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My husband likes to tell people that one of the big things that attracted him to me is that I didn't play the typical female games, like playing hard to get it making the man chase me like I am some kind of prize to win.
When I met my hubby (and actually anyone else for that matter), I treated him like a human being who was equal to me. I showed interest in him, had thoughtful conversations with him and made it clear that I liked him and enjoyed his company. I didn't act coy or play head games with him and he found it so refreshing after dealing with so much of that with "typical women". He told me later that he could see what a special and genuine woman I was right away and our relationship flourished very quickly.
I am not suggesting you throw yourself at a man, but just be yourself and treat him like a person who deserves kindness and respect and if you are interested in him, let him know! Don't make him chase you. Those games are so old.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 12 days ago)
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Yes. Playing hard to get.
The problem with that is you often end up with a guy who is really turned on by a challenge, but not so much turned on by a stable and loving relationship.
So you have to spend your entire relationship continuing to play hard to get, which is exhausting. When you stop, he gets bored.
?? Isn't that what's usually called "playing games"?
Nope. Playing games is when you play into the other persons desires when you know you don't feel the same way or want the same things.
Like when someone tells you they love you, but you find out later that they were loving 6 other people at the same time they were loving you; or, when someone says they want to marry you, but they don't, and are only saying it to get what they want from you.
Not being easy and putting a value on yourself and your time shows that you respect yourself. You put a value on yourself. Someone who is really into you as a person wont mind chasing you a bit.
My boyfriend and I were 100% clear from the beginning that we were done playing games and just wanted to be able to be ourselves in a relationship. We've been together now for 5 months. During this time, whenever I felt like calling or texting him, I did. And he did the same. Neither one of us made the other one "work for it" because we are DONE with that kind of juvenile behavior.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 12 days ago)
35,640 posts, read 18,001,275 times
Reputation: 50681
Quote:
Originally Posted by ComeCloser
Nope. Playing games is when you play into the other persons desires when you know you don't feel the same way or want the same things.
Like when someone tells you they love you, but you find out later that they were loving 6 other people at the same time they were loving you; or, when someone says they want to marry you, but they don't, and are only saying it to get what they want from you.
Not being easy and putting a value on yourself and your time shows that you respect yourself. You put a value on yourself. Someone who is really into you as a person wont mind chasing you a bit.
You have different terms for different things.
"Playing games" includes pretending you're unavailable and uninterested when you are actually available and very interested.
And as my old home ec teacher told us girls in the 70's, you'll likely end up with a guy who is into the chase but not the relationship.
"Playing games" includes pretending you're unavailable and uninterested when you are actually available and very interested.
And as my old home ec teacher told us girls in the 70's, you'll likely end up with a guy who is into the chase but not the relationship.
Being coy and flirtacious is not pretending you are uninterested. Showing someone you are not easy, and cant be had on a whim isn't pretending to be unavailable.
Maybe that was the case in the 70's, but reading what guys on this forum write, they cant even be asked to ask you out more than once. Suffice it to say that if they represent the typical mindset of men today you don't have to worry about that 70s reasoning at all.
yes, but its not the playing of games, everyone does it, its how the game is played.
That is how YOU play the game, because YOU are a gamer. And now we know what YOUR game is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC
Yes. Playing hard to get.
The problem with that is you often end up with a guy who is really turned on by a challenge, but not so much turned on by a stable and loving relationship.
So you have to spend your entire relationship continuing to play hard to get, which is exhausting. When you stop, he gets bored.
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