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I do for one. Not friended or connected to the others.
Same here. And in his case, we communicate through iMessage or Skype, since neither of us are into IG, SC, etc. He's still a friend, and one I can count on. I don't KIT with other exes, including my ex hub.
I’m friends on social media with the only girlfriend I ever had mainly because we have a load of mutual friends and I don’t want to alienate myself from them. Otherwise the day we broke up, I’d unfriend and block an ex immediately.
How would unfriending your ex alienate you from the other people?
What is there to gain in following an ex on social media? I dont see how this can improve ones life? Do you? If so, give me some insight.
Some people get along fine with the exes they follow on social media. I have at least a half dozen, maybe more, guys I either dated briefly, dated long-term, was engaged to... and even one I was married to (he died a couple of years ago, though) in my FB friends list, on Instagram, etc.
I have zero problems with this sort of thing because we all still get along and I wish them the best... and they me.
Now, there are a few people I have dated in the past where it did not exactly end well and we are not following one another on social media or anywhere else, really.
And, that's fine, too.
I think it varies. If you are following someone because you are still pining away for them, that's a bad life decision right there.
If you are following them because you like that person even though your relationship has ended and you two get along, why not?
I do not see the harm.
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I think I'm in the tail end of Gen X rather than Millennial, but I'll take a stab at the topic anyways.
It depends on things. What kind of ex?
The boys I slept with in high school, whether they were the few boyfriends or the many FWB that I had, if I can remember their full names I will try to find them on social media out of idle curiosity. Most of them, I thought they were pretty cool people in high school, and they grew up to be utterly underwhelming adults. Like how this one guy was so awesome, he was gorgeous, and ninja-like and I was just over the moon about him when I was 15...now he's lost all his beautiful long hair and he drives the Frito Lay truck. I don't need to talk to them necessarily. I've not had any success reigniting friendship with any of these people, I've gone too far in my own life, from that region, that town, the world so many of them still seem to live in. I feel like I have left them far behind. But it's interesting just like some people go to high school reunions, right? Same spirit.
Then there is The Ex. I unfriended and blocked him on social media. Because he is crazy, because he likes to start drama. Because I don't need him lurking and looking to see what I am up to, nor taking something I post as a joke and trying to ignite some stupid political argument over it. He annoys me. I am not on Facebook to be annoyed. That relationship crashed and burned at the end, and those kinds of people with bad juju, one need not keep on the radar.
Then there are the more recent ones since the breakup. I don't feel I parted ways dramatically or badly with any of them. I'm friends with the ones that I am still...friends with. But no need for any "stalking." Except one. The fling I wish I could have kept sleeping with occasionally (sort of...kind of...not really I guess.) He's one where I know in my brain he is/was a bad idea and yet I enjoyed him so much that I occasionally feel a twinge. So yes, I do a teensy bit of occasional stalking there. But I'm more likely to find a video of him fronting he local band he used to sing and play bass with, when I want to indulge those feels, than I am to stalk his FB. Why do I do that? The same reason people watch movies that make them cry, I figure. Poke button, feel feels. Le sigh. Move on. I don't think it's a big deal. I do not do any digging to find out what he's up to these days, I respect his privacy and I'm not that kind of nosy. But in a way it helps me monitor my "getting over" him because as time passes, thinking of him affects me less and less.
Following up on my last post. I'm talking about following but not caring what they post. I don't do any stalking. Call it whatever you want. I left off on good terms in the past. We all go separate ways and we're all doing our own thing. Now I consider it an acquaintance status. I don't know if everyone gets the strange point of this all, but I do know that a lot of people do the same thing. Unless you aren't on social media or you had a past relationship that didn't end well.. It's understood on those terms.
Following up on my last post. I'm talking about following but not caring what they post. I don't do any stalking. Call it whatever you want. I left off on good terms in the past. We all go separate ways and we're all doing our own thing. Now I consider it an acquaintance status. I don't know if everyone gets the strange point of this all, but I do know that a lot of people do the same thing. Unless you aren't on social media or you had a past relationship that didn't end well.. It's understood on those terms.
Yeah, to me that's not weird. I don't think every relationship has to end with hurt feelings, hostility, and drama. Some do, but not all have to. Those you still like and respect as people, you just don't work as a couple, I see no reason not to go on being "friends" on social media. How much of a real friendship is there, is often debatable. Most such people I don't make much effort to spend real time with, they end up being more, like you say, acquaintances.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CBeisbol
How would unfriending your ex alienate you from the other people?
Did you miss the part about the load of mutual friends? If I unfriend her, it don’t look good to them and it will make it seem like I just discarded her, especially since most of our mutual friends are women.
There's a difference between communicating with an ex and "following" them. Following is useless and creepy.
I don't follow "ex's" because I'm married now, but every once in a while I get bored and look up an ex to see what they're doing. A while back I looked up an old boyfriend and found out he committed suicide and apparently staged it to look like a murder, because he had been exposed on TV and in the news as a military faker. (Claimed to be an ex Navy seal with presidential commendations, etcetera). It was quite sad. It helped me understand part of the reasons why I'd been single for so long, though. It's like putting together the puzzle of your past. I had suspected this person of lying to me about several things, back when we were dating.
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load of mutual friends and I don’t want to alienate myself from them. Otherwise the day we broke up, I’d unfriend and block an ex immediately.
If I unfriend her, it don’t look good to them and it will make it seem like I just discarded her, especially since most of our mutual friends are women. 
