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Let's put this one to bed, at least for now. So, female denizens of the Relationships board, how often are you hit on or approached going about your business? For this poll, we'll define hit on or approached as a sincere compliment or being asked out. Being yelled at from a car, catcalled, or leered at do not count (since that's not actually a polite interaction.) We'll leave OLD out of this as well, since the charge is that we are all approached every time we leave the house, several times a day.
Feel free to expand on when this happens--at work, on the bus, out with friends, etc.
(and yes, I did make the poll anonymous, so that dudes could mess the results if they felt like it. Do the right thing, people. For science. )
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 07-07-2018 at 11:21 AM..
the guys who say this seem to be universally picturing party girls at meat market nightclubs--do those women get approached all the time? Yes, of course. Do women who work at public-facing customer service jobs get hit on? Yes, they do.
They're not seeing the regular, everyday women, who maybe don't ever go to nightclubs, who are not approached by dozens of men as they navigate their days in the office, walking their dogs, running errands, going to yoga and book club, even at happy hour. It just doesn't happen to the extent they say it does.
OMG! When I was working as an airline ticket agent it was a male rich environment. Lol
Working at an international airport was like living in a small city. Passengers hit on you, co-workers, guys who worked for other airlines, airport cops, city workers..... We had flight benefits and I used them as much as possible. I traveled with single friends. The Bahamas, Hawaii, Jamaica, Cuba, Belize, Japan, Europe... Guys everywhere!
Now I live a few blocks from and frequent the beach. I surf 3-4 times a week at my beach or beaches up and down the coast. Lots of beach goers/surfer guys who are on the prowl. They seem to think that a girl in a bikini is a soft target... she's already half naked!
A fellow employee at the large university where I work hit on me in a playful manner a couple of years ago. Aside from occasional flirtation from my ex-boyfriend (who is currently seeing another woman, I don't recall (or haven't noticed?) any incidents since then that don't fall under the categorization of leering/catcalling.
It's been different at different ages. But when I was young and hot I might get hit on, then a month later get hit on. Or two months later. Or twice in a week, then not for three months. or not at all for 6 months or longer. Getting hit on happened but it was really random. Even hot, outgoing, etc. it was NEVER this vision of constantly having multiple options like some claim here. It was, randomly, some guy panting down my blouse and making me feel gross. Often, a much older dude. Once in a great while it was sincere and polite and I had a few dates that way.
Keep in mind this was years ago when people did approach in person. It was just more normal then.
Now granted, I never went to clubs (ugh), I have gone to bars like 10 times in my entire life and always with a group, and I didn't work in an industry that included rando customers and a reputation for women getting hit on by customers.
In my 30s, I met and married my husband and wearing a ring, I rarely got hit on. It might happen once in a year or less than that. I am now 50 and will once in a blue moon get a sincere compliment but it isn't the tongue-out kind of thing. Thank God.
It has been so random even in my younger years that there was no way I could answer the poll. But I get the point and it is accurate. Barring either winning the genetic lottery, dressing like a *****, clubbing or being in some work environments, no, most of us do not have "constant options" or anything even close.
For this poll, we'll define hit on or approached as a sincere compliment or being asked out.
A sincere compliment? "Really nice job on that powerpoint presentation, you really touched on all the important elements. I can tell you put a lot of time and effort into that." That's being hit on? Uh, no. You can't determine a person's internal motivation from a sincere compliment, unless of course you're only interested in making assumptions.
I wouldn't necessarily consider a compliment being hit on. I mean, a few months ago a guy told me I had nice hair in the grocery store. I said thank you and went about my shopping. Had he followed up with any conversation, I might have considered it being hit on, but not the compliment in and of itself.
I don't give off a really approachable vibe. I was a very loyal wife, so my walls were built so high, it's still habit not to be unguarded out and about.
Plus, I am older now, and we're pretty much invisible.
I am almost 60, so of course I'm likely not going to get "hit on" ever again, unless I move to The Villages or find myself in an interesting old folks home.
But I did not when I was younger, and I've written about that on here before. No one has apparently ever looked at me and thought, "Gee, I'd like to ask her for a date". I had no dating experience as a teenager; as a matter of fact, I never held hands with a "boy" until I was in my 40s and already divorced (my ex was not affectionate that way.)
I spent my life working in the engineering industry, a male-dominated field. I was never once asked out or shown any interest by any of my coworkers. I was everybody's friend, but not considered dating material.
My only options ever, which I discovered in my late teens/early 20s, were guys at a bar. Alkies are not as picky because they are looking more for someone to take care of them then they are worried about having the hot chick on their arm to show off to their friends, although some do want both. But I found that men who hung out in bars did not mind that I was too tall or not very pretty. And I married one. I don't recommend that anyone follow my path.
I worked in a NYC neighborhood when I was young that at that time was full of porn shops, drug dealers, and pimps, and one of them once passed me and turned around and said, "You have a nice body. Face ain't much, but you have a nice body."
I'm thinking that some of the guys on here might consider that to have been one of my "options".
I have some friends who could be considered female players who often talk about how much they get hit on and all the creepers they encounter. They are good looking but I think it has more to do with their flirtatious personalities than just their looks.
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