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Uh yeah she should take the kid out of daycare and have him watch the kid. Saves them money and he contributes. He can whine if le likes so long as he does it.
What if he doesn't. What if he puts the kid in a room, shuts the door, turns up the music and ignores it? What if he neglects the child, or worse? As a Mom I would not want to take that chance with an infant.
With an older kid capable of making a sandwich and using a toilet, ok perhaps. Not with a baby.
Do you have kids? Just wondering. I think I remember you saying you are married, but I never recall if you said you had kids.
I guess, she knows the guy, we don't, right? She could judge. If she trusts him to take care of the kid, she could leave the kid with him and make him take care of it like you say. But if she doesn't, then I really don't think she ought to be staying with somebody she can't even trust that far.
This would be fully acceptable if the tables were turned.
Why get married if you dont mean the vows til death do you part?
Only a year? Try counseling first.
No it wouldn't. And SAHM's don't expect their working husbands to do the cooking, cleaning and child care, and they don't have daycare for the children.
He knows how to take care of himself and he knows how to take care of that kid. The answer to every marital problem doesn't have to be divorce. Especially not the first answer.
No, he is living as a leech on his wife's neck. It was right there in the OP.
No, he doesn't care to take care of 'that kid.' It was right there in the OP.
I didn't answer 'every marital problem,' I answered the OP using the information she provided. Stop with the drama queen hysterics.
It isn't the first answer - she's put up with this crap for more than a year. She stated right in the OP that she would have already divorced him. Did you even read the OP, evaluate the information, before you made your flippant comments?
Do you have kids, Uncle Bully? Have you personally dealt with a similar situation?
Stop the daycare! It is an unnecessary expense. You already have daddy daycare. He can whine all he wants but he's watching that kid all day. And he better have dinner waiting for you when you get home.
I tried that when my husband was doing the same thing. ONe day I came home from work, he was asleep on the sofa and she was (10 months old) crawling on the kitchen floor with a knife in her hand.
Another time I came home.. he was asleep.. she was in her crib and I almost had a h eart attack.. she was unresponsive at first and had a blanket totally wrapped around her entire head (5 months). I jerked the blanket off and shook her and she breathed and woke up. I thought she was dead at first.
It's not worth it to leave a child with a guy that won't watch them.
I tried that when my husband was doing the same thing. ONe day I came home from work, he was asleep on the sofa and she was (10 months old) crawling on the kitchen floor with a knife in her hand.
Another time I came home.. he was asleep.. she was in her crib and I almost had a h eart attack.. she was unresponsive at first and had a blanket totally wrapped around her entire head (5 months). I jerked the blanket off and shook her and she breathed and woke up. I thought she was dead at first.
It's not worth it to leave a child with a guy that won't watch them.
And this is EXACTLY why I said it was TERRIBLE advice to force a young child's care on a reluctant or unwilling person. Regardless of that person being the sperm donor - some guys just aren't interested in caring for their offspring.
I will ask this since no one else apparently will:
You've been with this guy for years.
You've been supporting this guy for years while he bumbled around in this business.
If I'm counting the months correctly, you got pregnant by him then married him.
While there is abuse o'plenty to heap on your worthless husband, I've got to ask you this question: What were you thinking up to this point? What made you think there would be any improvement? For example, you mentioned that you never learned how bad it was until after you got married. Well, why not? Did you not have any money discussions before then?
I mean if the guy has been a slug since the baby has come along, chances are pretty good that he was a slug before the baby came along.
I get that it takes a while to get a business going. But this is evidently not new behavior on his part. He was lazy then, and you didn't seem to mind.
This is why you never marry someone in the belief that you can change that person. You can't.
I will ask this since no one else apparently will:
You've been with this guy for years.
You've been supporting this guy for years while he bumbled around in this business.
If I'm counting the months correctly, you got pregnant by him then married him.
While there is abuse o'plenty to heap on your worthless husband, I've got to ask you this question: What were you thinking up to this point? What made you think there would be any improvement?
I mean if the guy has been a slug since the baby has come along, chances are pretty good that he was a slug before the baby came along.
I get that it takes a while to get a business going. But this is evidently not new behavior on his part. He was lazy then, and you didn't seem to mind.
This is why you never marry someone in the belief that you can change that person. You can't.
^^^ This is called accountability, and so many times in a relationship one person simply points the finger at the other taking no responsibility for their current relationship woes. And that goes both ways. This is a solid point, to basically look at yourself in the mirror and figure out what you did to get to the place you are at. Then maybe the answer of what to do next will be clearer...although in a relationship I think it's always muddy.
^^^ This is called accountability, and so many times in a relationship one person simply points the finger at the other taking no responsibility for their current relationship woes. And that goes both ways. This is a solid point, to basically look at yourself in the mirror and figure out what you did to get to the place you are at. Then maybe the answer of what to do next will be clearer...although in a relationship I think it's always muddy.
Exactly. Hey, when I started my business, I went two full years before I made the same amount of income as I did before quitting my job.
At the same, there was no question that I was working. Not only did I have something to show for it at the end of most days, but I always had a trickle of money coming in. And I always made sure that the house was in apple pie order when she got home from work.
But the OP didn't seem to look for those signs.
Any relationship is a partnership. It looks as if this guy never held up his end of the bargain, and she's only getting around to hold him accountable for it.
I tried that when my husband was doing the same thing. ONe day I came home from work, he was asleep on the sofa and she was (10 months old) crawling on the kitchen floor with a knife in her hand.
Another time I came home.. he was asleep.. she was in her crib and I almost had a h eart attack.. she was unresponsive at first and had a blanket totally wrapped around her entire head (5 months). I jerked the blanket off and shook her and she breathed and woke up. I thought she was dead at first.
It's not worth it to leave a child with a guy that won't watch them.
Has to be some mental or psychological defect. I can't imagine. I know I've fallen asleep when watching a baby when they're napping but never more than a few minutes.
That's some subhuman stuff there.
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