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I would classify myself as an ambivert, perhaps leaning somewhat toward introvert. My husband is most solidly an introvert.
It works well for us. We're fairly quiet people.
I think it's that introverts won't exhaust you. I sometimes find myself being overly social and sometimes need to check myself. So I have found dating someone who is more introverted, helps bring that balance in my life in a more organic way.
Now, I definitely need an introvert that is more compatible to my likes. Doing things like hiking, museums, cooking, bookstores, going for walks bike rides. I once dated an introvert who just wanted to play video games and smoke weed and didn't really get out. Which has nothing to do with introversion as much as he was just lazy and depressed.
My husband and I both identify as introverts, meaning social situations drain us, rather than energize us. But we are very friendly and interactive when in social situations. We both need downtime to recover, however for him he likes to drown himself in good music, and I often prefer silence because noise is a stimulant for me that I don't need when I'm trying to re-energize.
Introverts and extroverts can work as well as long as there is respect for each person's way of being, i.e. someone who constantly enjoys being around others but can understand that their partner does not feel that way, so both of them are okay if the extrovert attends more social events without the introvert. Another example, the extrovert makes an effort to have quality time with their spouse alone, or a smaller gathering of another couple and not a large social event.
IMO it's all about the balance and respect that two individuals can find in their relationship.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Introvert and want to date another introvert. I personally find extroverts exhausting to be around for an extended period so no way I could do a relationship with one.
I am more of an extrovert (though I don't have to be constantly involved in big social things, they do make me feel "fed" rather than "drained.") My husband is an introvert.
I like introverts because I love the feeling of "discovery" with the shy ones in particular. When they have this amazing personality and I feel like Indiana Jones for being the one to find it out because they aren't all over the place shouting it to the room. I love being the special person who makes them feel comfortable sharing, and it feels more special for the fact that they don't give that sort of access to just anybody.
My husband enjoys my extroversion (his best friends have been extroverts, too, and his parents had a similar dynamic) because he believes that networking is important and he always wanted to be better at it...and I think he finally realized that his best strategy would be to hang out next to an extrovert and try to get the benefits of their network, rather than having to do the work to build and maintain his own. Which frankly I think is very smart, and in a marriage, it's a matter of each person using their strengths to benefit each other and the household unit...this works out well.
I think that a potential issue arises when an introverted partner is also jealous or insecure and struggles to deal with an extrovert being an extrovert. Never feeling sure that there aren't some other motives, because they can't really understand just needing social contact for its own sake. So fortunately, I have an introvert who "gets" how extroverts are...it works for us.
Dating shouldn't be this hard and you don't need a survey like this, just date. You either click or you don't.
it shouldn't be hard, but these things do matter, especially in LTRs. I don't think they should be a deciding factor, however, knowing if your partner is extroverted/introverted can help you adapt to that and see if it will work out. Some times relationships fail because someone doesn't realize that their partner needs alone time to recharge and then take it personal or vice versa. In educating yourself and understanding how you are and how it will balance out with the other person is important.
To me understanding where you are and what you need in a partner when it comes to introversion/extroversion, is no different than understanding love languages. If I know someone is an extreme extrovert, I won't even want to date them and rather not waste my time going on a few dates to see if it would work. I can be friends with them, but dating them I know would not work out, it would be too much.
Dating shouldn't be this hard and you don't need a survey like this, just date. You either click or you don't.
I think it's an interesting question though.
I can see how it would be possible that an introvert might become jealous of an extrovert being so outgoing, or maybe an introvert craves a quiet home to come home to, and the other wants to let off steam at Happy Hour, etc. And I can also see how one would admire the opposite, and appreciate the gifts that the other brings to the table.
I can see how it would be possible that an introvert might become jealous of an extrovert being so outgoing, or maybe an introvert craves a quiet home to come home to, and the other wants to let off steam at Happy Hour, etc. And I can also see how one would admire the opposite, and appreciate the gifts that the other brings to the table.
Agreed. I don't think it's a deciding factor, but it's an important factor nonetheless, so that way expectations can be set. To me it's no different than understanding how dating would go with someone who has a complete opposite work schedule than you, or dating someone who travels every week for work. It's good to understand your style and the other person's style so expectations are healthy, realistic and fair.
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