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I’ll try to make this not as confusing and answer any questions to
So I met this girl online 2 years ago, she originally lived about an hour from me, we hit it off well to where we constantly talked on the phone. She love bombed me at first, and basically become close and closer. I have met her 2 times in person so yes she is real. I met her twice in person as she came to visit me due to to work one time and then friends the next time but she spent time with me also.
As time went on she wanted to move out of her town, wanted to move in my area for a better job and then to be closer to me. So she claims to of moved 10 minutes away from me back in late December of last year, I remember telling her if she needs help moving to let me know since I worked 2 jobs, one I’m retail during the busiest time of the year so I could try asking off….she never communicated with me anything, she only would take her “stress” out on me saying I wouldn’t help etc.
Anyways for the next 6 months I tried multiple times to see her, plan dates etc. and she would agree and then every time the day came she would ghost me, wouldn’t hear from her until a day or 2 later in which she would just talk to me like nothing happened.
Fast forward to June, she still tells me how she loves me and wants to date me long term etc…, then I go on my birthday trip and she tells me she started seeing some guy and basically turned mean to me etc..
Fast forward a month later apparently the new guy hit her and she came running to me (as In phone calls). My empathetic self of course was trying to care, kept asking what hotel she was in etc. she said some hotel in my town but wouldn’t tell me which one. She said she called the local cops about it but that’s it, being I work in criminal justice and know some cops I called them to make sure she was ok and not in danger, they told me they didn’t receive any calls from her.
Fast forward I try for the past 2 months again to see her in person and just nothing, but yet she claims to love me and says she lives near me…every time I question it or I express my feelings she either just gets upset or wants to sweep it under the rug…all she wants to do is phone call
At this point I would rather her just be honest and tell me she either doesn’t live near me or that she could just be using me to sweet talk with her on the phone but seems she will never admit it. There’s more to this but I just didn’t want to write so much here at once
Let me get this straight, you were played by her for a combined total of over 8 months, and you still continue to hold out hope of a 'relationship' with this head case?
This is why people need to learn to cut loose early on instead of unnecessarily dragging things on. It's obvious this lady has no interest in the OP as a romantic partner or a friend, she simply considers him as a convenient therapist that she can vent to when she's bored.
The OP will not listen, but he should salvage his self respect and just move on from her. No unnecessary drama or petty threats giving her an ultimatum. This was never a relationship, so it doesn't even deserve any of that. She doesn't owe him anything, no honesty, no truth, nothing. It's just who she is, and be the better person and just cut all ties.
Because my empathetic self kept falling for whatever she manipulated me with, and the conversations we had were always great
Good good man, have some self respect.
What was the manipulation, a promise of a date. Geeze.
If you enjoy the conversations then just be her phone friend when she needs it’s and quit hanging on her promises of meeting up. Somehow you don’t seem capable of separating the two.
Let me get this straight, you were played by her for a combined total of over 8 months, and you still continue to hold out hope of a 'relationship' with this head case?
It doesn't even make any sense, the whole story. She uprooted her whole life to move to be near OP and yet won't see OP and they haven't seen her since she moved? She allegedly lives 10 minutes from OP but OP doesn't know where and she won't say? She says she "loves" OP but won't see them? (And OP is allegedly confused about what's going on?) Um... Yeah, something doesn't jive here.
Op , so are you saying you've only seen her twice in person in 2 yrs and the rest has been all this other stuff but nothing else has actually been in person?
At any rate , who knows what she's up to or where she really is or what she's really about but the reality is you've had nothing but bs from her for 2yrs, right ?
Man you got patience we'd have to give you that but unfortunately it's pretty obviously never going to be anything but a few phone calls, and your basically just being jerked around and lied to with those anyway.
Where she actually lives should be the least of your concerns regarding her. Cease all contact. Don't know what she is up to but none of the possible answers are good.
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Fast forward I try for the past 2 months again to see her in person and just nothing, but yet she claims to love me and says she lives near me…every time I question it or I express my feelings she either just gets upset or wants to sweep it under the rug…all she wants to do is phone call
At this point I would rather her just be honest and tell me she either doesn’t live near me or that she could just be using me to sweet talk with her on the phone but seems she will never admit it. There’s more to this but I just didn’t want to write so much here at once
See the bolded part you wrote. In two years, you've seen her twice and she hasn't told you where she lives. You're being strung along, and if you want something more from a relationship, you'll have to put an end to the phone calls and find someone else.
And BTW, checking up on her with the police and the continual phone calls are borderline stalking.
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