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If this has only been going on for a few weeks I'd give her a little space. She's dealing with some serious stuff, as you seem to understand. Stuff that you really can't help much with - you don't need to put up with "crap" but let her not be as into you for a while until she gets this handled.
If this has only been going on for a few weeks I'd give her a little space. She's dealing with some serious stuff, as you seem to understand. Stuff that you really can't help much with - you don't need to put up with "crap" but let her not be as into you for a while until she gets this handled.
Yes, I know she is. And I guess part of it, is that she just wasn't talking to me much about it or how she's feeling, so I don't know how to handle it. It has only been a few weeks, and like I said before that things were going very well and breaking up would seem to be the farthest thing from both our minds. I guess all I can do is give her space for now and let her know I'm here when she wants to talk.
Dating with a 9-month is not that odd believe it or not, how long should a woman wait? She split from the ex when she was 4 months pregnant.
Believe it or not some women wait years. They devote the first few years to nurturing and caring for the vulnerable new life they just created. That is their priority. It's a pretty good priority to have, you know...as a responsible parent of a helpless, needy newborn. I've even known men, who avoided dating completely, while they raised kids as single dads.
YMMV, obviously. But OP, I'd be concerned about those steroid shots. After 6 months, is the physical therapy she's been getting not helping with the pain? What's going on there? And her baby daddy, who according to you, wanted the baby, is actually going to court to weasel out of supporting his own spawn? Whom he wanted? Or lead her to believe that he wanted, to stop her from getting an abortion?
This stinks. It's amazing she manages to care for a child, struggle through her work week in spite of chronic pain, and hold everything together while being dragged into court. I guess what's concerning with regard to the relationship with you, is that she's not willing to open up and talk about it. Communication is the cornerstone of a relationship. You two don't have it. And when it's most needed, of course, is when the relationship is under strain for whatever reason.
Give her some space, then give her a call to ask how she's doing, her health, the court issue. After catching up on all that, ask her where she sees you in her picture.
Give her some space. Having a job, a baby, an accident, and an ex who doesn't want to pay is a lot of baggage to deal with. I am surprised she has had so much time for you anyway. Every new mother complains about not being able to get enough sleep and how stressed out she is and your gf seems to be the opposite - going out and concerts and stuff? Never heard of a newly mother living it up so much. Maybe now it is all coming down on her and stressing her out.
Believe it or not some women wait years. They devote the first few years to nurturing and caring for the vulnerable new life they just created. That is their priority. It's a pretty good priority to have, you know...as a responsible parent of a helpless, needy newborn. I've even known men, who avoided dating completely, while they raised kids as single dads.
YMMV, obviously. But OP, I'd be concerned about those steroid shots. After 6 months, is the physical therapy she's been getting not helping with the pain? What's going on there? And her baby daddy, who according to you, wanted the baby, is actually going to court to weasel out of supporting his own spawn? Whom he wanted? Or lead her to believe that he wanted, to stop her from getting an abortion?
This stinks. It's amazing she manages to care for a child, struggle through her work week in spite of chronic pain, and hold everything together while being dragged into court. I guess what's concerning with regard to the relationship with you, is that she's not willing to open up and talk about it. Communication is the cornerstone of a relationship. You two don't have it. And when it's most needed, of course, is when the relationship is under strain for whatever reason.
Give her some space, then give her a call to ask how she's doing, her health, the court issue. After catching up on all that, ask her where she sees you in her picture.
They share 50/50 custody, so she does have a lot of extra time when she's not with him, which we'd usually spend together a lot. She's a teacher and just got out for the summer at the beginning of the month, which is when she got hit with this subpoena. I think she's also letdown that he's insisted on keeping him in daycare during the summer, while she could be taking care of him (and really wants to) plus be saving money. I've heard all this and I told her I know how bad it sucks and have tried to support her, but yea, she doesn't want to talk much about it.
I am concerned the shots are still part of it, and the therapy hasn't done much for what was diagnosed as a strain, no structural damage. I sympathize there, as I've chronic neck pains for the better part of a decade.
I will give her space and let her know I care for her, and I'm here when she wants to talk. I don't think there's much else to do as I don't want to add stress to her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
Give her some space. Having a job, a baby, an accident, and an ex who doesn't want to pay is a lot of baggage to deal with. I am surprised she has had so much time for you anyway. Every new mother complains about not being able to get enough sleep and how stressed out she is and your gf seems to be the opposite - going out and concerts and stuff? Never heard of a newly mother living it up so much. Maybe now it is all coming down on her and stressing her out.
Maybe sit down and have a talk.
That's one of the reasons I was so impressed with her, I've dated single mother's before and know how tough it is. She handled everything with such grace an ease I was wowed. She's not bothered when he gets up in the night (she likes it lol), she never complained about stress. She'd invite me over for dinner and cook for me, when I'd insist not to add extra work for her. The nagging soreness and pain has be an issue, as it's kept her from working out which she did a lot of. But really, we're both home bodies and would hang out and watch movies or play scrabble most nights.
I'll let her come to me when she's ready to talk, doesn't seem like she's there yet.
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