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So...last night I was talking to my girlfriend. She was talking to one of her 'guy friends' (ears perked up when she said this b/c I don't believe in girls having guy friends). Anyway, she was telling me how certain things on her right side are bigger than her left, like her right big toe is bigger than her left big toe and so forth. I'm like, ok, whatever. So she continues and she says that her right breast is bigger than her left. I immediately began asking myself if this is the exact convo that she had w/her guy friend, because at the end she goes "he was making jokes about it so I told him I bet he has a bigger testicle."
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry? When was it ok for these types of convos to happen? I just told her I gotta go and that was the end of it. She sent me a text a good morning text like she does every day, and my responses were all one word answers. So she asks if I was mad, and I'm like no. But deep down I was pissed but I didn't want to bring it up b/c it would be the 2nd disagreement we've had in about a week.
So I sent her a text a few minutes ago basically telling her a) I felt uncomfortable, b) those types of convos are going to be with me or not at all, I don't need to think about the fact that a dude knows you have a bigger breast than the other and c) next time a convo like that comes up, ask yourself how would she feel if I had the exact same convo w/a chick she didn't know.
Am I wrong here? A sick part of me applauds her for telling me she had this convo, but at the same time should I be concerned that she's having these types a convos with other guys...that I don't even know? I'm a guy, I know how guys think, I know what guys want, you have convos like that and you're letting him in. I don't control women, she's a grown women, but I felt the need to put my foot down in this situation.
She described the guy as not being attractive but cool to talk to. Reassuring? No, you had an awkward convo with him anyway.
My sister claims I lack confidence which is why it got to me. No. I have all the confidence in the world, she just shouldn't be talking about her breasts to any guy but me. Period.
So...last night I was talking to my girlfriend. She was talking to one of her 'guy friends' (ears perked up when she said this b/c I don't believe in girls having guy friends).
Oh, boy.
I am male and all my friends are female. Just friends. You wouldn't believe the conversations we have had. Heck, one of them regularly changes her clothes in front of me...bra and all...when she comes to my house for her kid after work. My wife doesn't care one bit, and neither do I.
You do not own your girlfriend and the conversations she chooses to have. This all sounds like YOUR problem.
So when she told another dude to go check his testicles to see if one is bigger than the other, I'm just suppose to let it go and pretend it doesn't bother me?
Edit: I'm not suggesting, in any way, that she shouldn't have guy friends by the way. Honestly, it was probably best she didn't tell me.
So...last night I was talking to my girlfriend. She was talking to one of her 'guy friends' (ears perked up when she said this b/c I don't believe in girls having guy friends). Anyway, she was telling me how certain things on her right side are bigger than her left, like her right big toe is bigger than her left big toe and so forth. I'm like, ok, whatever. So she continues and she says that her right breast is bigger than her left. I immediately began asking myself if this is the exact convo that she had w/her guy friend, because at the end she goes "he was making jokes about it so I told him I bet he has a bigger testicle."
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry? When was it ok for these types of convos to happen? I just told her I gotta go and that was the end of it. She sent me a text a good morning text like she does every day, and my responses were all one word answers. So she asks if I was mad, and I'm like no. But deep down I was pissed but I didn't want to bring it up b/c it would be the 2nd disagreement we've had in about a week.
So I sent her a text a few minutes ago basically telling her a) I felt uncomfortable, b) those types of convos are going to be with me or not at all, I don't need to think about the fact that a dude knows you have a bigger breast than the other and c) next time a convo like that comes up, ask yourself how would she feel if I had the exact same convo w/a chick she didn't know.
Am I wrong here? A sick part of me applauds her for telling me she had this convo, but at the same time should I be concerned that she's having these types a convos with other guys...that I don't even know? I'm a guy, I know how guys think, I know what guys want, you have convos like that and you're letting him in. I don't control women, she's a grown women, but I felt the need to put my foot down in this situation.
She described the guy as not being attractive but cool to talk to. Reassuring? No, you had an awkward convo with him anyway.
My sister claims I lack confidence which is why it got to me. No. I have all the confidence in the world, she just shouldn't be talking about her breasts to any guy but me. Period.
Well, I would probably agree up to a point. I'm not sure why it's necessary to have that kind of conversation.
