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Well maybe they don't want to go quickly with you, but it does happen. (shrug)
Men are also willing to "wait around" which is why I hear more about men being in the "friend zone" than women. The women often feed the men lines about it not being the right time, or they are not ready for a relationship, and then in the next second they are with some other dude.
I was pretty much a confirmed bachelorette and always made sure to let the guys I accepted a date know that I wasn’t interested in a relationship.... because I wasn’t. I really wasn’t looking for a long term partner, and all of a sudden someone from my past rpopped back up and all bets were off! I was gobsmacked!
S*** happens! I wasn’t feeding those guys a line. Truth be told.. I guess I was feeding myself a line ( about not wanting a committed relationship). Lol
My only excuse is ... I am human.
I was pretty much a confirmed bachelorette and always made sure to let the guys I accepted a date know that I wasn’t interested in a relationship.... because I wasn’t. I really wasn’t looking for a long term partner, and all of a sudden someone from my past rpopped back up and all bets were off! I was gobsmacked!
S*** happens! I wasn’t feeding those guys a line. Truth be told.. I guess I was feeding myself a line ( about not wanting a committed relationship). Lol
My only excuse is ... I am human.
I wasn't referring to you. Your example doesn't mean that what I said doesn't happen. I just go by what people that I've interacted with tell me. Personally, I don't believe a lot of what the manosphere says is 100% accurate. But I do believe that people are not to hold their breath when someone says 'not ready'. It does no good to try to get water from an empty cup.
You may have not been feeding these guys a line, and I believe you, I give you the benefit of the doubt, I have no reason not to believe you. That doesn't mean that it doesn't happen.
I don't try to force a relationship or hang around a woman "as a friend" with the hopes of her eventually "realizing" that I am the right man for her. For one thing, I might not be the right man for her. That doesn't mean that it never happens. It just means that I don't do that.
While I don't subscribe to the 'manosphere', the take away I get from it is have some self respect. Life is not a romantic comedy. If someone is not into you right now, that person is not into you, and there is a chance that the person will not "come around". Also, even if the person who wasn't ready for a relationship was considering you for a relationship, feelings change. Maybe like you said, it's not necessarily feeding a line. The person truly wanted a relationship with the other person and just wasn't ready, but then somewhere along the way met someone else (Oh don't get me started because I can go for days). However, it does no good to show up in various places to "convince" her. And it won't do you any good to sit around waiting while you're all lonely, especially if the person you are waiting for is dating others.
I'm only sharing my observations. That's all I can do. I can't say you are wrong or I don't believe you. I don't know your life.
I don't know, maybe all of these dudes "in the friend zone" are just making things up and pulling things out of their John Brown hind parts because they are bored. I don't really see why they'd do that, but if they are, then it is no wonder they can't get a girlfriend (Yes, I know women get put in the friend zone, too).
And then you got to think about the possibility of retribution for rejection, and so on and so on... (That's a different topic altogether)
In the end, if a person tells you s(he)'s not ready for a relationship, it may do you no good to wait on that person. Play the field, meet others, and maybe you'll find someone who can be there in the way you want.
I mean, you can wait, but it can go either way. (shrug)
Last edited by TJenkins602; 11-30-2018 at 02:21 PM..
I wasn't referring to you. Your example doesn't mean that what I said doesn't happen. I just go by what people that I've interacted with tell me. Personally, I don't believe a lot of what the manosphere says is 100% accurate. But I do believe that people are not to hold their breath when someone says 'not ready'. It does no good to try to get water from an empty cup.
You may have not been feeding these guys a line, and I believe you, I give you the benefit of the doubt, I have no reason not to believe you. That doesn't mean that it doesn't happen.
I don't try to force a relationship or hang around a woman "as a friend" with the hopes of her eventually "realizing" that I am the right man for her. For one thing, I might not be the right man for her. That doesn't mean that it never happens. It just means that I don't do that.
While I don't subscribe to the 'manosphere', the take away I get from it is have some self respect. Life is not a romantic comedy. If someone is not into you right now, that person is not into you, and there is a chance that the person will not "come around". Also, even if the person who wasn't ready for a relationship was considering you for a relationship, feelings change. Maybe like you said, it's not necessarily feeding a line. The person truly wanted a relationship with the other person and just wasn't ready, but then somewhere along the way met someone else (Oh don't get me started because I can go for days). However, it does no good to show up in various places to "convince" her. And it won't do you any good to sit around waiting while you're all lonely, especially if the person you are waiting for is dating others.
I'm only sharing my observations. That's all I can do. I can't say you are wrong or I don't believe you. I don't know your life.
I don't know, maybe all of these dudes "in the friend zone" are just making things up and pulling things out of their John Brown hind parts because they are bored. I don't really see why they'd do that, but if they are, then it is no wonder they can't get a girlfriend (Yes, I know women get put in the friend zone, too).
And then you got to think about the possibility of retribution for rejection, and so on and so on... (That's a different topic altogether)
In the end, if a person tells you s(he)'s not ready for a relationship, it may do you no good to wait on that person. Play the field, meet others, and maybe you'll find someone who can be there in the way you want.
I mean, you can wait, but it can go either way. (shrug)
@TJenkins602 - I had a longtime on-line female friend tell me once, that while immediate attraction is nice for a woman, as she gets to know a man, her attraction builds from there. So I'm going to assume (say, for example) if a woman isn't into a guy, initially or right off the bat...it can change as she gets to know him.
I was pretty much a confirmed bachelorette and always made sure to let the guys I accepted a date know that I wasn’t interested in a relationship.... because I wasn’t. I really wasn’t looking for a long term partner, and all of a sudden someone from my past rpopped back up and all bets were off! I was gobsmacked!
S*** happens! I wasn’t feeding those guys a line. Truth be told.. I guess I was feeding myself a line ( about not wanting a committed relationship). Lol
My only excuse is ... I am human.
Yep this proves T Jenkin's point. I heard of a LOT of situations where people have said "I'm not looking for anything, right now...and not so long after that they find an old friend of the opposite sex (likely a previous orbiter or...the timing wasn't right), from the past, that they wind up with.
A lot of how-we-mets are baffling, because their new boyfriend was someone they had known for a long time. That they friendzoned, maybe?
@TJenkins602 - I had a longtime on-line female friend tell me once, that while immediate attraction is nice for a woman, as she gets to know a man, her attraction builds from there. So I'm going to assume (say, for example) if a woman isn't into a guy, initially or right off the bat...it can change as she gets to know him.
It can, and does... As a matter of fact, one woman who seemed immediately attracted to me, I wasn't attracted to her and I didn't see myself being attracted to her. Then attraction started growing over a couple of years and I found myself having a crush, but by that time, she moved her attention to other men, so...
Now, I'm left empty handed.
Don't hold your breath on a woman who rejects you. You can be busy trying to turn a no into a yes or waiting in the hopes the no will change into a yes while there is a yes somewhere around close by.
Last edited by TJenkins602; 12-11-2018 at 06:57 AM..
I think it comes down to the attraction, if you are not really totally into changing from platonic to sex-don't. If you are then it seems it would be great or fun because that is the whole point right? Your changing the relationship based on changed feelings and urges, it should happen naturally.
I dunno though for younger people because I hear there are weird expectations because boys/young men are learning about how to treat a woman by watching porn!? That is a mistake and so if someone is that mistaken I guess it could be very awkward.
I just think the couple should take it slow or fast as the night goes and just experiment and lead up to it and be playful. It does not even have to turn into sex immediately but lead up to it or several dates and progressive intimacy.
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