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Even in an argument with a reasonable person, there's a way to communicate through a upsetting/disappointing situation. It doesn't sound like you even know how to communicate in that manner...
Absolutely.
Disagreements also can be discussed once the child has gone to bed, etc.
There shouldn't be so much spur-of-the-moment discord that the child HAS to witness it.
Every issue with my gf is resolved with some type of bartering, which is easier to deal with. It's not ideal, but it's calm, and that's important with my son, even if the relationship is somewhat transactional.
I can understand your concern for your son and that's fine for now (depending on what you're bartering for)but you're not seeing is the reality behind what she's offering for the possible future of you not being there which is just pushing it off on someone else..
What are some examples of this supposed bartering which is supposed to be 'fair trade'?
I can understand your concern for your son and that's fine for now (depending on what you're bartering for)but you're not seeing is the reality behind what she's offering for the possible future of you not being there which is just pushing it off on someone else..
What are some examples of this supposed bartering which is supposed to be 'fair trade'?
I think it's suspicious for GF to ask about the arrangements OP has made for his son. It seems like there may be an agenda there. Namely: How does GF gain control of all of the funds, when the time comes. What would be best for her: Advise he will live with a sibling for relatively nothing, so that no money gets set aside and formally labeled, or direct hundreds of thousands to a group home/assisted living facility care?
What are some examples of this supposed bartering which is supposed to be 'fair trade'?
She wants to move in and she promises she'll clean my house from top to bottom and keep everything spotless and watch my son on business trips, which I haven't been able to take and it's been doing a CLM on me because my ex won't take him for a week.
She wants an earring and I get something in the sack that I've been asking for that she wasn't giving before, stuff like that. But when we get to the jewelry store I find she wants a diamond earring but she says "you promised". But I did get something too that I wouldn't have dreamed of a year ago from a beautiful woman so I can't complain.
All I can do is shake my head. This is SOOOOOO screwed up.
I understand your rationale, from a parenting perspective, but you are sacrificing your own mental and emotional health in order to have regular sex. It's sad because it WILL take its toll on you in the long run. Best case scenario is that she leaves you sooner rather than later because she WILL tire of the situation eventually.
Good luck.
Yeah it is but I had a 2 year drought and I'm not going through that again. The main reason for the drought is my ex never takes my son and many women don't want to deal with my situation. To find a gorgeous woman that is prettier than every woman I've ever met that is fine with the situation is a godsend actually.
The transactional nature I think just manifests itself more in an older man/younger woman situation. It's part of the deal if you want a younger gal I think.
Yeah it is but I had a 2 year drought and I'm not going through that again. The main reason for the drought is my ex never takes my son and many women don't want to deal with my situation. To find a gorgeous woman that is prettier than every woman I've ever met that is fine with the situation is a godsend actually.
The transactional nature I think just manifests itself more in an older man/younger woman situation. It's part of the deal if you want a younger gal I think.
I don't know if I would trust her fully with your son. Is he verbal? Maybe I didn't catch the nature if his disability. I would place hidden cameras around to observe her around your son when they are alone. But she may be smart enough to find them if not placed in well hidden areas. She is promising you the moon. Just sounds too good to be true. Be careful.
I don't know if I would trust her fully with your son. Is he verbal? Maybe I didn't catch the nature if his disability. I would place hidden cameras around to observe her around your son when they are alone. But she may be smart enough to find them if not placed in well hidden areas. She is promising you the moon. Just sounds too good to be true. Be careful.
He is verbal, basically a high functioning aspie (sp?). But he has touch and sensory issues. For instance loud noise can set him off, so a very emotional and verbal lady is very bad for him. If she did anything against him, he would not only tell me but he has a cell phone and would call 911 immediately.
Heck the other day I was at the grocery store but he was home playing video games and a solicitor kept ringing the doorbell and he called me and I told him to wait 15 minutes (Hey Siri put a timer for 15 minutes) and if the guy wasn't gone then call 911 and he did it. I actually got home the same time the cops got home.
His issues are mainly it has to be a quiet, consistent home where everyone is calm and well mannered. If that is not met, it sets him off and he can have fits or run away. Basically his fight or flight mechanism is triggered easily. Whatever you say about my gf, her calm demeanor is great.
He even said "Dad, why haven't you been dating women like _____ before?"
Every other woman I've dated he's said "You need to dump that b." One good thing about autism is the honesty, he doesn't BS me.
So I have a beautiful woman that is great with my son but she has some a mild degree of narcissism, which I think is common in millennials. This is my analysis so far.
The problem is that you're placing all your bets on a narcissist, and you don't seem to fully comprehend the potential negatives that involves.
She doesn't really care about you. Not deep down. It's ALL about her and what you can provide her. And one day, sooner than you think, she will begin to look elsewhere for someone new to "provide" her what she wants. She may not even wait to end it with you. She'll just cheat. Because you'll let her.
If you're desperate for sex, why not just get an escort? You can pay the same amount and set a regular date. And you won't have to worry about her demeanor.
Your current plan is very bad. Naive and short-sighted. I don't know how much more clearly to say it.
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