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Merriam-Webster tends to collaborate with my view.
Yeah, if I say I'm crazy about dogs, that doesn't make me crazy in a "text book crazy" kind of way.
When someone says "I'm crazy about him" as long as he likes her in return, it is considered a good thing.
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Question:
Were these 8 texts sent in rapid succession? Some of us girls do message that way, but it would be kind of weird if they were spaced out and she didn't wait for a reply to any of them.
Also:
Planning the next TWO dates is expecting a bit much. One date is ok but two? Hold your horses lady! RED FLAG
More context definitely needed, regarding "8 texts in one day." Were they each a whole thought? Like a paragraph or something? Were you responding back and forth? In all honesty this looks like overthinking the whole thing, and seeking reasons to not see her anymore. If you don't feel a desire to see her anymore, you don't need to grasp at reasons to call it quits. Just acknowledge you are not feelin' it, and move along. On the other hand, if you like her, why on earth would you be looking for a reason to be nervous that she likes you, too? Examine your gut instincts here. You don't need to find a reason she did something wrong, to back out, if you simply don't want to keep seeing her. You don't need to justify a gut feeling. If you gut says, "She smells like trouble"...go ahead and trust that!
However, on its face, I can think of plenty of reasons one might send 8 texts in one day.
Also regarding trying to plan your next 2 dates, again, need a bit more info. If a woman says, "I'm free on Tuesday, and on Saturday" then she is not in fact expecting you to lock in plans for both of those days. She is telling you what her availability is, so that you can tell her if you are available on either of those days. Since it's not like you two have access to a calendar that spells out when you're available, and everybody has a life, maybe she's just sharing what's open on her end in the near future so you can see if any of it works for you. Is this possible? Think about it.
And no, if a woman has not mentioned exclusivity, then she is not grasping for "commitment."
Also, learn to use your words and ask for what you want. If 8 texts in one day, and two attempts to make date plans, is too much for you, maybe try to tactfully say, "Look, this time of year I have a lot going on. I want to see you again, but I'm kind of overwhelmed right now, and texting all day is just a little much for me at the moment. Can we slow our roll a bit, at least until after the holidays? I'd really appreciate it."
A decent, mature, respectful human being, will handle that on its face and not get offended or pushy, I would think. A "clinger" or stalker or needy person, someone with poor emotional control, will get upset. Her reaction would tell you everything you need to know about whether your concerns are valid. The key is asking for what you need, without attacking her. There is no need for that.
Can't rep you again Sonic, but that was a perfectly reasonable way to handle and view the situation.
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maybe try to tactfully say, "Look, this time of year I have a lot going on. I want to see you again, but I'm kind of overwhelmed right now, and texting all day is just a little much for me at the moment. Can we slow our roll a bit, at least until after the holidays?.
That's about what he did.
"I told her I'm pretty busy for the holidays but might be free for one of the dates. "
Can't rep you again Sonic, but that was a perfectly reasonable way to handle and view the situation.
Thanks, Mikala43! I'm constantly struggling against the rep limits around here, too.
I wish someone had helped me see things more reasonably a time or two when I was dating, it's hard when you're too close to a situation (like, in the middle of it) and you overanalyze everything. Pretty much any time I say anything sensible here, it's because I'm looking back at something in my past and thinking, "Oh my god I was an idiot..." LOL Like I tell my sons, I touched the hot stove so that maybe you won't have to!
(Sadly, though, it usually doesn't work that way. Everybody wants to see what the hot stove feels like for themselves. C'est la vie!)
I get this vibe that the OP is making this out to be more than what it actually is.
Last edited by Auraliea; 12-20-2017 at 10:53 AM..
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