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Lots of good advice on here. I suggest strongly that you take it.
Your Original post is almost a perfect example of why you should avoid and steer clear of workplace romances.
You didn't 'hook up', she is obviously not interested in a workplace romance or one with you, just except it and move on. Things are awkward enough, and nothing really even happened. Don't make it worse.
I've*had*feelings for a coworker of mine for a few months. I am 29, she is 26. We've had light flirting and she has always initiated texts/snaps. I've noticed in the past few weeks she has been orbiting me, sitting close to me etc.*I have never pursued and i am always there to listen to her and give her advice on things, like any other good guy would do. Last weekend there was a company event where everybody got drunk and afterwards i was invited to another coworker's place for drinks, there were about 5-7 people here, some roommates and some other coworkers. I was a little drunk but otherwise okay to drive there. I saw her by herself on her phone and i went up and talked to her. After blurting out i thought she was hot she said the same and asked "what do you want to do about it?". She then dragged me to another room and we sat and talked. She said she's known I've liked her this whole time and said i was the 3rd guy at work she's had a thing for. She also admitted she thinks I'm hot when we're playing coed hockey together.* She also said another coworker messaged her about a month ago asking what she thought of me, to which she said something i can't remember. At this point I didn't think too much of her being drunk, because she talked in a civil manner. I confessed my feelings for her, i ask her why she keeps going for the *******s and she should stop. she tells*me her life is a mess and she really doesn't deserve anything. After this we take some hits from a bong with weed in it, and i am totally baked. I start hugging everyone and following her around the house.*We talk more and make out a few times, and I*also held her hand for a bit. I ask her what she thinks of me and she says i'm a funny guy, "but you're my coworker" and "what if our boss finds out". I also remembered*some of the other people in the house came and checked up on us. After this she kind of pushes me away and says we should just be friends. She blacks out and spends the night, so I leave and am okay to drive home.*
The next few days are awkward, she ignores me and i am sensing a bad vibe. I ask the other coworker that was there that night and she says i was trying to take advantage of her being drunk when i "wasn't". I tell her I was drunk but I*didn't even do anything, just talked for the most part. the next day i tried apologizing for my behaviour to the girl i liked and she says "there's nothing to talk*about? it's all swept under a rug*lol*i'm not mad i don't even remember anything but i was told "things" and honestly just pretend nothing happened and move on". I try to make small talk at work and she brushes me off.*
What exactly happened here? Did she have feelings but decided against it? Did she really not remember anything? Did the other coworker spread a rumor to her that I assaulted her? I just find it unfair that I was partially drunk and*also baked and she doesn't want to listen to my side of the story?*This really sucks because I really liked her and miss talking to her. I feel like this will never go back to normal like before.*
One thing I also noticed is the coworker that accused me has*been trying to set her up with her boyfriend's brother (who was also there). But she has told me she isn't into him. Could there have been an ulterior motive to make me look bad to her?
Do yourself a favor and stay away from that mess. You deserve better and honestly, I find her quite dangerous. You could get in major trouble at work because of her rumors and accusations. You don't want to end up getting fired over that girl.
Do yourself a favor and stay away from that mess. You deserve better and honestly, I find her quite dangerous. You could get in major trouble at work because of her rumors and accusations. You don't want to end up getting fired over that girl.
Yeah I get it, stay away, but I don't know why or how this became such a big deal to the point where she hates me. Nothing even happened
Yeah I get it, stay away, but I don't know why or how this became such a big deal to the point where she hates me. Nothing even happened
When you told other people this story in real life, did you say that you "hooked up" with her? If you've used that term, others will get the wrong impression...especially if nothing happened.
I've*had*feelings for a coworker of mine for a few months. I am 29, she is 26. We've had light flirting and she has always initiated texts/snaps. I've noticed in the past few weeks she has been orbiting me, sitting close to me etc.*I have never pursued and i am always there to listen to her and give her advice on things, like any other good guy would do. Last weekend there was a company event where everybody got drunk and afterwards i was invited to another coworker's place for drinks, there were about 5-7 people here, some roommates and some other coworkers. I was a little drunk but otherwise okay to drive there. I saw her by herself on her phone and i went up and talked to her. After blurting out i thought she was hot she said the same and asked "what do you want to do about it?". She then dragged me to another room and we sat and talked. She said she's known I've liked her this whole time and said i was the 3rd guy at work she's had a thing for. She also admitted she thinks I'm hot when we're playing coed hockey together.* She also said another coworker messaged her about a month ago asking what she thought of me, to which she said something i can't remember. At this point I didn't think too much of her being drunk, because she talked in a civil manner. I confessed my feelings for her, i ask her why she keeps going for the *******s and she should stop. she tells*me her life is a mess and she really doesn't deserve anything. After this we take some hits from a bong with weed in it, and i am totally baked. I start hugging everyone and following her around the house.*We talk more and make out a few times, and I*also held her hand for a bit. I ask her what she thinks of me and she says i'm a funny guy, "but you're my coworker" and "what if our boss finds out". I also remembered*some of the other people in the house came and checked up on us. After this she kind of pushes me away and says we should just be friends. She blacks out and spends the night, so I leave and am okay to drive home.*
The next few days are awkward, she ignores me and i am sensing a bad vibe. I ask the other coworker that was there that night and she says i was trying to take advantage of her being drunk when i "wasn't". I tell her I was drunk but I*didn't even do anything, just talked for the most part. the next day i tried apologizing for my behaviour to the girl i liked and she says "there's nothing to talk*about? it's all swept under a rug*lol*i'm not mad i don't even remember anything but i was told "things" and honestly just pretend nothing happened and move on". I try to make small talk at work and she brushes me off.*
What exactly happened here? Did she have feelings but decided against it? Did she really not remember anything? Did the other coworker spread a rumor to her that I assaulted her? I just find it unfair that I was partially drunk and*also baked and she doesn't want to listen to my side of the story?*This really sucks because I really liked her and miss talking to her. I feel like this will never go back to normal like before.*
One thing I also noticed is the coworker that accused me has*been trying to set her up with her boyfriend's brother (who was also there). But she has told me she isn't into him. Could there have been an ulterior motive to make me look bad to her?