BUT, you are apparently a total control freak, based on the text I highlighted. First, unless this is some country where the women wear shadors and burqas women are going to have male friends. Your girlfriend having a conversation with a guy isn't a prelude to her disappearing for a half hour while she has a humpalumpadingdong. And as far as putting your foot down, why don't you use that exact phrase with her and see how long your relationship lasts after that.
The more appropriate way to handle it? Something like this: "Hey. I'm not some uber-jealous type here [Even though this is apparently a bald-faced lie], but I feel weird about your having that kind of conversation with a guy. I know it's innocent and you were joking, but I'm kind of old-fashioned in that regard." And if she tells you to jump in the lake, then you need to really decide what to do next.
So when she told another dude to go check his testicles to see if one is bigger than the other, I'm just suppose to let it go and pretend it doesn't bother me?
No of course not DomRep - because it DOES bother you! Whereas this convo WOULDN'T bother, for example, Sonata36, or my husband, basically you are looking for someone who won't have a conversation like this with anyone but you. I make no judgement as to whether or not that is "right" or "wrong" - but it sounds like you two are not compatible in what you each consider "off limits" - that's all.
I have had similar conversations with my male friends and when I relay it to my husband he gets a good chuckle. You don't have that type of relationship with your girlfriend - but it sounds like that is the type of openness she would find normal.
Sonata36...I think there's a BIG difference between a married man and his wife having friends, than there is for a man who's only just building a relationship...I tend to agree with DomRep.....DomRep,..if I were you I would definately feel put out, and would see it as a sign that she's not into being exclusive with you...and is keeping other options open.
So...last night I was talking to my girlfriend. She was talking to one of her 'guy friends' (ears perked up when she said this b/c I don't believe in girls having guy friends). Anyway, she was telling me how certain things on her right side are bigger than her left, like her right big toe is bigger than her left big toe and so forth. I'm like, ok, whatever. So she continues and she says that her right breast is bigger than her left. I immediately began asking myself if this is the exact convo that she had w/her guy friend, because at the end she goes "he was making jokes about it so I told him I bet he has a bigger testicle."
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry? When was it ok for these types of convos to happen? I just told her I gotta go and that was the end of it. She sent me a text a good morning text like she does every day, and my responses were all one word answers. So she asks if I was mad, and I'm like no. But deep down I was pissed but I didn't want to bring it up b/c it would be the 2nd disagreement we've had in about a week.
So I sent her a text a few minutes ago basically telling her a) I felt uncomfortable, b) those types of convos are going to be with me or not at all, I don't need to think about the fact that a dude knows you have a bigger breast than the other and c) next time a convo like that comes up, ask yourself how would she feel if I had the exact same convo w/a chick she didn't know.
Am I wrong here?A sick part of me applauds her for telling me she had this convo, but at the same time should I be concerned that she's having these types a convos with other guys...that I don't even know? I'm a guy, I know how guys think, I know what guys want, you have convos like that and you're letting him in. I don't control women, she's a grown women, but I felt the need to put my foot down in this situation.
She described the guy as not being attractive but cool to talk to. Reassuring? No, you had an awkward convo with him anyway.
My sister claims I lack confidence which is why it got to me. No.I have all the confidence in the world, she just shouldn't be talking about her breasts to any guy but me. Period.
The parts in blue above are what you tell yourself about yourself. The parts in red make the parts in blue into lies.
Yes. Yes, you are.
Your sister is right. You *do* lack confidence, and you're acting jealous about the conversation your girlfriend had with the other guy. Your putting your foot down *is* trying to control her; you're demanding that she censor herself so that you feel OK, so that you don't have to think about another guy knowing that she has one breast larger than the other. But now he knows. And you can't unring that bell. (Side note: lots of women have one breast that's slightly larger than the other. It's not exactly a secret.)
First, when she asked you if you were mad, you lied and said no. You knew you were mad. A confident man would have admitted that he was mad when she asked.
Second, you don't have the right to tell her what conversations she can have, or with whom. Nor are you in a position to monitor the conversations she has. It's curious that you refer to the part of you that applauded her for having the conversation as "sick".
Right now, your best move is to start getting really honest with yourself about why you were bothered by her conversation, and what you think laying down some law is really meant to achieve here. One or two more of these tantrums of yours, and she'll be gone, if she has any self-respect. Is that what you want? It's up to you.
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