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people with very low self esteem, very low self confidence, and people whos parents never validated their attractiveness can get so envious and bitter when others are openly confident with their own appearance and beauty (both inner and outer). Confident people are cool with other confident people (usually). You have to know that you are beautiful both inside and outside and consider yourself to be part of the beautiful and confident crowd....it just is a must imo. Not narcissism at all. It is called self-confidence.
OK, looks like I'll have to respond in public, too, since you did. As I told you, I'm not exactly a part of the "ugly crowd" and I'm certainly not jealous of your looks. Beauty can be quite subjective anyway. I've got many problems, but appearance is not one of them. Confidence is one thing; total lack of humility entirely another. You could've called yourself good-looking, attractive, handsome... Could've used any number of words nobody would have a problem with, but the choice of "beautiful crowd" does imply shallowness and arrogance to me.
I already described to you how beauty is determined by the individual. My very over weight friend considers himself beautiful inside and outside, and so do I. I have high regards for him and his self confidence.
I can use whatever words I want to. It is a free country. And I hope whenver I use the word "beautiful crowd" from now on, you will get the hint that it just means confident with our look and our selves.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ
OK, looks like I'll have to respond in public, too, since you did. As I told you, I'm not exactly a part of the "ugly crowd" and I'm certainly not jealous of your looks. Beauty can be quite subjective anyway. I've got many problems, but appearance is not one of them. Confidence is one thing; total lack of humility entirely another. You could've called yourself good-looking, attractive, handsome... Could've used any number of words nobody would have a problem with, but the choice of "beautiful crowd" does imply shallowness and arrogance to me.
Ya I know......the bottum line was just my guess hence the reason for me asking others opinions. I was hoping that the so called "beautiful crowd" wound't have a picture perfect love life. Because I know that I don't. Get it now?
Yeah...I get it now, but just because you consider yourself in the beautiful crowd, doesn`t mean that you are going to have a picture perfect life.
Just like if your in an average crowd, doesn`t mean that its going to be any harder to hook up into a relationship, or keep one.
it's my experience that truly physically attractive people rarely think they are so and rather unattractive people usually think they are drop-dead gorgeous. so maybe, artsyguy, you are just butt ugly and noone wants to date you. just perhaps, those 'creepy' guys you gave your number to ARE in your league
I already described to you how beauty is determined by the individual. My very over weight friend considers himself beautiful inside and outside, and so do I. I have high regards for him and his self confidence.
I can use whatever words I want to. It is a free country. And I hope whenver I use the word "beautiful crowd" from now on, you will get the hint that it just means confident with our look and our selves.
OK... whatever! As I said before I don't have much experience with gays. Their talking tends to be somewhat different if we can believe the stereotyping on TV. You were certainly tight-lipped when I asked some questions last night.
As far as your overweight friend, he may consider himself physically beautiful all he wants to, but it ain't gonna change anybody else's perception one bit... He may have a great personality, he may have great features, but self-illusion is not gonna slim him down, that's for sure.
Sometimes there's a mismatch between who you think you are inside and who you are projecting to the outside world. I don't intend for my words to be hurtful, but this is what I perceive from what you and your words project:
I think you're hung up on outward appearances, both of your own and of others. When you say "I gave my phone number to about three people that I don't find attractive but possibly wanted to be friends with them, now I am changing my mind and am upset with myself for flirting with not too attractive older guys that I would never date." (from your other post) it does come across as shallow and vain. Despite how much you claim to consider your overweight friend beautiful inside and out, you're judging well-meaning individuals (who you said you liked enough to consider a friendship) based solely on outward appearances alone. Consciously or not, you've made the decision that they don't measure up to your standard of beauty and that they don't deserve to be by your side and that you're clearly out of their league. It doesn't sound like you even give them a chance to let their inner beauty shine through before you decide that they're not a good enough trophy. Just like your overweight friend, these people may have a lot to offer (as friend or lover) despite their lackluster looks if you only get to know them. Beauty certainly gets you attention, but you can't build a relationship based on beauty.
Secondly, knowing you look good is great. Being confident in your looks is great. But it gets old when someone can't stop talking about how good they look, and your posts come across as such. I understand that we don't get the "whole story" in these posts and we're only getting a narrow and limited look into your character, but when you mention nothing but your beauty, it comes across as vain and lacking in depth. And when you do talk about your looks, choose your words wisely so as not to come across as pretentious or worse. Also, confidence based on looks alone is a fragile thing, make sure your confidence is based on something more solid. Looking fabulous is great, but make sure you polish the inner self and are a person of substance, character, and personality. Too often you see people who, because their beauty gets them attention and preferred social standing, fail to develop a solid sense of self or are just void of personality. And the last thing you want is to be a beautiful bore.
Sorry if this came across as preachy. I just want to encourage you to take a minute to reflect upon whether you might be guilty of these things, and thereby unintentionally projecting the wrong image.
OK, looks like I'll have to respond in public, too, since you did. As I told you, I'm not exactly a part of the "ugly crowd" and I'm certainly not jealous of your looks. Beauty can be quite subjective anyway. I've got many problems, but appearance is not one of them. Confidence is one thing; total lack of humility entirely another. You could've called yourself good-looking, attractive, handsome... Could've used any number of words nobody would have a problem with, but the choice of "beautiful crowd" does imply shallowness and arrogance to me.
Much agreed (on the comment bolded).
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and I'm certainly not jealous of your looks. Beauty can be quite subjective anyway. I've got many problems, but appearance is not one of them. Confidence is one thing; total lack of humility entirely another. You could've called yourself good-looking, attractive, handsome... Could've used any number of words nobody would have a problem with, but the choice of "beautiful crowd" does imply shallowness and arrogance to me.
