Taking a trip with a male friend? (guys, lover, separate)
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I draw the line at my SO taking a trip with someone she had sex with before. Because if it happened once (read: she felt attracted enough to let him have sex with her), it can and will happen again.
The only kind of male friend I'd be OK with her traveling with, is the one she wouldn't sleep with in a million years.
"....to let him have sex with her..."????? Good grief.
He's hoping his BFF (you) will be such close friends with him that you feel comfortable enough to shed all your clothes off and vent to him about all your problems nekkid, right there in your cabin. And maybe you can thank him for listening and being such a good friend with a BJ.
He's hoping his BFF (you) will be such close friends with him that you feel comfortable enough to shed all your clothes off and vent to him about all your problems nekkid, right there in your cabin. And maybe you can thank him for listening and being such a good friend with a BJ.
That's not "close friends"; that's either FWB or sex buddy. Scratch the second one, actually. Sex buddies don't travel together; they just have sex. Friends, the platonic variety, don't see each other in anything less than a swimsuit, let alone do anything. At best, they're there for each other in good times and bad times, with no expectations of sex. At worst, it's code for being civil if running into each other, but otherwise leaving each other alone.
The OP's guy friend is naive for thinking anything else.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 06-30-2019 at 12:34 PM..
Reason: punctuation fix.
I guess it ultimately depends on the two people, but if it is an ex and you were intimate at one point, it just seems like an awkward/potentially confusing situation. Even for the crowd that claims they stay "friends" with all of their exes.
At some point on the trip either temptation or extreme awkwardness (keeping extra distance to ensure nothing happens) will happen. If it is an ex and you were intimate in the past, past feelings will likely come up (even if only briefly in passing).
Doesn't seem like a great idea, but like I said, it ultimately depends on the two people. In some rare instances it may work.
If it is a male friend you've never dated/been intimate with, and you are really just good friends (i.e. you know him well enough and trust nothing will happen), then I could see it being fine (non-awkward).
Of course you can take a trip with a friend of the opposite sex. I wouldn't share a room/bed unless we were lovers, however. I'd just book hotel rooms next door.
My best male friend was once my lover--but this was over a decade ago. No big deal. We've taken trips together before.
I draw the line at my SO taking a trip with someone she had sex with before. Because if it happened once (read: she felt attracted enough to let him have sex with her), it can and will happen again.
The only kind of male friend I'd be OK with her traveling with, is the one she wouldn't sleep with in a million years.
Agreed. I would also think, just out of pure respect, a man or women in a relationship (married/dating) wouldn't take a trip with an ex that they were once intimate with. Why even put yourself in that situation? And why would someone in a relationship take a trip with their ex, rather than their partner?
Agreed. I would also think, just out of pure respect, a man or women in a relationship (married/dating) wouldn't take a trip with an ex that they were once intimate with. Why even put yourself in that situation? And why would someone in a relationship take a trip with their ex, rather than their partner?
Hard to say but there could be a variety of reasons. Maybe the friend and the person share an interest that the person and their romantic partner don't.... like say, going to a convention or something similar. Maybe the friend is taking the trip for some important personal event and needs their friend there as emotional support. Or maybe they just want to do a quick friends trip and invited their partners along too, but the partners couldn't go for some reason.
It's funny how people talk about this. "That situation"... if you trust your friend and have a purely platonic relationship with them, it's not a "situation". It's just you and your friend doing something together.
I feel that we've gotten way into irrelevant territory talking about the disrespect or jealousy or threat to someone's partner if they were in a relationship and went on a trip with an opposite sex friend.
That wasn't ever the subject of this thread, as the OP is single. And so is the friend. That entire element is a non-thing here. It just gives folks something to speak to, since otherwise we're sitting here shrugging like... Sooo maybe you have sex, and mayyybe you don't? Do what ya want? What were you asking?
Like there did not seem to be a question or direction to go with the subject. It wasn't, "if I go, and don't want to have sex with him, how do I keep my boundaries sorted?" It wasn't, "If I go, and I do want to have sex with him, how should I seduce him?" It wasn't, "If I go, should I have sex with him again or nah?" It wasn't, "Who wants to start a betting pool on whether we get our freak on during this trip or not?"
We all pretty much acknowledge that if either person had a S.O. at home, it would be a bit different. If nothing else, the S.O.'s level of comfort should ideally be checked in with, should matter. And I do think that if one has a vested interest in NOT having sex with someone, it's usually a good idea to do some boundary things that help them to not hope for it. Personally, I wouldn't share a room. I'd limit private one-on-one interaction. I've found that men often believe, if you create opportunity and there is any interest, that you are issuing an invitation for sex. So, I try and make sure they are clear, when I'm not.
But OP did not tell us that was the situation. She said she might be willing to hook up again...or not...either way, it's not really a big huge deal. Well, so, I guess at this point I'm just hoping she comes back to end our suspense on whether anything happened, and more importantly if a good time was had.
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