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The bolded sounds odd. "...find something work-related to do together"? He's some kind of big-wig, but he'd be interested in "finding something work-related to do together" with a newbie, or a growing talent? Maybe what he meant (if his interest is legit), is that maybe someday, when you become a business success, you two may have occasion to do business with each other. Like, he just wants to see you become a successful business owner or manager, and after that, you two may cross paths when doing business, or not.
I could think of other interpretations, too--not so benign--but we don't have enough info to go on.
The thing is, older men sometimes mentor new young guys in their field, whatever the field may be, and the young guys don't harbor suspicions about their motives. They just appreciate that someone's reached out to them, and run with it. Maybe this guy is legitimately looking for fresh business talent to mentor.
On a side note, I'm surprised you're not used to eye contact when having meetings with people. Don't you look at the people you're speaking to, when you have either casual, or professional, one-on-one convos with people?
But OP said this guy doesn't do that. He apparently singled her out, bypassing people who work where he does and all that, for special treatment, even though he told her that isn't something he ever does. I would wonder at his motives regardless of which sex/gender either of them was, and just because it seems fishy to me doesn't mean I think it's sexual.
And I too look people in the eye, but when they're initiating a staredown, no, I'm usually not interested in playing, nor do most conversations involve people staring into each other's eyes for the whole time. That would make anyone uncomfortable.
He’s heard and “read about your great communication skills”? This just doesn’t seem realistic. What exactly are all of the things he makes sure are provided for you? Are you talking about material objects when you say he makes sure you “have what you need”? There’s a noticeable vagueness in your description.
Those are pretty generic things to say. “I heard you’re great at your job”. Uses that to break the ice, blows some more smoke.. “I’ve been watching your work for a couple of months”. (Gives credence to his praise of her business talent ) Innocent meetings now and then. Wants to take care of her needs. He’s grooming her.
Or... He’s just a really nice guy wanting to help a young woman.
Tough call.
Why would you continue to ask the same question? Either you believe him or you don't. It really sounds like you're HOPING he does want something more from you.
If he's behaving inappropriately towards you, then remove yourself from the situation. If he's not, then try to act like a professional, rather than a schoolgirl with a crush on her superior.
No I am certainly not hoping he would. I like how it is right now, only about work / and it's proffesional. But I just find it odd he is helping me that much, even though he stated he didn't want anything in return from me, but maybe in the future when I've gotten a lot more experience / higher in the hiearchy etc.
Which is also fine with me, but I can't help but wonder if there is something more to it.
Right now I'm just taking his words as it is, and I'll just go with it, maybe time will tell
Those are pretty generic things to say. “I heard you’re great at your job”. Uses that to break the ice, blows some more smoke.. “I’ve been watching your work for a couple of months”. (Gives credence to his praise of her business talent ) Innocent meetings now and then. Wants to take care of her needs. He’s grooming her.
Or... He’s just a really nice guy wanting to help a young woman.
Tough call.
Exactly, is he grooming me or just helping me? That's my question! And I can't seem to figure it out.
No I am certainly not hoping he would. I like how it is right now, only about work / and it's proffesional. But I just find it odd he is helping me that much, even though he stated he didn't want anything in return from me, but maybe in the future when I've gotten a lot more experience / higher in the hiearchy etc.
Which is also fine with me, but I can't help but wonder if there is something more to it.
Right now I'm just taking his words as it is, and I'll just go with it, maybe time will tell
Has he ever made you uncomfortable or given you an "off" vibe when you're around him?
Has he ever made you uncomfortable or given you an "off" vibe when you're around him?
Hm, the eye-contact thing. Which happened once. I think it was our 3rd or 4th meeting. We talked about some work at his office and we were alone (but there were people outside) so we were not completely alone in that building.
When we talk we usually do have eye contact, I am used to that, but it's so different when we don't speak or when he don't say anything at all...
We talked and talked, and then there were some 10 sec-silence which made him look into my eye. I looked away because I was kind of shy
Another "off" vibe is:
my friend who knows him warned me to not meet him alone because he can be "charming".. He wanted my brother or a male colleague to join me in every meeting, but I refused because I never experienced anything beside the eye contact. Which is fine with me.
I asked my friend why he would warn me like that, he told me he is legit, and nice, he is known to be "big" and "he knows everyone" in this career field, but he can be charming when he meet young women, specially alone. I have never experienced anything negative, besides his help & other positive things. So that's why I keep meeting him alone, and that's why I'm writing this thread. There is something I can't point my fingers at, yet IDK what his intentions are.
Yes, not to sound selfish but I am very good at it... and better than any other people who does it expensive. I do it for half the price and you'll get a better commercial for your company.
I should have mentioned it in my thread because that's what he is mostly interested in. I kind of forgot to write it here... so sorry guys.
Anyhow; Should I ask him for the 2nd time what he wants from me? I'm going to see him in 2 weeks, and maybe I should "clean the air" for once?
Or should I just play dumb and keep it proffesional and then see where it goes?
Don't ask him again what he wants from you. It makes you sound immature and unprofessional.
Hm, the eye-contact thing. Which happened once. I think it was our 3rd or 4th meeting. We talked about some work at his office and we were alone (but there were people outside) so we were not completely alone in that building.
When we talk we usually do have eye contact, I am used to that, but it's so different when we don't speak or when he don't say anything at all...
We talked and talked, and then there were some 10 sec-silence which made him look into my eye. I looked away because I was kind of shy
Another "off" vibe is:
my friend who knows him warned me to not meet him alone because he can be "charming".. He wanted my brother or a male colleague to join me in every meeting, but I refused because I never experienced anything beside the eye contact. Which is fine with me.
I asked my friend why he would warn me like that, he told me he is legit, and nice, he is known to be "big" and "he knows everyone" in this career field, but he can be charming when he meet young women, specially alone. I have never experienced anything negative, besides his help & other positive things. So that's why I keep meeting him alone, and that's why I'm writing this thread. There is something I can't point my fingers at, yet IDK what his intention
People that know him are warning you about his "ways" ... but you can't figure out why you're getting an "off" vibe???
Really? Come on, now...
People that behave in a strictly professional manner usually don't give off weird vibes that make people question their intentions.
And yet, even after knowing this information, you continue to put yourself alone with him in this situation. By choice, over and over again. But... you don't want anything to happen with him?
my friend who knows him warned me to not meet him alone because he can be "charming".. He wanted my brother or a male colleague to join me in every meeting,.
Now you add this?
If your next meeting doesn't result in something specific or concrete business -wise you may get a better idea as to "why"
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