Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
She's not borrowing money from the bank and coming up short with a payment. She made plans to go out and, push came to shove, she simply wasn't feeling up to it. Are you telling me that you've never had second thoughts about your plans for an evening after a long, hard day at work?
The truth of the matter here is that she was trying to be nice. And had the OP been gracious about matters and let her off the hook, he might actually be planning another date with her. And this one might have gone well. If she was noncommittal or canceled again, lose her number.
I swear some of you guys kill me with all your rules and hair-trigger responses. Dating is give-and-take, just like any relationship. Yet you'll turn around and wonder why you can't find someone.
Well then she failed. I don't think she sounded very nice at all and I wouldn't have wanted to reschedule anything with her either. She probably would've flaked out on that too.
I hear you but again I respectfully disagree. As I noted upthread, when I had to cancel last minute on someone I actually called, apologized profusely and gave a specific date.
The manner and method to her flake was much different...and well flakey.
Yes, me man, me strong. I can't understand an obvious request to delay a first meeting because me clueless. Me man, me strong. Must put person in their place. Me man.
LOL. I hear you Timberline but being tired is a lame excuse in my book. IF she had called with another date in mind: that would have been a completely different situation.
It is really on the flaking party to make up for their last minute shenanigans.
Having to reschedule a date because of an actual scheduling conflict isn't necessarily rude, depending on context and other details.
Bailing on something the night of because you "just aren't feeling it" IS rude.
I would assume she was ambivalent from the get-go, but didn't have the gumption (or whatever) to turn you down flat out from the start, and the "Well, I'm kinda tired and just don't feel like going out tonight after all" was the last ditch effort to get out of something she should have declined in the first place if she wasn't feeling it.
If you hadn't called to confirm/give directions, odds are she'd have been a no-show.
Absolutely. It is rude, and it's immature to hem and haw about being tired rather than just canceling (although she did TRY to cancel).
His pushiness and overreaction to her choosing not to go along with his endless suggestions made things worse, which is what he doesn't seem to get.
She's not borrowing money from the bank and coming up short with a payment. She made plans to go out and, push came to shove, she simply wasn't feeling up to it. Are you telling me that you've never had second thoughts about your plans for an evening after a long, hard day at work?
The truth of the matter here is that she was trying to be nice. And had the OP been gracious about matters and let her off the hook, he might actually be planning another date with her. And this one might have gone well. If she was noncommittal or canceled again, lose her number.
I swear some of you guys kill me with all your rules and hair-trigger responses. Dating is give-and-take, just like any relationship. Yet you'll turn around and wonder why you can't find someone.
Sure that happens, but most of us are adults, maybe you are in your teens and that affects your thinking on this, I don't know. Adults should be able to say what they mean and mean what they say.
Finding someone is easy these days, but putting up with BS like this woman in the op story is not lol
I think this is fine. At least you weren't rude. She sounds flaky and uninterested.
I agree with you and Timberline on this. I got the impression that she wasn't interested. She used the phrase "What time are we meeting again?", which in my experience has showed that they have a lack of interest in me. The women who actually wanted to see me knew what time we were meeting and would just confirm that we're still meeting. He didn't react as I should had of, but I think he was dead in the water anyways. Plus, it sounds like they met while out drinking. The person that seems fun while you're intoxicated, may not give off that same vibe when you're sober and have a chance to rethink everything. What was likely meant to be nothing more than some fun banter for the night, morphed into a date that she really didn't want to go on. Chalk this one up to the journey.
What we don't know here is her age. This will be a good indicator of her energy level after a long day during the week.
You both probably weren't very into each other to begin with. It happens, there's probably no reason for all of this analysis but hey, it's my day off and I'm bored.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,701 posts, read 41,779,199 times
Reputation: 41386
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
A flake is someone that repeats cancellations. Not someone that says one time they are too tired to go out, can we reschedule?
Things come up with work, with kids, with life every once in awhile, on my end and on theirs. That's expected.
If comes up, you just be straight up and say what's up, cant make it and offer to reschedule. You don't be like "I'm trying" and then have to be pressed to say "can't make It, I'm too tired." That is straight up flaky and lame.1
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,016,353 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Astral_Weeks
LOL. I hear you Timberline but being tired is a lame excuse in my book. IF she had called with another date in mind: that would have been a completely different situation.
It is really on the flaking party to make up for their last minute shenanigans.
Did you give her a couple of days to come back with another time to meet up?
Sure didn't sound like it. If someone isn't feeling well, or is too tired to meet, and asks to reschedule, I'm not going to be a Richard and make her, or expect her, to suggest another date and time on the spot or tell her off. The simple solution, and the polite one is, "Sure, we can reschedule. Let me know what might work for you." and leave it in her court and move on. Simple. Polite.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
If comes up, you just be straight up and say what's up, cant make it and offer to reschedule. You don't be like "I'm trying" and then have to be pressed to say "can't make It, I'm too tired."
She did just this. She said she was too tired and asked if we could reschedule, and he pushed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84
I agree with you and Timberline on this. I got the impression that she wasn't interested. She used the phrase "What time are we meeting again?", which in my experience has showed that they have a lack of interest in me. The women who actually wanted to see me knew what time we were meeting and would just confirm that we're still meeting. He didn't react as I should had of, but I think he was dead in the water anyways. Plus, it sounds like they met while out drinking. The person that seems fun while you're intoxicated, may not give off that same vibe when you're sober and have a chance to rethink everything. What was likely meant to be nothing more than some fun banter for the night, morphed into a date that she really didn't want to go on. Chalk this one up to the journey.
Probably true. But always always take the high road.
LOL. I hear you Timberline but being tired is a lame excuse in my book. IF she had called with another date in mind: that would have been a completely different situation.
It is really on the flaking party to make up for their last minute shenanigans.
Agreed. I made a similar thread years ago when a guy pulled similar crap (made plans, then poof, nowhere to be heard from night of until I texted him asking what was up), posted about it, and everyone agreed that it was a brushoff.
Bowing out at the 11th hour is poor etiquette. And not even CONTACTING the person to let them know you're bowing out is even poorer. If you want to cancel, cancel earlier. It's really disrespectful of others' time.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
comes up, you just be straight up and say what's up, cant make it and offer to reschedule. You don't be like "I'm trying" and then have to be pressed to say "can't make It, I'm too tired." That is straight up flaky and lame.1
