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I like affectionate people and I could never understand a couple who slept in different rooms or separate beds in the same room, except when they have sex. I sleep much better with someone beside me and even better yet when I am curled up behind someone or she is curled up with me. I will just chalk this one up to one of those things I don't understand.
How do people deal with different heat tolerances? The cold doesn't bother me one bit and I can't be in an artificially heated space without feeling like I'm having an out of body experience. Do electric blankets have separate controls for each side? Never having used one, I wouldn't know.
Different strokes and all but I have no problem if a husband & wife wanted to sleep in separate beds.....in fact I understand it now a lot better after years of marriage whether it be a snoring issue, alarm clock/work hours differences or just plain overall freedom in bed to move around without annoying the other and, ok I'll say it, even pass gas as free as you like.
It's actually becoming a common thing in new construction so it can't be that frowned upon:
The last wife and I gave up on a single bed/bedroom setup early on. We had different sleep types, different heat/cool styles. She was a snuggler which is about the last thing I am. I sleep late, she's up early. She liked light, I could paint the windows black. Then there were the little dogs, real cuddlers. I never minded them on the bed but she took great offense at waking up with poochies rear bits next to her face. Not a good thing for me either but they always seemed to face her direction.
As was previously mentione, whatever works for the couple is fine and "normal." I know plenty of people who choose separate beds or bedrooms; whether it is because of light sleeping, snoring, different schedules, ailments, disabilities, etc. I think this is a lot better for a marriage than having a cranky spouse who could not get any sleep for whatever reason!
A friend of mine and her husband have slept in separate bedrooms since they married.....both sleep on opposite sides of the house. Married 20 years..I do not see a happy marriage . I find that sad. Yes..he snores and she got the huge Master bedroom with walkin closet and double sink bathroom. He gets to sleep in the guest bedroom. No thank you.
Not saying for other couples but l hit the couch in the last 6mths of my marriage and alas , 6mths later ! Admittedly though we'd already been having a rough time well before.
l know it was a last straw thing but she was just wriggling and steeling covers and making noises , 18yrs of it and l just needed a break.
The problem really started though when l discovered l loved sleeping on the couch, watching movies all night and eating lots of crap in bed , or in couch.
l'm ashamed to say but tbh, l really did not wanna go back to sharing a bed after that.
We both have our own rooms and bathrooms. We both have trouble sleeping for different reasons. We each have furnishing styles and possessions we prefer. He likes his room freezing cold. I get up early. He stays in bed till late. He likes to watch the tv, I prefer quiet.
It doesn't make us sad or less married. Every couple has their own normal.
My late husband and I didn't sleep in the same room for the last ten years of his life. His snoring would wake the dead. When I'd finally get to sleep, *I'd* start snoring and he'd wake up, poke me and say "WAKE UP, YOU'RE SNORING!" and then roll over and go back to sleep.....and snore some more. Rinse and repeat.
Finally, I moved into the farthest bedroom away from him and was able to get some sleep. It worked for us. There were plenty of opportunities for "fun and games", but sleep....ah, sleep....is priceless.
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