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Why would a guy give me mixed signals, glance, flirt with me, suggest to hang out without making specific plans, be nice one day and mean/avoid or look at me angrily the next, and be hot&cold on text? Sometimes he'd flirt with my friend in front of me too.And say some weird stuff insinuating that I don't love him, why this game/manipulation? Many times I felt like he was just stringing me along. On the other hand it makes no sense to me, to act like this for months. I got pissed, ignored him and went no contact, we don't talk anymore. I flirted back and showed some interest, I didn't say no when he suggested to meet so I don't understand. He looked like a nice guy and seemed genuinely interested sometimes but I'm probably a fool here. Why do they come crawling back only when I get fed up for good?
Because he's immature. The only way he knows of relating to women is through manipulation. He's trying make you jealous, other times he tries to put you on the defensive, so you'll object to his accusations and say you care, etc. This is not an emotionally healthy, mature adult.
Just not saying “no” apparently didn’t give him enough indication/inspiration that you might say “yes”?
If you want to get together, ask him if he’d like to do something with you, and then suggest what, when, where, etc. like anyone else would do when they’re making plans.
Maybe that’s too easy.
I actually said yes but didn't ask about time or place, I thought he would do that. Then he never mentioned it again so I figured he was just messing with me.
I think maybe she got the writing time line out of order. I think she meant to say that she was always encouraging, even though he played these kind of games...up until a point. And then she got fed up and shut it down.
OP, for what it's worth, women can do this too. It seems like...it's more about seeing if they can keep you hopping and keep you coming back. You were wise to let him go.
Yeah that's what I meant, I was giving some positive signals and still hot&cold went on.
Him: flirt with me, suggest to hang out without making specific plans, be nice one day and mean/avoid or look at me angrily the next, and be hot&cold on text.
You: I got pissed, ignored him and went no contact, we don't talk anymore. I flirted back and showed some interest.
why this game/manipulation? Because you both seem to like it
I agree w/ the above! You're no better than he is then the way you, "flirted back & showed interest".
A smart, no-nonsense type of lady wouldn't want to waste her time & forget his stupid ___ permanently the second she observed this wishy-washy behavior from him. What is this junior high?! (& even then, I didn't act like that!) I know I wouldn't put up w/ it for a second! Forget how cute, sexy, if he has a good job, etc. or whatever else he might be/have. I look at a person's character & darn it, if he doesn't have the moral values & ethics that are up to my standards, who needs him?! I know I'm worth it & don't need nor deserve that BS!
My guy friend who sent me many signals of interest suggested that we meet up and I replied a short yes but didn't ask about details because I thought he would do that. I waited and it never happened, he didn't mention it again. Then after quite a long time I asked him if he wants to go out. He also said a short yes but didn't ask about any details. He still flirts, smiles and sometimes stares to the point that it's painfully obvious and annoying like turning his head when I walk by, positioning himself near me etc. I noticed he doesn't do that to any other girl. He looks like he wants to talk to me but perhaps he's just joking around? And the next day he avoids me or acts mean and rude, or gives me the side eye. Could it be because I tend to ignore him and he's insecure? Or was he never into me in the first place? It would be weird to do that if he didn't find me attractive so I'm confused. Could he be secretly gay or have a girlfriend?
Sounds like you are reading too much into it and are projecting your feelings onto him. The best thing to do would be to tell him that you like him as more than a friend. Then, watch his reaction. I'm guessing he will be shocked.
My guy friend who sent me many signals of interest suggested that we meet up and I replied a short yes but didn't ask about details because I thought he would do that. I waited and it never happened, he didn't mention it again. Then after quite a long time I asked him if he wants to go out. He also said a short yes but didn't ask about any details. He still flirts, smiles and sometimes stares to the point that it's painfully obvious and annoying like turning his head when I walk by, positioning himself near me etc. I noticed he doesn't do that to any other girl. He looks like he wants to talk to me but perhaps he's just joking around? And the next day he avoids me or acts mean and rude, or gives me the side eye. Could it be because I tend to ignore him and he's insecure? Or was he never into me in the first place? It would be weird to do that if he didn't find me attractive so I'm confused. Could he be secretly gay or have a girlfriend?
This sounds like high school. You text but don't talk in person, just walk by each other without talking?
If you don't want to be played, stop playing games. Why don't you just go up to him and talk to him?
And how about a suggestion on where to meet and what to do? Act like a grownup.
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Is he not into me?
