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My partner and I have been together for 5 years. Things have always been good, we respect each other's space and preferences and support each other all the time.
When she got pregnant, even though it was a planned pregnancy and I was thrilled, I immediately started thinking about getting a paternity test done once the child was born. I can't exactly figure out why that need arised but we've all heard so many stories about men finding out their children't weren't theirs a number of years down the road.
Our son was born 2 months ago and I had a paternity test done afterwards. The results came back positive and it was a relief to me in the sense that I was done with these doubts.
The thing is that the fact I've kept this a secret from her keeps haunting me from time to time. It'll pop up in mind out of the blue and sometimes I don't know how to put these thoughts away.
... we've all heard so many stories about men finding out their children't weren't theirs a number of years down the road.
I haven't heard many stories like that, in real life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HenryJKO
I'm just afraid I won't be able to keep this secret forever and it will slip out of my mouth during an argument or something like that.
It sounds like the problem you need help with is compulsive behavior.
If you can't trust your partner to the point that you DNA tested your child without her knowledge and you can't control the words that might come out of your mouth, you need help.
If that is what it takes for you to be sure and to give yourself completely to your son, it is fine and good for you you did it. Now who have no doubts on your mind otherwise that might have affected your relationship with your son in the long run. But why felt you need to do the test? Was there something that happened? What brought the doubts?
Your SO would probably feel very insulted if she knew.
Insulted? I think she could well feel crushed! She probably wouldn't be able to get her mind around it, if she'd devoted to the OP, and thinks they have a great relationship.
OP, this seems to be weighing on your mind, so I recommend you get counseling to resolve this with yourself.
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and you can't control the words that might come out of your mouth, you need help.