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I have to agree with the one poster who said people are being super judgy on here. Yep, they are. This woman was pretty hurt. No matter what people think that a month-long relationship isn't a commitment, the guy seemed to be leading her on towards thinking it was developing into a relationship--maybe that's why she accused him of lying. It sounds like he led her on. And yes, she got unhinged and said some things to him that weren't great but he isn't lily white here either and he deserved to be blasted. Maybe next time he won't be so quick to sleep with someone if he "doesn't want to date" and is "preoccupied with work." What a big crock of crap.
I especially disagree with the person who said, "You'll be lucky if he doesn't block you after you went off on him." Really? You seem to be ignoring HIS role in it, which was blowing her off via text message--so uncool and no guts.
OP, I had a similar situation happen to me. I was seeing someone for 2 months and stayed with him one weekend and he seemed to do a 360 degree turn on me and was basically ignoring me all weekend and I went off on him. I left and he stopped texting me after that. I did send him an apology via email and he replied in a long nothingburger mail giving me no honest explanation for why he did the 360 degree turn on me. Sure, I was wrong for blasting him but I truly think he was being passive aggressive in the situation and inciting my anger so that he could end the relationship using my tirade as the excuse rather than manning up and telling me the truth.
So I feel this guy was not manning up from the very start and putting his true self out there to you. He was hiding behind some facade of being Mr. Nice Guy cuddling, watching TV and cooking together then he pulls the plug on TEXT??? What a big jerk. I hope you don't have secret hopes of seeing this guy again.
Completely agree. Who among us has not lost their temper, especially in a situation like this? Too many women have had this happen with entitled, selfish men. Yes, there are some women who do this too, but that's not what we are discussing here. I do believe that this happens to women far more frequently than to men. If men think otherwise, and if men don't like women who speak up for themselves, too bad so sad. Sorry not sorry.
I have to agree with the one poster who said people are being super judgy on here. Yep, they are. This woman was pretty hurt. No matter what people think that a month-long relationship isn't a commitment, the guy seemed to be leading her on towards thinking it was developing into a relationship--maybe that's why she accused him of lying. It sounds like he led her on. And yes, she got unhinged and said some things to him that weren't great but he isn't lily white here either and he deserved to be blasted. Maybe next time he won't be so quick to sleep with someone if he "doesn't want to date" and is "preoccupied with work." What a big crock of crap.
I especially disagree with the person who said, "You'll be lucky if he doesn't block you after you went off on him." Really? You seem to be ignoring HIS role in it, which was blowing her off via text message--so uncool and no guts.
OP, I had a similar situation happen to me. I was seeing someone for 2 months and stayed with him one weekend and he seemed to do a 360 degree turn on me and was basically ignoring me all weekend and I went off on him. I left and he stopped texting me after that. I did send him an apology via email and he replied in a long nothingburger mail giving me no honest explanation for why he did the 360 degree turn on me. Sure, I was wrong for blasting him but I truly think he was being passive aggressive in the situation and inciting my anger so that he could end the relationship using my tirade as the excuse rather than manning up and telling me the truth.
So I feel this guy was not manning up from the very start and putting his true self out there to you. He was hiding behind some facade of being Mr. Nice Guy cuddling, watching TV and cooking together then he pulls the plug on TEXT??? What a big jerk. I hope you don't have secret hopes of seeing this guy again.
He could have told me in person that he didn't want to date (he did tell me once that he was really busy and focused on work but he still let me come over) We did talk on the phone yesterday because I called him after being in an accident. I'm going to his place this weekend to pick up my stuff I left over there. Yeah, it seemed like he wanted a relationship based on the things he was doing with me. He should have told me he only wanted sex from the beginning and it would have been fine. I would have been ok with being friends with benefits. I like talking to him it gives me comfort. I wish we could have been friends.
Good luck picking up your stuff. It would be nice if he offered some kind of apology too. He had a part in leading you on to some extent and should own that.
He could have told me in person that he didn't want to date (he did tell me once that he was really busy and focused on work but he still let me come over) We did talk on the phone yesterday because I called him after being in an accident. I'm going to his place this weekend to pick up my stuff I left over there. Yeah, it seemed like he wanted a relationship based on the things he was doing with me. He should have told me he only wanted sex from the beginning and it would have been fine. I would have been ok with being friends with benefits. I like talking to him it gives me comfort. I wish we could have been friends.
He thought you were OK with friends with benefits. You even said you were OK with friends with benefits. But then you said that he should have told you that he only wanted sex. There was a disconnect in your heart and mind.
Somewhere along the line, you two didn't communicate and I do believe you were also conflicted about what you wanted. You say you were OK with friends with benefits. That means he isn't dating you, you get together for sex. I think he was phasing you out because he sensed that you were starting to want something different/a lot more. Both of you didn't communicate timely or effectively.
I also don't understand why, if you feel comfort talking to him that you two can't be friends. Maybe in time you will. My experience, though, is that once one has sex with a friend the friendship is never the same. I tried it a couple times in my youth very long ago and it did not work out as a platonic friendship either time. Things becomes awkward. Sometimes they tell their significant other or wife, and then if you are around them in public or at an event, the wife is unhappy. In my experience, guys are too forthcoming about things like this (telling who they've had sex with), so beware in the future. One guy used me as a way to make his future wife jealous. That was not fair to me. So again, beware.
He thought you were OK with friends with benefits. You even said you were OK with friends with benefits. But then you said that he should have told you that he only wanted sex. There was a disconnect in your heart and mind.
Somewhere along the line, you two didn't communicate and I do believe you were also conflicted about what you wanted. You say you were OK with friends with benefits. That means he isn't dating you, you get together for sex. I think he was phasing you out because he sensed that you were starting to want something different/a lot more. Both of you didn't communicate timely or effectively.
I also don't understand why, if you feel comfort talking to him that you two can't be friends. Maybe in time you will. My experience, though, is that once one has sex with a friend the friendship is never the same. I tried it a couple times in my youth very long ago and it did not work out as a platonic friendship either time. Things becomes awkward. Sometimes they tell their significant other or wife, and then if you are around them in public or at an event, the wife is unhappy. In my experience, guys are too forthcoming about things like this (telling who they've had sex with), so beware in the future. One guy used me as a way to make his future wife jealous. That was not fair to me. So again, beware.
Yes, I'm ok with friends with benefits (I've actually done it with a guy long-distance) when it's actually discussed. Not when the guy is acting as if he wants a relationship. He was telling me things like forget about other men. What was I supposed to think? He didn't communicate that he only wanted friends with benefits. When he said he liked my company that's when he should have said I just want to be friends with benefits and I would have said ok.
Well, my original assessment of the situation was correct, along with a few others on this thread. Most men will say anything to continue the easy nookie. Then callously behave and wonder why a woman loses their temper. I just don't understand why you want a friendship with this person.
He should have returned your things without being asked.
I called him yesterday we talked I apologized to him and he asked me to come over.
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