. And who wants to live that way anyways? I would rather be alone any day then feel like I have to keep an eye on what my husband is doing.
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In an ideal situation monitoring and insisting on joint accounts isn't necessary. But in this case there is suspicion that something fishy is going on, so its best to see what else is the guy upto? Is it only cyber buddy or he is paying bills, buying gifts, sending money to fb sweetheart 2000 miles away. If she is overseas it is even more scarier. It is considered normal to have joint assets and bank accounts for married couples at least in US, not sure about Canada.
People who want to cheat will find a way eventually but its not going be as easy if there are checks and balances in place. Just monitoring itself will not solve the problem.
In an ideal situation monitoring and insisting on joint accounts isn't necessary. But in this case there is suspicion that something fishy is going on, so its best to see what else is the guy upto? Is it only cyber buddy or he is paying bills, buying gifts, sending money to fb sweetheart 2000 miles away. If she is overseas it is even more scarier. It is considered normal to have joint assets and bank accounts for married couples at least in US, not sure about Canada.
People who want to cheat will find a way eventually but its not going be as easy if there are checks and balances in place. Just monitoring itself will not solve the problem.
I think in this case it's obvious this guy has an intention. Whether he has done anything yet, who knows (the distance). But, if someone isn't fully into being married, will checking on them really help things? I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't want to be with me. I just think life is too short. So yes, she could check on this, find out the truth, but to me, she already knows enough to know her husband isn't fully committed.
Divorce sucks, not saying it's easy. And some people who choose to stay knowing this, and that is a choice. But I think the issue isn't that he locked his computer. That is normal. So I just find it interesting that was the title of the post and what some people are focusing on. My husband and I always lock our phones and computers. Doesn't mean anything. He is the one who got annoyed when I didn't lock my phone, because if you lose it, the person who finds it has all your information ( he works in IT, so is always on my case about security)
I don't think the problem is his locking his computer and passwords. The problem is that he switched from not doing that to doing that. That's always a red flag and I can't believe that folks are dumb enough to think it won't be noticed.
Depends. Maybe he read some articles on internet safety and decided he needed to be more cautious?
I would ask instead of wondering. I'd also not be digging around on someone else's FB and computer, even if it was open to me.
Back in the day, when my ex and I shared a computer because there was only one in the house, we both had our own desktops and logins so we could set things up the way we wanted them.
It was practical. Not secretive. If one of us walked up while the other was on the computer, we didn't HIDE our screens.
Same now, even though my husband and I have our own devices, we don't actively hide them. They're just PW protected.
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