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Now, let's flip-flop the scenario. What about first-time sex with someone you've been friends with for a good while, like more than a year? That is, after you had a conversation about becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, and went on some real dates. Not a drunken encounter with each other (which likens it to a casual hook-up), but relationship-type sex.
Would the first-time sex feel at least a little bit awkward? I mean, even if you harbored latent feelings, you're not used to seeing each other in that capacity. You've never seen each other naked; at the minimum, in a swimsuit, if you went swimming together. And you never did anything beyond friendly hugs. So a sudden paradigm shift gotta trigger some awkwardness. Or maybe not.
Now, let's flip-flop the scenario. What about first-time sex with someone you've been friends with for a good while, like more than a year? That is, after you had a conversation about becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, and went on some real dates. Not a drunken encounter with each other (which likens it to a casual hook-up), but relationship-type sex.
Would the first-time sex feel at least a little bit awkward? I mean, even if you harbored latent feelings, you're not used to seeing each other in that capacity. You've never seen each other naked; at the minimum, in a swimsuit, if you went swimming together. And you never did anything beyond friendly hugs. So a sudden paradigm shift gotta trigger some awkwardness. Or maybe not.
Let's see what people have to say!
I think it depends on the nature of the friendship. I have one friend that I've known for years, and if me and her would've become more than friends now and had sex, it would just feel awkward.
Personally I think that is even more awkward than having with a stranger that you have GOOD sexual compatibility with, but that is me
I think how the OP phrased it, "Of seeing each other in that capacity" nailed it
I have had sex with a couple people who were "friends" first, and it never led to anything good
Even?
I'd say it is a lot more awkward for some reason. At least with the stranger, you have good sexual compatibility with...but...precautions.
With a friend, it is a lot more likely that you have become "family". It could feel very awkward. But the major factor is the type of friendship you have. If the friendship is extremely platonic (as in no physical contact, maybe a hug but every once in a blue moon), then taking it to that level could be extremely awkward (to me). I feel awkward just thinking about it. My friend told me about a dream she had of me, and she told me that it felt rather...uncomfortable (not the good kind). If ever I think about it, I get a rather uneasy feeling.
All of my previous GF's were friends first and many of us were intimate with each other... so no... I can't say it was ever awkward.
That is what I am saying. This whole "she is my platonic friend and I could never" yeah that isn't really a thing with any person I have ever met. If there is attraction and you guys give into sexual desires, it usually is pretty fun because there is an awesome story to tell afterwards and you already know each other so it can be a blast.
It's only awkward for people who are jealous or weird if we are being honest.
I'd say it is a lot more awkward for some reason. At least with the stranger, you have good sexual compatibility with...but...precautions.
With a friend, it is a lot more likely that you have become "family". It could feel very awkward. But the major factor is the type of friendship you have. If the friendship is extremely platonic (as in no physical contact, maybe a hug but every once in a blue moon), then taking it to that level could be extremely awkward (to me). I feel awkward just thinking about it. My friend told me about a dream she had of me, and she told me that it felt rather...uncomfortable (not the good kind). If ever I think about it, I get a rather uneasy feeling.
You're right, NOT even, and I agree it makes me kinda cringe just thinking about it
Call me all the names in the book, but I'd still rather with a hot stranger any day
This actually happened to me with a colleague I had been friends with for 4-5 years on two different jobs. I left the second company and we got together and started dating. Sex wasn't awkward, we were laughing and having too good a time! We spent a few/several years together and had quite a few good times.
BTW we never messed around at work. We were just BFFs at work. We did lunches often but paid our own tabs and never kissed or anything until after I left the last job we had shared.
That is what I am saying. This whole "she is my platonic friend and I could never" yeah that isn't really a thing with any person I have ever met. If there is attraction and you guys give into sexual desires, it usually is pretty fun because there is an awesome story to tell afterwards and you already know each other so it can be a blast.
It's only awkward for people who are jealous or weird if we are being honest.
However not everyone has the same views on sexuality.... I'm very open and so are most of my friends. I would expect that for others that place sexuality on such high pedestal with equally high expectations it would be awkward.
Much like relationships (not just GF/BF but all sorts) when they end it hurts often because one overestimates one's role in another person's life.... with sex, its awkwardness.
I don't expect everyone to share my views on sexuality... but I respect everyone's.
On the other hand, I have one friend that we've become close over the years. She is arguably the hottest (model attractive gets hit on a lot) most sexual person I have ever met in my life.... bisexual.. highly adventurous etc.. We hang out a bit, just the two of us.... yet we remain platonic friends.... somehow we are both ok with that.... yes really honest truth. We get mistaken for a couple a lot! For the life of me, I can't explain that.... but whatever it is... I like it just the way it is and I hope she does too. Go figure...
What would be awkward for me? Sex with an exGF of mine who is my closest and dearest friend for the past two decades... I think that's because we have "history" and in a way never really got over each other (long story).
Last edited by usayit; 11-26-2018 at 08:14 PM..
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