Gay guy here. Just a little less than two months ago, I started to "see" someone, if you could call it that. So here is the story:
About two months ago we had an amazing first date, ended with a kiss. After that, we planned for a date for two weeks later. He added me on Facebook the next morning after date 1. Communication was very sparse in between dates 1 and 2. Pretty much non-existent. I don't text daily, but I would think texting every 3-4 days is reasonable. So when I would text, his answers were very short and to the point. So I figured maybe he is not a big texter?
Date 2, was wonderful too, he didn't want to end the date but he was flying out early the next morning for a wedding so we had to eventually end it. Date 3 was set for a couple weeks from now. While at the wedding he sent me pics of himself in his tux, but again he was very short and not talkative in his texts. Between date 2 and 3 again communication was extremely sparse and he came off as cold. At this point I am thinking "He is probably talking to other guys and playing the field" which is fine with me, because after a tumultuous summer of dating two different guys (separately) I wasn't looking to jump in head first to anything.
Date 3, got real hot and passionate and I slept over his place that night. So far progress right? But again I couldn't help but feel there is this wall up or something. Was my gut feeling. The communication between dates just seemed too off. Especially when in person he is super talkative, warm and super conversational.
A few days later he invited me over to have dinner with his friends at his place. He wanted me to meet his dearest and nearest. It went great and his friends and I got along just fine. I even heard him ask one of his friends "What did you think of him?" as he was escorting her out. She said good things from what I overheard
That night after everyone left he revealed something to me. He told me before the first date he had with me that he had just gotten over his ex. About 3 years ago he was dating a guy for a year. He was deeply in love with his first and he thinks possibly his true love. After a year they broke up, and he went into a deep, deep depression. The depression lasted for two years and he really struggled, was extremely hurt, and started drinking and doing marijuana heavily because of it. Six weeks prior to him and I having our first date, that ex came to town (he had moved away) and they spent the day together, and it was a way to get closure from him and on the situation.
So with that being said, things started to make a little more sense. That wall I keep feeling from him I think is either he's not over his ex, OR he is scared to get hurt like that again seeing as he supposedly JUST got over his ex before he met me.
It's bizarre though because while on dates and together he's so open and into it, but then outside of that, there is just this wall and distance I feel from him. On paper it looks like everything is going great, but my gut feeling tells me something is off. I sometimes think he is lost and trying to figure it out, but after two months, it's just feeling a little stale now.
I am taking him out on Sunday, so I am wondering if I bring the topic up? I almost feel like asking him how does he see us progressing? How is he still coping with his ex? Or should I give this all more time before I bring up the subject? What do you all think?
I like him, but I dunno, my intuition has me a little
about him. My gut tells me there's something off.
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