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Most men wander if they get an opportunity regardless of being happy between the sheets or not. The internet and social media has provided that opportunity. OP should go for the root cause. Probably keep an eye out on the credit card and monthly bank statements, phone records etc. Shutting down all individual fb accts and creating one joint fb acct for husband and wife would be a good start.
Ugh. I hate those joint FB accounts. I see one and think "I wonder which member of this couple got caught screwing around?"
LOL.
It just makes people look foolish.
I give a pass to very old folks. I figure they are only on FB to see pics of their grandkids and stay in touch with old, family friends.
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To get some sense of emotional balance, I went to regularly Alanon meetings several days out of the week. That helped tremendously. My husband had been a drinker in his earlier years; at present, he's more of a dry drunk (same issue/different affect). I told him that I was going to go into psychotherapy & I hoped he would. He is a Vietnam Vet (retired service member also) and has health issues >> diabetes from Agent Orange in Vietnam which began about 15 years ago. He is at present (I hope) going to the VA for PTSD (Vietnam) psychotherapy. He is from Louisiana; I am from East Texas so our cultures mesh. He was a mama's boy. He has always had issues with sex; that went away about 20+ years ago. It would have been nice...... but that's not the most imp. thing. He still has his computer locked up with no available password, etc from me. I have stopped asking for it. I don't care like I once did. One day I happened to look over his shoulder when I was talking to him about another subject & that young woman is on his Facebook still. After going through what I did with him, I don't have the respect or love for him that I did before. I cried a lot of tears over this. He & I are 68 soon to be 69. I am his retired "military" dependent, am on his bank account, etc., etc. It would be more difficult financially and emotionally to become single at my age; I'm at least with a southern man who I know fairly well. He's not 'mean'; he's just what one would call "unconscious", not aware of what the heck he's doing and it's impact on others.
To get some sense of emotional balance, I went to regularly Alanon meetings several days out of the week. That helped tremendously. My husband had been a drinker in his earlier years; at present, he's more of a dry drunk (same issue/different affect). I told him that I was going to go into psychotherapy & I hoped he would. He is a Vietnam Vet (retired service member also) and has health issues >> diabetes from Agent Orange in Vietnam which began about 15 years ago. He is at present (I hope) going to the VA for PTSD (Vietnam) psychotherapy. He is from Louisiana; I am from East Texas so our cultures mesh. He was a mama's boy. He has always had issues with sex; that went away about 20+ years ago. It would have been nice...... but that's not the most imp. thing. He still has his computer locked up with no available password, etc from me. I have stopped asking for it. I don't care like I once did. One day I happened to look over his shoulder when I was talking to him about another subject & that young woman is on his Facebook still. After going through what I did with him, I don't have the respect or love for him that I did before. I cried a lot of tears over this. He & I are 68 soon to be 69. I am his retired "military" dependent, am on his bank account, etc., etc. It would be more difficult financially and emotionally to become single at my age; I'm at least with a southern man who I know fairly well. He's not 'mean'; he's just what one would call "unconscious", not aware of what the heck he's doing and it's impact on others.
Thank you for the update on your situation. I am sorry for what you are going through. I don't know what else to say.
To get some sense of emotional balance, I went to regularly Alanon meetings several days out of the week. That helped tremendously. My husband had been a drinker in his earlier years; at present, he's more of a dry drunk (same issue/different affect). I told him that I was going to go into psychotherapy & I hoped he would. He is a Vietnam Vet (retired service member also) and has health issues >> diabetes from Agent Orange in Vietnam which began about 15 years ago. He is at present (I hope) going to the VA for PTSD (Vietnam) psychotherapy. He is from Louisiana; I am from East Texas so our cultures mesh. He was a mama's boy. He has always had issues with sex; that went away about 20+ years ago. It would have been nice...... but that's not the most imp. thing. He still has his computer locked up with no available password, etc from me. I have stopped asking for it. I don't care like I once did. One day I happened to look over his shoulder when I was talking to him about another subject & that young woman is on his Facebook still. After going through what I did with him, I don't have the respect or love for him that I did before. I cried a lot of tears over this. He & I are 68 soon to be 69. I am his retired "military" dependent, am on his bank account, etc., etc. It would be more difficult financially and emotionally to become single at my age; I'm at least with a southern man who I know fairly well. He's not 'mean'; he's just what one would call "unconscious", not aware of what the heck he's doing and it's impact on others.
I think you might as well see if you can get him to go to counseling with you.
You saw this and you won’t be okay until you two can work it out.
I’m sorry you’re going through this.
__________________
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Ugh. I hate those joint FB accounts. I see one and think "I wonder which member of this couple got caught screwing around?"
LOL.
It just makes people look foolish.
I give a pass to very old folks. I figure they are only on FB to see pics of their grandkids and stay in touch with old, family friends.
I noticed a lot of my friends who went into education occasionally post on their SO's FB account. I asked one time and they all said the same.
Parents of the children they teach are extremely judgemental, critical, and near impossible to meet their expectations. They constantly walking on egg shells around these parents. As such, they are also always looking for some sort of personal fault in these teachers.
OMG He/She smokes.. I don't want that around my child.
OMG He/She likes to party... I don't want that around my child.
OMG He/She participates in cosplay/steampunk stuff.. I don't want that immaturity around my child (actually happened in my circle)
etc...
God forbid you are in a same-sex relationship and post pictures of your SO... oh my (actually happened in my circle).
So they either avoid FB all together (which many people I know do) or they occasionally piggy back on their SO's account to keep in contact with friends and family (without divulging who their spouse is at work).
Its spread to others as well... I have a lot of friends that won't link to my account because I in turn have a few friended people that well.. lets.. just say... know how to party... very hard.. They are afraid of what their newer acquaintances and work friends will think. I really should just create two accounts; I practically live a double life anyways.
Last edited by usayit; 10-26-2017 at 08:49 AM..
Reason: typo
I'm sorry but I doubt counseling would help , he crossed the line. I would confront him and ask him to tell the truth. Unfortunately you get to babysit this man the rest of your life , he cannot be trusted . My ex ? When we were separated I found him on foreign dating sites , he traveled a lot . I said forget it and filed divorce , he can have Olga. He later screamed at me but nobody "did anything". I bet . No trust , no marriage .
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