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That's what a friendship is...to you. And to some people.
Not to someone like me. Has to do with personality type. I'm highly extroverted, and I could say more, but it's beyond the scope of this conversation. I am most natural being lightly connected to many people, and only elevating very very few (like Mom and partner and my kids, for instance) to that 1-on-1 level of closeness. But a lot of those "light" connections, are people I do consider to be friends. Like...hundreds of them. But I'm going to parties almost every weekend, and various other events all over the place otherwise, so I'm doing more stuff with my social group than many people do with groups.
That's what a friendship is...to you. And to some people.
Not to someone like me. Has to do with personality type. I'm highly extroverted, and I could say more, but it's beyond the scope of this conversation. I am most natural being lightly connected to many people, and only elevating very very few (like Mom and partner and my kids, for instance) to that 1-on-1 level of closeness. But a lot of those "light" connections, are people I do consider to be friends. Like...hundreds of them. But I'm going to parties almost every weekend, and various other events all over the place otherwise, so I'm doing more stuff with my social group than many people do with groups.
I am opposite and I tend to have closer/deeper relationships with fewer people. To each their own
OP, sounds like you are having an emotional affair with your fellow female workplace person.
Emotional affairs are cheating, dangerous to marriages, often deeply hurt one's spouse, are not recommended because it causes divided loyalties, and often leads to a physical relationship.
A good loyal marriage partner doesn't have emotional affairs with other women, or a very special woman.
Wise spouses steer clear of this. It is often very hurtful to one's spouse and jeopardizes one's marriage.
Emotional affairs at work or with a person from work often lead to the demise of the marriage(s). You're also not supposed to elevate another woman to the same emotional closeness and level of emotional intimacy that one has with one's spouse.
I get what you're saying but I think that a lot of people who get into emotional affairs start out as just opposite sex friends. While there are some people who actively look for affairs, others fall into them by becoming too close to another person and making bad choices when they get to that point.
I think having appropriate boundaries are what allow people to have a normal male/female friendship without it progressing into an emotional and/or physical affair. The characteristics that you refer to have the ability to shift when there are no boundaries and the chance is even higher when there are already cracks in the primary relationship.
I get what you're saying but I think that a lot of people who get into emotional affairs start out as just opposite sex friends. While there are some people who actively look for affairs, others fall into them by becoming too close to another person and making bad choices when they get to that point.
I think having appropriate boundaries are what allow people to have a normal male/female friendship without it progressing into an emotional and/or physical affair. The characteristics that you refer to have the ability to shift when there are no boundaries and the chance is even higher when there are already cracks in the primary relationship.
I think that is entirely valid and correct.
I also think, another aspect of the OP's situation is that I don't tend to get that close to coworkers. Like I would not even consider dating, sex, romance, with a coworker. I tend to keep that group of people very much compartmentalized away from the rest of my life. I feel that even if you form some kind of bond with a coworker that isn't an affair, there is a risk of drama, like what if you break up, and you don't want to see each other every day but now you HAVE to. It's just, to me, too much potential for issues. If you add to that, she is also married, and it's an extramarital affair in the works...wowee, now that is a bundle of drama I would NOT want at my place of employment. Nope!
He says there is "chemistry" and they were "meant for eachother." I don't usually say that about my female best friend (I'm a female). I have never said those things about someone I wasn't into in a romantic way.
No, a friendship is not having a meant for one another bond and chemistry to the extent of wondering whether it's appropriate or whether it's "playing with fire" (another thing the OP said)...is that how you feel about your male friends?
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