Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I find that it's really not necessary to talk nuts and bolts to gauge a person's 'adventurousness.' If you know what to look for, you can conclude whether someone is open minded in the bedroom from the person's demeanor and behavior. Heck, even just from watching what flavor of ice cream they pick, or are willing to try.
Please - this is akin to the old chestnut about a hiring manager taking the candidate out to lunch for the job interview and basing their decision on whether the person salted their food before tasting it! Utterly lazy and very prone to mistakes - of course you never KNOW you're mistaken because you've already discarded them.
The topic of kink is a difficult one, but being female I find that most men I've dated are pretty open to trying anything, so I have never felt the need to discuss it too early in a relationship. Also as a female I detest when the topic of sex arises early into a new relationship simply because once its discussed the majority of men have a one track mind and conversations seem to always go back to that of sex and all things sex related. Its the by far the quickest way for me to lose interest. This doesn't really help OP, so my advice would be, wait for an opening so it can be discussed further, don't forget that you are still getting to know each other so don't be too focused on the sex. If you are OLD, you can write that you're looking for an open minded girl.
Or how do you talk about it ? This is sooo awkward !
I like playing tie up, sure its pretty much mainstream now but I feel totally awkward typing this in even with the anonymity of the internet. I was very lucky that past partners were into it too, in fact with one we used to always argue about whos turn it was.
We are supposed to keep it PG 13 lets try, the topic is about telling a partner your kinks and how to go about it cause I think its important cause the relationship won't work if one person wants to engage in activity and the other doesn't that will just lead to resentments.
The sooner the better. Hey, Bill..... How do you feel about role playing?
Tying up is pretty minor as far as kinks go, but the more important your kink is to you, the sooner you should address it. You don't want to have a lot of time invested before running into something that is a deal breaker, or that if you didn't get would leave you unfullfilled.
Some would say that if you are ready to have sex with someone you should be able to talk about it. Starting some conversations may be awkward, but once a topic is introduced it usually becomes pretty easy. A mature person knows to address things on a timely matter. Seriously, what do you have to lose? Only someone that isn't going to be sexually compatible.
I like playing tie up, sure its pretty much mainstream now but I feel totally awkward typing this in even with the anonymity of the internet. I was very lucky that past partners were into it too, in fact with one we used to always argue about whos turn it was.
A large percentage of people are open to bondage play. I agree, it's so mainstream I wouldn't even consider it "kinky". LOL to me, "kinky" is usually something a bit crazier than that, but we all have our perspective.
It depends on how hardcore you want to get with it, of course. But if you're just looking for some fun, lighthearted, generally pain-free bondage play, I don't think you should have very much trouble.
As far as when you should bring it up.... I'd say when you start to talk about or consider sex in general. Don't make it a weird thing or make a big deal about it. Just bring it up as one of the sexy things you want to do to the person when you're teasing each other and stuff. Don't make a big deal and sit the person down to "have a talk" about it or anything like that. Keep it lighthearted and fun, because that's what sex is about!
If it's something you really can't do without, mention it as soon as the topic of sex comes up even if you have to allude to it some way.
I would gather many couples do have one-sided non-negotiables which they can either work around or even discuss after the relationship is better established.
But if something is "Never, no way" or "I absolutely need" then sooner than later.
I agree with this, If it's essential, bring it up immediately. Otherwise, wait.
I've had only one relationship in that category and he introduced variations the second time we were together. Without going into details, I'd rate it kinkier that tie-ups but nothing that was un-hygienic or inflicted pain. Some of it I was neutral about; the rest I found a turn-on. Neither of my two subsequent relationships included those variations but it was fun with the guy who really enjoyed it.
I keed, I keed! The earlier the better, though. You could just try to meet on FetLife if it wasn't completely worthless and full of couples and (mainly) female doms looking for a buck... the Donald Trumps of the kink world.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The earlier the better, though. You could just try to meet on FetLife if it wasn't completely worthless and full of couples and (mainly) female doms looking for a buck... the Donald Trumps of the kink world.
