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It's been roughly a full year since my last break up. Long story short, it was an extremely ugly break up and I was a bit of a mess for a long time afterwards. I've spent the past year just coping and trying to move on, but also learning to genuinely enjoy the single life, which is what I've been doing.
I'm at a point where I feel like I might be ready to jump back into dating, but I have this weird nagging feeling telling me not to for some reason. It's like there's one voice in my head telling me that I miss the warmth and companionship that comes with a relationship (and the sex, of course) but then there's another voice telling me to enjoy the single life for as long as possible since I my me-time will be fleeting once I get back into dating and potentially considering things like going steady, marriage, and even kids.
Is this normal? I have a few girls in my life whom I've been considering asking out, but everytime I amp myself up to do so, that one nagging voice tells me to just enjoy my time as a bachelor and to do worry about certain commitments that come with a relationship. I'm going back and forth on this and I could use some advice on how I'm feeling and what to do.
If you are not ready, then don't date. It is absolutely OK to be single and enjoy it!
Well, that's the thing. I keep telling myself that I'm ready to date and that I genuinely want to start looking around for a new relationship, but then it seems like I psych myself out by worrying out things like cheating, keeping her satisfied, not having any time for myself, etc.
Well, that's the thing. I keep telling myself that I'm ready to date and that I genuinely want to start looking around for a new relationship, but then it seems like I psych myself out by worrying out things like cheating, keeping her satisfied, not having any time for myself, etc.
Sounds like your last GF really did a number on you, but for what it's worth, here's what I think...
Just take it one step at a time.
1. If you meet a 'possible' person, ask her to something fairly 'non-datish' first. A cup of coffee. Did you enjoy getting to know her better? Did she intrigue you enough that you want to get to know her better? Then ask her out. If you were "eh", then at the end of the coffee, say "Well, I need to get going, it was nice to meet you" and you part ways.
2. If the first date goes well, and you had a nice time than invite her out for the next time. I bolded what I bolded, because sometimes it seems like people forget to have a good time. If you're NOT having a good time, then don't continue.
3. It seems like, to me, that when enough "I'm having a good time, and I like this lady" happen, there comes a point where you think "I want a relationship with this person. I want to talk to her about exclusivity."
At any point, up to marriage, if it stops being 'good', than you stop. If you get red flags...then you stop.
Well, that's the thing. I keep telling myself that I'm ready to date and that I genuinely want to start looking around for a new relationship, but then it seems like I psych myself out by worrying out things like cheating, keeping her satisfied, not having any time for myself, etc.
Then you are not ready. Just because you tell yourself doesn't mean you really are ready.
It's been roughly a full year since my last break up. Long story short, it was an extremely ugly break up and I was a bit of a mess for a long time afterwards. I've spent the past year just coping and trying to move on, but also learning to genuinely enjoy the single life, which is what I've been doing.
I'm at a point where I feel like I might be ready to jump back into dating, but I have this weird nagging feeling telling me not to for some reason. It's like there's one voice in my head telling me that I miss the warmth and companionship that comes with a relationship (and the sex, of course) but then there's another voice telling me to enjoy the single life for as long as possible since I my me-time will be fleeting once I get back into dating and potentially considering things like going steady, marriage, and even kids.
Is this normal? I have a few girls in my life whom I've been considering asking out, but everytime I amp myself up to do so, that one nagging voice tells me to just enjoy my time as a bachelor and to do worry about certain commitments that come with a relationship. I'm going back and forth on this and I could use some advice on how I'm feeling and what to do.
That voice in your head is a warning you. Beware. I'm not saying don't do it I'm just saying be careful. How long ago was the last time you dated?
It's been a hot minute since my last first date with someone that I barely know. We're talking Fall 2019 with my ex from my most recent break up.
Okay so in the climate hasn't changed a lot but I imagine it has changed. I don't mean this to sound insulting but it's probably going to look up what consent means because it seems to change all the time.
Also think about what you want out of this dating experiences are you just looking to scratch an itch do you want to find a forever person or what?
Okay so in the climate hasn't changed a lot but I imagine it has changed. I don't mean this to sound insulting but it's probably going to look up what consent means because it seems to change all the time.
Also think about what you want out of this dating experiences are you just looking to scratch an itch do you want to find a forever person or what?
I'm at a point in life where I feel as if I want to start looking for long-term at least. Maybe marriage, but at least something real and long-lasting.
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