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Old 09-23-2022, 02:55 PM
 
5,655 posts, read 3,141,549 times
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Eh. It's just something to talk about. I can't exactly wrap my head around the concept though.

 
Old 09-23-2022, 03:27 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,364 posts, read 14,640,743 times
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I mean it kinda sounds to me as though some gals might have thought that if good looking men treated them badly, then perhaps they'd have better luck with less superficially attractive guys... Which frankly reminds me of a stunning girl I knew in high school (think "punk rock Marilyn Monroe" with every bit of the chaos you would imagine)... And she had abusive relationships with boys, so she declared herself a lesbian and dated another girl. They got into a fight, and her girlfriend tried to run her over with a pickup truck in the school parking lot.

At some point...wherever you go, there you are. Not to necessarily blame the victim, but if you are having the same bad experience in all of your relationships, it really might be time to pause, take stock, recalibrate, and at the very least slow your roll.

But in the case of trying to test if less "attractive" men are nicer or better partners...maybe these women are learning that there are in fact no shortcuts and you have to...I dunno...actually get to know people.

Which frankly is a bit of dating advice I would toss at the feet of every struggling single.
 
Old 09-23-2022, 04:00 PM
 
Location: South of Heaven
7,908 posts, read 3,453,049 times
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I think the odds are at least as good that an unattractive guy who is given a chance by a woman will become a simp as there are that he will become an ass.
 
Old 09-24-2022, 07:00 AM
 
4,621 posts, read 2,219,465 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SnazzyB View Post
I think they kind of touched on that.

It's a little bit of a strange concept to me, on the face of it. I don't really understand why a woman would agree to date someone she wasn't attracted to. If she's not physically attracted to him...surely SOMETHING attracts her...be it his money, his status, his fame...implied security...I mean SOMETHING drew her to him...right? Do women typically take on charity cases?

I'm just trying to think this through...

Let's say I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. Men are worshipping the ground I walk on, and I'm quite used to that, and I expect it. BUT, I decide to give the ugly guy in the corner a chance, and go out with him. But, why would I do that? If I can snap my fingers and have anyone I want, why am I picking the ugly guy? I guess I don't get the idea of the beautiful woman getting insulted because the ugly guy wasn't nice to her.

I'm not trying to be argumentative...just not really getting this.
I don't think that it's women dating men they're not attracted to I mean that doesn't ever last long. I think they're dating men that they are attracted to but other women aren't attracted to them or they want them and they're trying to convince the other woman that they're not worth having.

There's so much more that goes into a person than their looks. Baby women are dating ugly dudes because they realize when I catch they are. Babies are not ugly to them.
 
Old 09-24-2022, 07:12 AM
 
867 posts, read 456,969 times
Reputation: 1040
lf it was true then it might work the same way with ugly women.
l've known a few that are selfish entitled won't do a damn thing and treat their men like absolute shyt .
Yet somehow , they somehow still actually have a man.
 
Old 09-24-2022, 07:26 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,739 posts, read 34,362,964 times
Reputation: 77059
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
But in the case of trying to test if less "attractive" men are nicer or better partners...maybe these women are learning that there are in fact no shortcuts and you have to...I dunno...actually get to know people.

Which frankly is a bit of dating advice I would toss at the feet of every struggling single.
We often hear this with the genders flipped, too--the ugly girl should be grateful that he asked her out, or how dare she turn him down because she's fat, has she looked in a mirror? yadda yadda.
 
Old 09-24-2022, 07:48 AM
 
Location: USA
9,114 posts, read 6,160,628 times
Reputation: 29892
The outside of a person is no indicator of the inside of that person.


Lots of combinations:

Outside/Inside:


Pretty/Nice
Pretty/Mean
Ugly/Nice
Ugly/Mean
 
Old 09-24-2022, 08:29 AM
 
Location: U.S.A.
19,697 posts, read 20,225,871 times
Reputation: 28927
"When dating out of your league goes wrong..."
 
Old 09-24-2022, 09:34 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,521 posts, read 84,705,921 times
Reputation: 114995
Quote:
Originally Posted by SnazzyB View Post
I think they kind of touched on that.

It's a little bit of a strange concept to me, on the face of it. I don't really understand why a woman would agree to date someone she wasn't attracted to. If she's not physically attracted to him...surely SOMETHING attracts her...be it his money, his status, his fame...implied security...I mean SOMETHING drew her to him...right? Do women typically take on charity cases?

I'm just trying to think this through...

Let's say I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. Men are worshipping the ground I walk on, and I'm quite used to that, and I expect it. BUT, I decide to give the ugly guy in the corner a chance, and go out with him. But, why would I do that? If I can snap my fingers and have anyone I want, why am I picking the ugly guy? I guess I don't get the idea of the beautiful woman getting insulted because the ugly guy wasn't nice to her.

I'm not trying to be argumentative...just not really getting this.
You omitted major attractors like kindness, intelligence, showing affection, making one laugh, etc., from your list. Not to mention having common interests.

My first husband was much better looking than I was. In fact, looks-wise, I was out of his league. In other ways, he was out of mine. Reading The Dissenter's post, I actually do think there was some of that on some level in his brain--that he felt as though by choosing a less-attractive partner, he had an edge on me. The reality of the attraction at rock bottom, however, even though I didn't realize it at the time was that he had an addictive personality and I was the "rescuer" type. But I do think he might also have felt he did me a grand favor by paying attention to a less-sought-after woman and that I'd fall easily for his attention, which was true. He was pretty mean about it sometimes; for example, he once handed me a little can of wood putty and told me I should use it to fill in my acne scars.

My current relationship developed through the written word before we knew what each other even looked like. Eventually we pointed each other to our FB pages, and I guess we decided we could tolerate the sight of each other.
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Last edited by Mightyqueen801; 09-24-2022 at 09:46 AM..
 
Old 09-24-2022, 09:44 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,521 posts, read 84,705,921 times
Reputation: 114995
Quote:
Originally Posted by randomx View Post
lf it was true then it might work the same way with ugly women.
l've known a few that are selfish entitled won't do a damn thing and treat their men like absolute shyt .
Yet somehow , they somehow still actually have a man.
This one always stayed with me. When I was 18, I worked in a store, a DIY chain store before Home Depot and Lowe's existed. This guy came to my register, an absolute Adonis. Tall, chiseled face, strong body, wide shoulders, brown curly hair. He said he had to wait a minute for his wife.

She shows up. She was nothing to look at. Small and thinnish, but no shape to her. Plain features, No makeup, mousy hair tied up some sort bun on her head. And she proceeded to speak to him sharply and question every purchase he had placed on the counter, why did you get that brand instead of the other, are you SURE that's the right size, rag rag rag. And he just stood there meekly yessing her. I always wondered how the heck they happened, but ya never know.
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