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Location: In a city within a state where politicians come to get their PHDs in Corruption
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My wife is stay-at-home mom, for the last 12 years, save for a year when I was in grad school. Her choice, not mine, at least at that time. It would have been lot easier for me if she worked 12 years ago when we were down right broke. Now, when I look back at it, best decision I ever accepted.
At certain point OP, people like yourself when faced with real world decision(s) will stop pontificating, moralizing and judging, because no amount of ideology will help you get through an enormously difficult, yet most rewarding thing--being a parent.
The question doesn't have to be addressed in terms of good or bad. It is a personal choice, indeed, and nothing's wrong with those opting for it. Judging from the replies to this threat, it's a decision people get pretty defensive about.
Back in the days, women were expected to be homemakers and nothing else. Access to employment was perhaps the greatest landmark in women's emancipation.
So where does patriarchy come in if there is choice in the decision to work at home or outside?
So where does patriarchy come in if there is choice in the decision to work at home or outside?
Your question seems to suggests that patriarchy is a form of domestic abuse. It isn't so. Patriarchy is a social model encompassing certain values and structures people may chose to follow or not. One of them being the gender based organization of the household: males working outside the house and being the breadwinners, females taking care of house chores and raising children.
Your question seems to suggests that patriarchy is a form of domestic abuse. It isn't so. Patriarchy is a social model encompassing certain values and structures people may chose to follow or not. One of them being the gender based organization of the household: males working outside the house and being the breadwinners, females taking care of house chores and raising children.
Yes, but your interpretation of history seems to come exclusively from reading Jane Austen novels. Women worked in the fields, the mills, and everywhere else. Not just in the kitchen.
The patriarchy to me means the era when men had all of the good paying jobs. So in a way it is a remnant of the past. 100 years ago hardly any women were doctors, now about half are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43
The majority of women in my neighborhood are stay at home moms. This is really a decision for the couple to make. Having one person take care of the home, errands, cooking and what not, can relieve a lot of stress on both partners, and can be a big plus for the kids.
The guy has to make a ton of money for it to be a realistic situation. So I dunno if you're in the state that I think you are, you're in a very high cost of living area so the women there must have quite the talent for snagging well off men. No stay at home dads eh?
Last edited by wanderlust76; 10-25-2017 at 01:35 PM..
The patriarchy to me means the era when men had all of the good paying jobs. So in a way it is a remnant of the past. 100 years ago hardly any women were doctors, now about half are.
The guy has to make a ton of money for it to be a realistic situation. So I dunno if you're in the state that I think you are, you're in a very high cost of living area so the women there must have quite the talent for snagging well off men. No stay at home dads eh?
Yeah, it's Hawaii so a very high COL. Among those of us who are retired, I do see some guys home and the wife still works. It's a variety, but my neighborhood only has 131 homes. I stay at home, and only one teen part time, but it's pre-retirement.
Snagging well off men? DH makes good money, but I brought a butt load of assets (cash) to the marriage. So that went into home purchase, which makes our mortgage small. So I guess DH "snagged" a well off woman.
Or maybe it is not a case of anyone "snagging" anyone. Just a bunch of relationships with team work of all sorts.
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Your question seems to suggests that patriarchy is a form of domestic abuse. It isn't so. Patriarchy is a social model encompassing certain values and structures people may chose to follow or not. One of them being the gender based organization of the household: males working outside the house and being the breadwinners, females taking care of house chores and raising children.
How so? I am talking about choice, which is the opposite of abuse. Systemic patriarchy however, the kind you are accurately describing, however has no such choice for women. Mores are changing now where in many households women are better educated and also hold better jobs/careers, and men work from home and care the kids. It is not very prevalent but not uncommon. In any case how a couple work out their responsibilities is their decision, choice. Taking care of house chore, in days gone by, was hard work. Men, farmers in particular, needed their wives and their labor to make a living off the farm.
To believe that, one must have either a very poor or very miopic grasp of history. One example is textile production in the pre-industrial era: raw materials were brought to rural homes for women to make fabrics, yarn, thread, etc., and then the finished product were picked up and sold to merchants.
Right, it's where the antiquated word "spinster" comes from. She spun wool into thread for money. As a job.
It's better to have the wife take care of the home and kids while the husband makes money for the household. That is if they can afford it. Men and women are equal but have different roles in society. Children shouldn't be in daycare so young in life.
The patriarchy to me means the era when men had all of the good paying jobs. So in a way it is a remnant of the past. 100 years ago hardly any women were doctors, now about half are.
The guy has to make a ton of money for it to be a realistic situation. So I dunno if you're in the state that I think you are, you're in a very high cost of living area so the women there must have quite the talent for snagging well off men. No stay at home dads eh?
Interestingly, in 1900, the percentage of women doctors was double that of the 1950s. It wasn't until the early 1970s that the percentage crept back up to that of the turn of the 20th century.
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