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You work in criminal justice so I have to assume you are not a teenager. I hope all your maturity and common sense is being spent on your job, because all this drama over someone you have met twice, who acts inconsistently, and is playing with your head is ridiculous.
Man up. Consider this person unbalanced - although honestly, the way you are mooning over some almost stranger, you might be the unbalanced one - block her. Find someone that wants to see you and lives close enough to be able to spend some evenings and weekends with.
Perhaps you have trouble finding dates and that's why you are waiting for this nutcase to throw you a few crumbs. You'd be better off in therapy learning why you are willing to put up with this non-relationship. Because that's what it is. A big ocean of nothingness. Now go forth and date others or learn how to get dates. Just stop being silly over this "not really even your friend" person.
See the bolded part you wrote. In two years, you've seen her twice and she hasn't told you where she lives. You're being strung along, and if you want something more from a relationship, you'll have to put an end to the phone calls and find someone else.
And BTW, checking up on her with the police and the continual phone calls are borderline stalking.
Well she was vague about what happened, she told me she was in trouble because the guy she was with hit her and she was staying at some hotel in my town but wouldn’t say where because she didn’t want me to see her like she was…and that’s all I got so I called the police to let them know and they tried contacting her and she wouldn’t answer the phone.
When I talked to her again that night I told her what I did and she seemed to not really say anything about me calling the cops to make sure she was okay
When i would confront her about my doubts of her living near me or ever moving i would get mixed results like either rage, or her saying “why would i lie to you and waste all this time?”
When i would confront her about my doubts of her living near me or ever moving i would get mixed results like either rage, or her saying “why would i lie to you and waste all this time?”
2 years of this and you are still "not sure" ?????
Well she was vague about what happened, she told me she was in trouble because the guy she was with hit her and she was staying at some hotel in my town but wouldn’t say where because she didn’t want me to see her like she was…and that’s all I got so I called the police to let them know and they tried contacting her and she wouldn’t answer the phone.
When I talked to her again that night I told her what I did and she seemed to not really say anything about me calling the cops to make sure she was okay
That's not quite how you put it in your OP:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reypoints11
She said she called the local cops about it but that’s it, being I work in criminal justice and know some cops I called them to make sure she was ok and not in danger, they told me they didn’t receive any calls from her.
This wasn't a call for help during an emergency, this wasn't a wellness check, this was using your connections to check up on someone. It's not appropriate and you're lucky it didn't get you in trouble at work.
There's an African saying: "The house of a person you love is never far." If this girl wanted to see you, she'd see you, especially if she's staying in your town and especially if she needed your help. She certainly wouldn't be with another man.
She is seeing someone else and you are on a back burner, just in case she needs you or feels bored and wants to talk.
How many more years you want to waste on her?
This has no future...
I’ll try to make this not as confusing and answer any questions to
So I met this girl online 2 years ago, she originally lived about an hour from me, we hit it off well to where we constantly talked on the phone. She love bombed me at first, and basically become close and closer. I have met her 2 times in person so yes she is real. I met her twice in person as she came to visit me due to to work one time and then friends the next time but she spent time with me also.
As time went on she wanted to move out of her town, wanted to move in my area for a better job and then to be closer to me. So she claims to of moved 10 minutes away from me back in late December of last year, I remember telling her if she needs help moving to let me know since I worked 2 jobs, one I’m retail during the busiest time of the year so I could try asking off….she never communicated with me anything, she only would take her “stress” out on me saying I wouldn’t help etc.
Anyways for the next 6 months I tried multiple times to see her, plan dates etc. and she would agree and then every time the day came she would ghost me, wouldn’t hear from her until a day or 2 later in which she would just talk to me like nothing happened.
Fast forward to June, she still tells me how she loves me and wants to date me long term etc…, then I go on my birthday trip and she tells me she started seeing some guy and basically turned mean to me etc..
Fast forward a month later apparently the new guy hit her and she came running to me (as In phone calls). My empathetic self of course was trying to care, kept asking what hotel she was in etc. she said some hotel in my town but wouldn’t tell me which one. She said she called the local cops about it but that’s it, being I work in criminal justice and know some cops I called them to make sure she was ok and not in danger, they told me they didn’t receive any calls from her.
Fast forward I try for the past 2 months again to see her in person and just nothing, but yet she claims to love me and says she lives near me…every time I question it or I express my feelings she either just gets upset or wants to sweep it under the rug…all she wants to do is phone call
At this point I would rather her just be honest and tell me she either doesn’t live near me or that she could just be using me to sweet talk with her on the phone but seems she will never admit it. There’s more to this but I just didn’t want to write so much here at once
You sort of been involved in a phone relationship with this person and only seen her twice stop talking to her.
How much money did you give her?
I never answer the phone or a text message from her again if you do it's to say goodbye. When this person is playing with you
OP, look at the facts. Re-read your part of the story, especially the part about her behavior after supposedly moving to your town. Unless I missed something, you have no real evidence she moved to your town, and she's refusing to provide an address. Why do you believe anything she says at all, especially after the way she's stood you up umpteen times, not just once or twice?
For all you know, she could be calling you from Canada. Why have you hung on to this situation? Just because her words say she loves you, but her actions scream she has no serious interest in you at all, and doesn't care if she stands you up time and again? What have you been doing in the meantime to meet other women? The kind that actually do live in your town, and do want to see you and get to know you .
For the love of God man, get some self respect. She's been jerking you around for 2 years and you're still no further ahead today than you were 2 years ago. Just stop being a p***y and move on with your life. Sheesh!
Because my empathetic self kept falling for whatever she manipulated me with, and the conversations we had were always great
Never ending drama, made up or otherwise, evasiveness, vagueness, and treating you like dirt is "great" conversation?
Go find someone who actually wants to be with you. This girl doesn't.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
How much money have you given her?
That was my first thought, but didn't really want to know. Of course he's giving her money. There's no other reason for her nonsense.
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