Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
A very popular sentiment that is growing in the dating world today is the fact when an “ugly” male is given a chance by any women, the ugly man will mistreat the woman because he has a major ego from the fact a woman saw his way and saw fit to give him a chance so he thinks he is on top of the world. The video from a couple of my favorite creators on YouTube gives a good breakdown.
Now is the above sentiment true? Let’s drill down.
My conclusion is not true. I arrived at this conclusion using basic logic from a couple points.
1. There are plenty of very attractive men who treat their women awful. This whole week Ime Udoka has received nonstop coverage for an affair. He was physically attractive enough to end up with Nia Long so that could easily put him in the very attractive category.
2. There is no scientific evidence to suggest that less attractive men treat their partners any worse than attractive men. However, we have to bring a person’s ego to the argument. There is a chance that when a less attractive partner does you wrong, you take is more personally because you feel that you are the more attractive partner in the relationship and you felt you gave your partner a chance to be with you even though they are less attractive than you. When the less attractive partner violates your expectations as the less attractive partner you take it personally because you may have an expectation of a more attractive partner’s potential to do you wrong but it may come from out of left field that the less attractive partner does you wrong because you don’t expect them to have much a good chance elsewhere in the dating world.
I don't think that one thing has got anything to do with the other. Anybody of any appearance can be a good person or a bad person, but the most likely thing is that they are something in between. It takes a lifetime of learning from everyone and everything around us as well as processing of ideas and shaping of values, to form the person that each of us will be.
I don't think that it is ever a good idea to be so blinded by superficial characteristics that one dives into a life commitment with no regard to the rest of what makes a person who they are.
And, too...ugly according to whom? My ex thought of himself as ugly. I NEVER agreed with that. I always thought of him as fairly...I dunno, average looking. Neither ugly nor a showstopper. But his own evaluation of his looks was a part of the specific way in which he was a bad partner. He had a lot of self loathing, which translated as a weird need to "punish" those closest to him.
And I've known some women who persistently and loudly call themselves "ugly" (when they objectively are not) in order to solicit needed affirmation to bolster their shaky self esteem. But just as ugly is the behavior of the beautiful person who thinks that they are simply better than everyone else and that others are beneath them. Unless you have some kind of serious humiliation kink or something, nobody wants to be treated like dirt under the foot of another person no matter how good they look.
A very popular sentiment that is growing in the dating world today is the fact when an “ugly” male is given a chance by any women, the ugly man will mistreat the woman because he has a major ego from the fact a woman saw his way and saw fit to give him a chance so he thinks he is on top of the world. The video from a couple of my favorite creators on YouTube gives a good breakdown.
Now is the above sentiment true? Let’s drill down.
My conclusion is not true. I arrived at this conclusion using basic logic from a couple points.
1. There are plenty of very attractive men who treat their women awful. This whole week Ime Udoka has received nonstop coverage for an affair. He was physically attractive enough to end up with Nia Long so that could easily put him in the very attractive category.
2. There is no scientific evidence to suggest that less attractive men treat their partners any worse than attractive men. However, we have to bring a person’s ego to the argument. There is a chance that when a less attractive partner does you wrong, you take is more personally because you feel that you are the more attractive partner in the relationship and you felt you gave your partner a chance to be with you even though they are less attractive than you. When the less attractive partner violates your expectations as the less attractive partner you take it personally because you may have an expectation of a more attractive partner’s potential to do you wrong but it may come from out of left field that the less attractive partner does you wrong because you don’t expect them to have much a good chance elsewhere in the dating world.
Thoughts?
I think they kind of touched on that.
It's a little bit of a strange concept to me, on the face of it. I don't really understand why a woman would agree to date someone she wasn't attracted to. If she's not physically attracted to him...surely SOMETHING attracts her...be it his money, his status, his fame...implied security...I mean SOMETHING drew her to him...right? Do women typically take on charity cases?
I'm just trying to think this through...
Let's say I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. Men are worshipping the ground I walk on, and I'm quite used to that, and I expect it. BUT, I decide to give the ugly guy in the corner a chance, and go out with him. But, why would I do that? If I can snap my fingers and have anyone I want, why am I picking the ugly guy? I guess I don't get the idea of the beautiful woman getting insulted because the ugly guy wasn't nice to her.
I'm not trying to be argumentative...just not really getting this.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,758,476 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by SnazzyB
I think they kind of touched on that.
It's a little bit of a strange concept to me, on the face of it. I don't really understand why a woman would agree to date someone she wasn't attracted to. If she's not physically attracted to him...surely SOMETHING attracts her...be it his money, his status, his fame...implied security...I mean SOMETHING drew her to him...right? Do women typically take on charity cases?
I'm just trying to think this through...
Let's say I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. Men are worshipping the ground I walk on, and I'm quite used to that, and I expect it. BUT, I decide to give the ugly guy in the corner a chance, and go out with him. But, why would I do that? If I can snap my fingers and have anyone I want, why am I picking the ugly guy? I guess I don't get the idea of the beautiful woman getting insulted because the ugly guy wasn't nice to her.
I'm not trying to be argumentative...just not really getting this.
More often than not, it is not the beautiful woman giving the ugly guy a chance. It is average or slightly below average girl giving the ugly guy a chance.
More often than not, it is not the beautiful woman giving the ugly guy a chance. It is average or slightly below average girl giving the ugly guy a chance.
But...that's not what the video seems to be about. They're talking about beautiful women getting slammed by 'bad' and 'ugly' guys.
I didn't watch the video but if you're going to generalize, I think both men and women would say that the generalization is that ugly men (and women) would be nicer than beautiful men (and women).
I took from it that maybe there are some gorgeous girls out there who (according the video) feel like ugly guys should be more appreciative of the fact that they're dating good looking women, and women are like "Ugh. Why did I even bother." Like...she thought she was performing some kind of charity by dating the ugly guy.
I'm not watching the video. Sounds like a bunch of tommy rot to me.
More click bait. Resist, good people!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
