Why pull this hot&cold nonsense? (dating, women, love)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Why would a guy give me mixed signals, glance, flirt with me, suggest to hang out without making specific plans, be nice one day and mean/avoid or look at me angrily the next, and be hot&cold on text? Sometimes he'd flirt with my friend in front of me too. And say some weird stuff insinuating that I don't love him, why this game/manipulation? Many times I felt like he was just stringing me along. On the other hand it makes no sense to me, to act like this for months. I got pissed, ignored him and went no contact, we don't talk anymore. I flirted back and showed some interest, I didn't say no when he suggested to meet so I don't understand. He looked like a nice guy and seemed genuinely interested sometimes but I'm probably a fool here. Why do they come crawling back only when I get fed up for good?
Him: flirt with me, suggest to hang out without making specific plans, be nice one day and mean/avoid or look at me angrily the next, and be hot&cold on text.
You: I got pissed, ignored him and went no contact, we don't talk anymore. I flirted back and showed some interest.
why this game/manipulation? Because you both seem to like it
Why would a guy give me mixed signals, glance, flirt with me, suggest to hang out without making specific plans, be nice one day and mean/avoid or look at me angrily the next, and be hot&cold on text? Sometimes he'd flirt with my friend in front of me too. And say some weird stuff insinuating that I don't love him, why this game/manipulation? Many times I felt like he was just stringing me along. On the other hand it makes no sense to me, to act like this for months. I got pissed, ignored him and went no contact, we don't talk anymore. I flirted back and showed some interest, I didn't say no when he suggested to meet so I don't understand. He looked like a nice guy and seemed genuinely interested sometimes but I'm probably a fool here. Why do they come crawling back only when I get fed up for good?
Both of you are playing games. You worst of all. Give it up.
Having pursued a BPD woman, I would say the drama cycle pulls you in by throwing you off balance. At one moment she seems totally into you and at the next she hates you and then she is into you. In high school. I thought this was love, instead this was just a woman with a lot of problems. Mentally healthy people act this way. Dating is much easier when you screen these types of people out of your life.
But I also think that a lot of guys take stuff that women have done to them, that they felt got them hot and bothered by a woman, but now instead of being the victim of this behavior, they decide that is what is good for the goose is good for gander and see it as technique to get women.
So this is the type of mentally unhealthy dating advice that is regularly given to men.
The guys who are doing this, I don't think are actually BPD, but they are still playing games and likely also aren't real good relationship material.
Again emotionally well put together men aren't trying to emotionally throw you off kilter to try to get close to you. The emotionally well constructed men are going to treat you like an adult and not try to make dating any more complicated than it already is. You can and should do better than this guy.
I flirted back and showed some interest, I didn't say no when he suggested to meet.
Just not saying “no” apparently didn’t give him enough indication/inspiration that you might say “yes”?
If you want to get together, ask him if he’d like to do something with you, and then suggest what, when, where, etc. like anyone else would do when they’re making plans.
Both of you are playing games. You worst of all. Give it up.
I think maybe she got the writing time line out of order. I think she meant to say that she was always encouraging, even though he played these kind of games...up until a point. And then she got fed up and shut it down.
OP, for what it's worth, women can do this too. It seems like...it's more about seeing if they can keep you hopping and keep you coming back. You were wise to let him go.
I think maybe she got the writing time line out of order. I think she meant to say that she was always encouraging, even though he played these kind of games...up until a point. And then she got fed up and shut it down.
OP, for what it's worth, women can do this too. It seems like...it's more about seeing if they can keep you hopping and keep you coming back. You were wise to let him go.
I agree tbat she was just going back to clarify (although it was confusing to some). I think the OP just wants an explanation of why someone would act like that, and I agree with your. explanation too.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
