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[quote=hawk101;51676481
But he did about the worst eff up possible but you've gotta get past that and let him back into your daughters life , for her , regardless of where you two end up as a couple she's gotta have the chance to have her dad now and as much of it as she can get and l really hope for her that's a lot. Whether it's as a couple or separate , that's another issue.
But as far as getting back together hell yeah , if it's still there between you of course you could and that'd be even more fantastic for your daughter.
but even if he wants that and l really hope he does and he works like a dog to win you back , l guess it all comes down to whether you can forgive him and get past what he did.
l really hope he does and l hope you can , for your daughter.
Good luck.[/QUOTE]
Read the first post again. He took off before the daughter was born. He NEVER was in her life, ever. And he's not sticking around this time. He's taking back off to another country and MIGHT come back again in a few years.
A person that is in and out of a child's life is worse and more harmful to the child than not having him in her life at all.
Yeah , l know he took off before, just effg sad but all the more reason he be in her life finally.
lf he's gonna stay.
But then yeah , there's all the other stuff you talk about,, huge points.
God l dunno , makes me sick to the stomach l know that much. Call me hopeful but l'd really be thinking he would fall in love with his daughter like a dad does and not be able to leave again.
As you say though. Damn. l can;t even comprehend how anyone could do that shyt.
Yeah , l know he took off before, just effg sad but all the more reason he be in her life finally. lf he's gonna stay.
But then yeah , there's all the other stuff you talk about,, huge points.
God l dunno , makes me sick to the stomach l know that much. Call me hopeful but l'd really be thinking he would fall in love with his daughter like a dad does and not be able to leave again.
As you say though. Damn. l can;t even comprehend how anyone could do that shyt.
The bolded is the key. How likely is he to stay, if he's not willing to relocate to the UK until after he gets Australian residency rights/visa status?
I do understand what you are saying and it’s sometbinf I’ve thought long and hard about. But I do feel it’s important for my daughter to have some sort of contact with her father. And yes it does concern me that he may disappear again. But I think a part of it was he HAD to go and see for himself if he liked it. He didn’t and I’m hoping that he may decide to stay this time around because he does fall in love with his daughter. But it will be a very slow thing which may never start. I will be watching his actions like a hawk.
I’m glad he met her his one time. She’s too young to understand any of it.
As for my age when I had my daughter, I told him very early on I wanted a child. I didn’t trick him, we had fully consented sex and I fell pregnant. And he ran. Simple as that, despite saying he wanted a child...
What he did when he left you when pregnant and disappeared out of your life, and your daughter's life, was to show you who he is. Be thankful for that clarity and don't choose him again as a partner. It's great if he wants to be involved with his daughter, but I would be careful with how that is handled as he could very well disappear again after your daughter gets attached to him.
He was in his late 30s when he pulled his disappearing act. He was definitely old enough to know better - it's not like he was a teenaged boy who wasn't old enough to know better.
But I do feel it’s important for my daughter to have some sort of contact with her father.
IMO, it would be better to wait until your daughter is older and let HER decide if she wants a relationship with him, rather than just letting him be a potential revolving door in her life.
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