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But he’s so handsome. Not handsome enough that he’s going to make it as an actor, but handsome enough that it’s hard for me to just write him off completely without investigating the situation a little bit further.
Handsome doesn't = successful actor. As for your opinion about his prospects, are you a casting director?
Handsome doesn't = best partner or successful relationship. There's a bit more to it than that!
I read a whole lot of "what I want/expect/demand" and nothing about a potential partnership made up of two people. Didn't hear anything about mutual respect, cooperation, admiration, investment, or even much about caring for anyone other than the I. Just a list of suspicions and judgments. Poor guy. Just leave him alone OP. Be satisfied if maybe someday you can admit "I knew him when...."
Last edited by Parnassia; 01-22-2019 at 06:37 PM..
But he’s so handsome. Not handsome enough that he’s going to make it as an actor, but handsome enough that it’s hard for me to just write him off completely without investigating the situation a little bit further.
Just have sex with him. Either use protection or the pill or both. FWB.
When an uglier but stable man comes along who you connect with dump the handsome guy. Or just keep having sex with him while you date the uglier stable guy who pays for everything the boytoy can't.
I recently started communicating with a man in his early 30s. He told me that he makes short films and he showed me some of them from his YouTube channel. He's an aspiring actor. However in the meantime, he makes very little money at his day job and lives with his parents. During our first conversation, the first words out of his mouth to me were that he is poor. This concerns me. I don't really require men that I date to make a certain amount of money, but I'm used to dating men who can at least afford to live on their own. Also, I happen to make a good amount of money at my job. I'm not rich, but I can't relate to people who have to worry about money since I don't. Also, I don't think he has a chance of ever making it as an actor. I would understand more if he had a normal career that just didn't pay much, but the fact that he has this unrealistic goal of becoming an actor is kind of crazy to me. But aside from that, I did enjoy our conversation, I think he sounds like an interesting person, and I do find him physically attractive. But as long as he's poor, I don't think that he is boyfriend material.
So I'm just wondering, should I go out with him anyway and try to get to know him even though I'd be hesitant to have a relationship with him because I would never want to be in the position of having to financially support a man? I feel like maybe we could be friends. Not sexual friends though because I wouldn't want to risk getting pregnant by a poor guy. But I'd let him kiss me, maybe. What do you think? Am I wasting my time here?
Shame on you. Please do not inflict yourself on him.
But he’s so handsome. Not handsome enough that he’s going to make it as an actor, but handsome enough that it’s hard for me to just write him off completely without investigating the situation a little bit further.
You don't have to be handsome to make it as an actor. Dustin Hoffman has been one of the most successful and popular actors of all time, and he's pretty average, looks-wise, plus--he's short. Acting is about acting skill.
But you don't seem to respect him, so why bother? And you may be right about him. But the fact that he's put all his eggs in this one basket, and never got any marketable career skills (does he even have higher education?), while banking on an iffy career like acting, says something about him.
Going out with a guy you don't respect and have no interest in for the long term, just because you find him good-looking, is a waste of time, and not very considerate of his feelings. How would you like it, if someone went out on a string of dates with you, just because they found you nice to look at, but dumped you when someone more to their liking came along?
You don't have to be handsome to make it as an actor. Dustin Hoffman has been one of the most successful and popular actors of all time, and he's pretty average, looks-wise, plus--he's short. Acting is about acting skill.
But you don't seem to respect him, so why bother? And you may be right about him. But the fact that he's put all his eggs in this one basket, and never got any marketable career skills (does he even have higher education?), while banking on an iffy career like acting, says something about him.
Going out with a guy you don't respect and have no interest in for the long term, just because you find him good-looking, is a waste of time, and not very considerate of his feelings. How would you like it, if someone went out on a string of dates with you, just because they found you nice to look at, but dumped you when someone more to their liking came along?
Well I had a discussion with him about being friends first with the potential for more if things go well, and we are going to try it. We talked about what would be acceptable within our friendship boundaries and we both agreed that sex wouldn’t be included. We talked about kissing and he takes kissing more seriously than I do, so he doesn’t want to kiss until we decide that we’re sure we want it to be more than friends. Unless this is all a scam, he does seem like a really sweet guy. He reiterated to me that breaking into the acting career is really important to him so as a friend, I’ll have to try to be more understanding of that.
We talked about kissing and he takes kissing more seriously than I do, so he doesn’t want to kiss until we decide that we’re sure we want it to be more than friends.
Since my last post, I’ve talked extensively with this guy and without putting his business out there, there are just way too many red flags for me to continue getting to know him even as a friend. I feel bad because he’s confided in me and I’ve confided in him, but it’s much better that I found out about this stuff now. I understand that I’m considered the “bad guy” in this situation and that’s fine, but I tried with him against my better judgment. I still think he has good qualities but we absolutely could never date, and he’s harboring a lot of anger and resentment about the way his life is going and I just can’t have that kind of negative energy around me. I understand that people have mental health issues, but he’s in denial about his and not willing to get help. He thinks that every single thing that has gone wrong in his life is someone else’s fault, and I’m tired of hearing about it already.
Since my last post, I’ve talked extensively with this guy and without putting his business out there, there are just way too many red flags for me to continue getting to know him even as a friend. I feel bad because he’s confided in me and I’ve confided in him, but it’s much better that I found out about this stuff now. I understand that I’m considered the “bad guy” in this situation and that’s fine, but I tried with him against my better judgment. I still think he has good qualities but we absolutely could never date, and he’s harboring a lot of anger and resentment about the way his life is going and I just can’t have that kind of negative energy around me. I understand that people have mental health issues, but he’s in denial about his and not willing to get help. He thinks that every single thing that has gone wrong in his life is someone else’s fault, and I’m tired of hearing about it already.
The “against your better judgment” part was what made you the bad guy in the first place because you seemed intent on using him even though you didn’t appear to care for him, based on how you wrote about him.
You're not the "bad guy" at all. It is important to acknowledge red flags when you see them and give some thought to what you want in your life and what you don't want. I have a relative who is an actor in Hollywood. He has had bit parts for 3 decades and is a Screen Actors Guild member. He has remained single with no children, and always had to do low paid restaurant & hotel work in order to make ends meet. According to him, that kind of work is common in order to have time to audition for acting jobs.
Sorry acting is a hobby unless you can support yourself and make a living from it. This is not the guy for you. Move along. What you see is what you get. Very few people will ever be able to make it as an actor or actress. He should have had a career to fall back on in the event acting does not work out. Seriously you can't live with your parents forever.
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