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As far as the woman in question, just move on from her. Obviously since you work together you need to remain professional with work-related communications, but don't obsess over her or what happened.
Not a good idea o date where you work and it doesn't matter how you feel about her, she is not interested in dating you. Stand up tall, ignore the gossip, and go and find another woman who actually wants to date you and doesn't thrive on so much drama. This one is not a good match for you.
I've noticed in the past few weeks she has been orbiting me, sitting close to me etc.*I have never pursued and i am always there to listen to her and give her advice on things, like any other good guy would do.
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Last weekend there was a company event where everybody got drunk
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I was a little drunk but otherwise okay to drive there.
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After blurting out i thought she was hot she said the same and asked "what do you want to do about it?"
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She said i was the 3rd guy at work she's had a thing for.
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I confessed my feelings for her, i ask her why she keeps going for the *******s and she should stop.
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We talk more and make out a few times, and I*also held her hand for a bit. I ask her what she thinks of me
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I just find it unfair that I was partially drunk and*also baked and she doesn't want to listen to my side of the story?
God that was the most cringeworthy description of a sloppy adolescent party encounter I think I have ever read on CD.
OP, any plans to grow up and graduate from frat boy life?
For now, do society a favor and stop attempting to drive your vehicle when you are drunk and "baked." Good god, child, what is wrong with you?
I've*had*feelings for a coworker of mine for a few months. I am 29, she is 26. We've had light flirting and she has always initiated texts/snaps. I've noticed in the past few weeks she has been orbiting me, sitting close to me etc.*I have never pursued and i am always there to listen to her and give her advice on things, like any other good guy would do. Last weekend there was a company event where everybody got drunk and afterwards i was invited to another coworker's place for drinks, there were about 5-7 people here, some roommates and some other coworkers. I was a little drunk but otherwise okay to drive there. I saw her by herself on her phone and i went up and talked to her. After blurting out i thought she was hot she said the same and asked "what do you want to do about it?". She then dragged me to another room and we sat and talked. She said she's known I've liked her this whole time and said i was the 3rd guy at work she's had a thing for. She also admitted she thinks I'm hot when we're playing coed hockey together.* She also said another coworker messaged her about a month ago asking what she thought of me, to which she said something i can't remember. At this point I didn't think too much of her being drunk, because she talked in a civil manner. I confessed my feelings for her, i ask her why she keeps going for the *******s and she should stop. she tells*me her life is a mess and she really doesn't deserve anything. After this we take some hits from a bong with weed in it, and i am totally baked. I start hugging everyone and following her around the house.*We talk more and make out a few times, and I*also held her hand for a bit. I ask her what she thinks of me and she says i'm a funny guy, "but you're my coworker" and "what if our boss finds out". I also remembered*some of the other people in the house came and checked up on us. After this she kind of pushes me away and says we should just be friends. She blacks out and spends the night, so I leave and am okay to drive home.*
The next few days are awkward, she ignores me and i am sensing a bad vibe. I ask the other coworker that was there that night and she says i was trying to take advantage of her being drunk when i "wasn't". I tell her I was drunk but I*didn't even do anything, just talked for the most part. the next day i tried apologizing for my behaviour to the girl i liked and she says "there's nothing to talk*about? it's all swept under a rug*lol*i'm not mad i don't even remember anything but i was told "things" and honestly just pretend nothing happened and move on". I try to make small talk at work and she brushes me off.*
What exactly happened here? Did she have feelings but decided against it? Did she really not remember anything? Did the other coworker spread a rumor to her that I assaulted her? I just find it unfair that I was partially drunk and*also baked and she doesn't want to listen to my side of the story?*This really sucks because I really liked her and miss talking to her. I feel like this will never go back to normal like before.*
One thing I also noticed is the coworker that accused me has*been trying to set her up with her boyfriend's brother (who was also there). But she has told me she isn't into him. Could there have been an ulterior motive to make me look bad to her?
What happened was you got over flirty with a co-worker, which would NOT happen at work, but did happen because you were both at a drinking party and let your professional guard down.
At some other party without co-workers go ahead and get loose if you want. Get extra friendly with people you don't work with.
She was right when she said "but you're my coworker". And being cold and aloof is going back to normal for a work relationship.
Do not tell co-workers they are "hot". Just because you are at a party and not at work doesn't matter. You'll be back at work soon enough and the damage can be irreversible. Professional behavior is always required at work and around co-workers, wherever that may be.
What jumped out at me was the amount of drinking and drugs that went on that night and the fact that you drove. You could have killed someone! You're 29 years old and acting like a teenager.
As for your co-worker, she's probably ashamed of how she acted that night and just wants to forget it and I strongly recommend you do the same.
She is sending clear signals that she doesn't want to be romantically involved with you-- it doesn't get more clear than her *telling* you so-- and also pretty clear signals that she's now a bit uncomfortable around you. Which should tell you: back off.
It also might behoove you to learn a bit more about social interaction, so you can both tell when other people want you to back off, and to know that means you should.
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Originally Posted by Kovalchoke
Stressed because I was accused by another coworker that was there that i "took advantage" of the girl while she was drunk and I "wasnt drunk". It's made me feel like I'm a bad guy now with how the girl in my post is treating me now: cold, aloof
So that was this coworker's opinion. Is it the opinion of this woman you like? Unless the other coworker decides to go to HR, then only the opinion of the one you like-- who was actually involved in the situation-- matters.
Agree with so many of the responses on here. Move on, leave her alone, be more responsible when you are out, don't drink and drive, ignore the gossip. Good stuff here, hope you listen.
Never hook up with current coworkers, for various and obvious reasons.
Back in 2014, I had this huge crush on a then current, married coworker. I got to know her more. She infatuated me more. It was just a carrot on a stick that I couldn't get. She moved from where we both previously lived to two hours away from my hometown. We slept together a few times.
Great in bed, just a horrible person all around. I can't imagine how bad it would have been had I been cheating on her husband with her in a relationship she already hated, in a location she hated.
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