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Having a Relationship with crack addicted woman-is it maintainable
No.
My eldest son's mother-in-law is a crack addict. The drama with that family is insane.
One time my son called me for help. His Mother-in-law and his sister-in-law were both in his house screaming at him [both of those females, mother and daughter, are addicted to crack], and the police were en route. I told him to keep his hands on top of his head, regardless of what the women did. Do not take his hands down until the police are on-scene and the police say it is safe to take your hands down. If either female starts beating on him, and if he should raise a hand to shield himself the police will arrest him. Sure enough, when the police arrived, the police saw both of those women beating on my son with fists. The police handcuffed both women, and my son still had his hands on top of his head. The police asked him why, so he explained this is what my daddy said to do, as the only way to avoid being arrested. The police laughed and said that his daddy was correct, it was okay now to take his hands down.
My son's wife does not use crack, but she grew-up in a crack home. I can not begin to describe the drama of those people.
You asked for advice though, so here it is. Move, get physically away from that woman. Stop all communication with that woman. There is nothing you can do to rescue her. She will suck you into her drama, it will suck away all of your time, energy, and money. And there is a strong possibility that you may end up in prison, simply for being within the sphere of influence around her.
I've seen people go off the deep end with drug addictions (cocaine, meth, heroin)... insidious disease. I have one friend who is a recovering addict but I didn't know her until she was already in rehab. Her stories are heartbreaking.... it runs in her family... it ruins everything around them. Her younger brother died last year over an overdose last year; he was in his late 20s. I've had a few acquaintances/friends caught up in this and we did our best to support... some made out.. some did not...
It was always manageable for me because after all, they weren't my closest friends nor family; none of it affected those closest to my heart... Feelings were compartmentalized...
I would not wish anyone the heartbreak that I'm going through right now. It drains you... emotionally and physically. You have to distance yourself... protect yourself... and hope for the best.
They are not capable of helping themselves much less maintain a relationship with anyone. The relationships they build post dependency are generally toxic and built on co-dependency; in turns destroys what ever healthy relationships they had before the problems.
Addiction to Crack, Meth, Heroine, it's all about the same. Addicts will affect themselves as well as their friends, co-workers and families. Lives will change, mostly for the worse. People will be hurt, people will die. Addicts tend to hang around with addicts. They lie, they cheat, they steal, whatever it takes to get their next fix.
That's what's so sad about addiction. An otherwise very responsible, law abiding citizen will become irresponsible. You can't depend on them. You can't get a commitment for anything from them. They might miss something or something else may come along that involves a "fix". Always looking for a high that's higher than the last one. Very, very sad thing for sure.
I would not recommend getting romantically involved with an addict at all. She will manipulate you until she is getting what she wants (the "fix") and you will be enabling her to do it before you know it.
This person is not emotionally well or sound. She is not physically well. Nothing about her is correct, well or otherwise normal. She is not the person she once was. She may at some point ask for help rather than die, but even then a lot of them die.
The best thing you can do for your friend is to remain friends (from a distance as you said) and if she needs rides to an AA meeting that's fine. Give her a Big Book, say a prayer and move on.
I was married to a Crack Addict and a 28 year marriage ended they can never meet your needs, they can only think of themselves and life is horrible living or having a relationship with an addict.
You can maintain it, yes. If you are clear about the fact that she most likely will always be an addict. And with the additional gambling, chances are she may cost you quite some money.
Also, there is always the danger that you come home and find her passed out. Either just because she is high or because she overdosed. May lay in her own vomit. The on and off using means she will be having withdrawals. During that time she may be intolerable and in horrific pain. Fun to watch. Not.
Oh and every addict usually comes with a set of trashy friends and dealers that you cannot avoid then either. Lots of driving around late night to shady areas, paranoia about cops following. Always feeling weird with her in the car because you dont know whats in her pockets. Her car is probably known to the cops, so be careful if you get into her car.
It's amazing what men will voluntarily put themselves through just for an orgasm.
Right??
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