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So, I am in a middle of a situation here. If for the context might be interesting, I am located in Germany, I am a 25 year old straigh female. I just started a new job, and it took me a very long and hard time to find it. I love the job, the company and the people, so I really do not wanna risk losing it, specially since before finding the job, I was in a toxic and abusive workplace, and hating my life for it.
But also… I kinda have a massive crush on one of the cofounders of the company. Somehow this man is very open and approachable, welcoming and doesn’t look down on us the employees. We have some touchpointss during work but he also encourages me to ask him many questions and when I do - he really explains things so much in detail, as if he enjoys doing it.
Now, he is being very professional and yet friendly, with me and everyone else. He’s not flirting or anything. Of Course, he is most likely not yet interested in me as a girl, despite being super friendly, always laughing with me, etc, but also I do understand the even if he was he wouldn’t be likely to share it right away, since he is a cofounder and wouldn’t wanna risk looking like he is abusing his power to sexually harass female employees.
But the thing is that I don’t know how to act myself. It feels like it is THE job but also THE man (I know we just met, but I haven’t felt this way about a man in a really long time).
On one hand I don’t wanna be flirty to him, and see if he will reciprocate, because I don’t wanna risk getting fired and losing the job that took me months to find. (in Germany it is 6 months of probation, and during this period I can be fired without even giving me a reason why i got fired with only a 2 week notice. I have only been in the company for half a month.)
But also I don’t wanna potentially lose my chance of grand love, really. Like it could possibly be another failed romance, but could also be the love of my life, because when I look at him- I see a handsome, intelligent, professional, caring, funny, feminist, powerful, inspiring man, that could also be the best husband and father, and what if my passiveness costs me losing a bright future we could have had together?
So the question is, what should I do? What would you do if you were me? Have you maybe been in similar situations and would wanna share your experience? Thanks a lot for all your help in advance.
When there are other people in the room/area, but not in hearing distance, be straight forward: I find you interesting, kind, and attractive... and my signals say maybe you see me in a similar light? Or am I just reading too much into your attention and kindness? See what he says. Keep it professional no matter what his answer is. If negative: Good to know sir, thank you for your honesty (and get back to work). Positive, ask him: What's the next step?
One question to figure out before hand: Is he already married?
When there are other people in the room/area, but not in hearing distance, be straight forward: I find you interesting, kind, and attractive... and my signals say maybe you see me in a similar light? Or am I just reading too much into your attention and kindness? See what he says. Keep it professional no matter what his answer is. If negative: Good to know sir, thank you for your honesty (and get back to work). Positive, ask him: What's the next step?
One question to figure out before hand: Is he already married?
That's a direct way to hell. Confronting him so openly and telling him I like him can literally get me fired in a millisecond. And what I tried to say in the post is that is literally the last outcome I want.
I think the OP should stop daydreaming and get to work. Or you're fired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hehehhe. You do have a point for sure, but honestly my productivity does not struggle and quite the opposite - knowing that I am going to see him makes me more motivated to go to the office and overperform (which I do).
I agree that 2 weeks is crazy little time, and that's why i mentioned that God kows if anything would even work out, and yet I don't even wanna lose the possibility of something magical. The thing is that I am not the kind of person who easily gets attracted. And I don't know when the next man I like will come around. And letting this go without even giving it a try sounds ... possible but heartbreaking.
Maintain a professional attitude always. Don't say anything even remotely like what was suggested above to your boss or you could face immediate dismissal.
You've only been at work two weeks and it's a company you very much enjoy. Don't risk losing everything on foolishness. Take a brisk walk and blow the cobwebs out of your head.
That's not to say your boss isn't everything you say he is. You're probably not the first employee to have a crush on him.
Whoa Nellie, it's waaay too soon to jump the starting bell.
Slow but steady (and staying professional) wins the race.
US workplace anti-harrassment laws make it very tricky to navigate a supervisor/underling relationship (one can readily distill the thousands of pages of regulations, regulatory rulings, and case law down to a single word: "Don't") so my first thought is to wonder if there are similar impediments in German or EU law. If there are, it's best to disabuse yourself of any such notions right away.
When there are other people in the room/area, but not in hearing distance, be straight forward: I find you interesting, kind, and attractive... and my signals say maybe you see me in a similar light? Or am I just reading too much into your attention and kindness? See what he says. Keep it professional no matter what his answer is. If negative: Good to know sir, thank you for your honesty (and get back to work). Positive, ask him: What's the next step?
One question to figure out before hand: Is he already married?
She's been with the company half a month. There isn't a professional way to tell her boss she's interested in him.
OP...don't do anything. As long as you've been searching for a job, and you finally land a job at a good company, and you'd risk it for a crush? What is wrong with you?
What's wrong with just keeping your crush to yourself? Like you would if it was a movie star, or your doctor, or the guy who rescued you from a burning building? Lawd child...get a grip!
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