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My boyfriend [24M] and I [23F] have been dating for a year. We met during our final semester of college in Boston. I then moved to California for a job and he stayed in MA. Long distance worked fine for us. We flew to visit each other once a month and always made the most of it.
Then, the pandemic hit. I had been visiting him the week before quarantine really started, and I decided to just stay with my family in my hometown in a nearby New England state. I thought this would just be for a week or to, but nope, it’s extended. I’ve been working from home (though had my hours cut).
At first we were super excited for this! Yay, we’re so close to each other now! Less than an hour drive and just a train ride away. Then, trains no longer became an option. He doesn’t have a car, so his only option to pick me up was to borrow his dads car. To get to his dads house, he has to take public transportation, which isn’t safe anymore.
I share a car with my brother, but I haven’t been on the insurance so my parents didn’t want me driving the car out of state/far. I also hate driving and just kept hoping...next week things will chill out and I can take the train...next week...next week...
Yesterday I finally just asked my parents to please put me on the insurance. They agreed, and it worked out. However, when I got on the highway today, the check engine light went off, car prompted me to pull over when safe, and turns out the engine is pretty much ****ed and there are no mechanics open nearby. It’s an old car.
Everything sucks. I can’t go to him. He can’t come to me. I’m already stressed enough about my future, so much uncertainty. My boyfriend is sweet as hell and isn’t getting angry about this, but I’m just so frustrated and I can’t keep trying to figure out how to see him and thus stressing myself out. Today was such a let down and I’m just sort of at my breaking point. I almost want to just end the relationship to eliminate the stress of having to find a way to see each other.
I didn’t see him for the entire month of April despite him being an hour away!
My boyfriend [24M] and I [23F] have been dating for a year. We met during our final semester of college in Boston. I then moved to California for a job and he stayed in MA. Long distance worked fine for us. We flew to visit each other once a month and always made the most of it.
Then, the pandemic hit. I had been visiting him the week before quarantine really started, and I decided to just stay with my family in my hometown in a nearby New England state. I thought this would just be for a week or to, but nope, it’s extended. I’ve been working from home (though had my hours cut).
At first we were super excited for this! Yay, we’re so close to each other now! Less than an hour drive and just a train ride away. Then, trains no longer became an option. He doesn’t have a car, so his only option to pick me up was to borrow his dads car. To get to his dads house, he has to take public transportation, which isn’t safe anymore.
I share a car with my brother, but I haven’t been on the insurance so my parents didn’t want me driving the car out of state/far. I also hate driving and just kept hoping...next week things will chill out and I can take the train...next week...next week...
Yesterday I finally just asked my parents to please put me on the insurance. They agreed, and it worked out. However, when I got on the highway today, the check engine light went off, car prompted me to pull over when safe, and turns out the engine is pretty much ****ed and there are no mechanics open nearby. It’s an old car.
Everything sucks. I can’t go to him. He can’t come to me. I’m already stressed enough about my future, so much uncertainty. My boyfriend is sweet as hell and isn’t getting angry about this, but I’m just so frustrated and I can’t keep trying to figure out how to see him and thus stressing myself out. Today was such a let down and I’m just sort of at my breaking point. I almost want to just end the relationship to eliminate the stress of having to find a way to see each other.
I didn’t see him for the entire month of April despite him being an hour away!
That's a very tough day.
It sounds like your expectations messed you up. You had your hopes up, and you got let down. That's the only way this makes sense, knowing that you've gone longer than a month seeing him when you were in CA.
I recommend two options:
1) Unless you are going to move back home anytime soon, end it now so you both can live your lives fairly and without guilt and disappointment.
2) Continue as you have but don't expect to see him. That's the only way to avoid disappointment: Hope for the best, but expect the worst.
I'm saying this as someone in an LDR who hasn't seen my SO since January.
My boyfriend [24M] and I [23F] have been dating for a year. We met during our final semester of college in Boston. I then moved to California for a job and he stayed in MA. Long distance worked fine for us. We flew to visit each other once a month and always made the most of it.
Have you discussed long-term future plans at all?
Your frustration is understandable, especially after what sounds like a truly terrible day. I personally wouldn't end an otherwise positive relationship over logistical issues caused by this pandemic. This too will pass... And it's not an easy time to meet anyone else, either.
Your frustration is understandable, especially after what sounds like a truly terrible day. I personally wouldn't end an otherwise positive relationship over logistical issues caused by this pandemic. This too will pass... And it's not an easy time to meet anyone else, either.
Under normal circumstances, you would be living across the country and seeing each other for one weekend each month. I was wondering if there were any plans (even vague hopes) to change that. If so, you have something to look forward to someday, so keep your spirits up in the meantime!
Look, you need to take deep breaths and calm down.
Except for the pandemic, everything is better than it was. You’re close enough to see one another without the huge expense of flying. The details are frustrating, but the big picture isn’t so bleak.
You are 23 years old. Virtually everyone is experiencing disruptions. Your current job won’t matter in ten years. You’ll be living a different life than now. Things will have evolved are resolved. Nothing except for the health and well-being of your loved ones matters.
Maintain your composure and try to be philosophical and flexible. You’ll feel better.
If you could afford to fly that often, can't you afford to rent a car?
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