Dating or hooking up with co workers is always a bad idea. I'd let her go and forget it ever happened. Them waters are too muddy now.
When you told other people this story in real life, did you say that you "hooked up" with her? If you've used that term, others will get the wrong impression...especially if nothing happened.
good point.
My ex was military and they went on deployment with the ship. 3 guys raped a girl on the ship. It was a huge deal, everyone despised the 3 guys and let them have it pretty much. In the end it turned out that they had a happy threesome and afterwards she was ashamed and then called it rape. You can imagine the poor boys, their reputation, the whole mess ... it was horrible.
My ex was military and they went on deployment with the ship. 3 guys raped a girl on the ship. It was a huge deal, everyone despised the 3 guys and let them have it pretty much. In the end it turned out that they had a happy threesome and afterwards she was ashamed and then called it rape. You can imagine the poor boys, their reputation, the whole mess ... it was horrible.
Well to be fair, three guys getting it on together would probably be enough to ruin their reputations in the military.
I've*had*feelings for a coworker of mine for a few months. I am 29, she is 26. We've had light flirting and she has always initiated texts/snaps. I've noticed in the past few weeks she has been orbiting me, sitting close to me etc.*I have never pursued and i am always there to listen to her and give her advice on things, like any other good guy would do. Last weekend there was a company event where everybody got drunk and afterwards i was invited to another coworker's place for drinks, there were about 5-7 people here, some roommates and some other coworkers. I was a little drunk but otherwise okay to drive there. I saw her by herself on her phone and i went up and talked to her. After blurting out i thought she was hot she said the same and asked "what do you want to do about it?". She then dragged me to another room and we sat and talked. She said she's known I've liked her this whole time and said i was the 3rd guy at work she's had a thing for. She also admitted she thinks I'm hot when we're playing coed hockey together.* She also said another coworker messaged her about a month ago asking what she thought of me, to which she said something i can't remember. At this point I didn't think too much of her being drunk, because she talked in a civil manner. I confessed my feelings for her, i ask her why she keeps going for the *******s and she should stop. she tells*me her life is a mess and she really doesn't deserve anything. After this we take some hits from a bong with weed in it, and i am totally baked. I start hugging everyone and following her around the house.*We talk more and make out a few times, and I*also held her hand for a bit. I ask her what she thinks of me and she says i'm a funny guy, "but you're my coworker" and "what if our boss finds out". I also remembered*some of the other people in the house came and checked up on us. After this she kind of pushes me away and says we should just be friends. She blacks out and spends the night, so I leave and am okay to drive home.*
The next few days are awkward, she ignores me and i am sensing a bad vibe. I ask the other coworker that was there that night and she says i was trying to take advantage of her being drunk when i "wasn't". I tell her I was drunk but I*didn't even do anything, just talked for the most part. the next day i tried apologizing for my behaviour to the girl i liked and she says "there's nothing to talk*about? it's all swept under a rug*lol*i'm not mad i don't even remember anything but i was told "things" and honestly just pretend nothing happened and move on". I try to make small talk at work and she brushes me off.*
What exactly happened here? Did she have feelings but decided against it? Did she really not remember anything? Did the other coworker spread a rumor to her that I assaulted her? I just find it unfair that I was partially drunk and*also baked and she doesn't want to listen to my side of the story?*This really sucks because I really liked her and miss talking to her. I feel like this will never go back to normal like before.*
One thing I also noticed is the coworker that accused me has*been trying to set her up with her boyfriend's brother (who was also there). But she has told me she isn't into him. Could there have been an ulterior motive to make me look bad to her?
Why would you want to be with a girl that drinks so much she blacks out and has no memory of what happened? You said you were "drunk" but fine to drive ? Nobody is fine to drive drunk. Drinking to the point of being inebriated is extremely dangerous, and who knows who all this girl has been with and if she is carrying HIV or other sexual diseases. Gross.
I wonder the age of the OP and partiers. It seems like a pretty young crowd, ie High School!!
You have 2 options:
- Hook up with her again. Get fired then collect unemployment. If you lack character or a moral compass, then chose this option
- Or be an adult and try not to ever mix work and pleasure. That is trouble waiting to happen.
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