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Early on I tried to transfer to a different job internally but the policy is that you have to inform your supervisor beforehand. Each transfer or new opportunity I have attempted, he has blocked by not approving it. For example, there was a position available and I sent him an email expressing my interest in it explaining how it would provide better growth opportunities and how I would be open to training the new replacement. He said by email that he understands and would put in a good word. So I applied for the job but he never went into the ERP system and accepted it. I contacted HR and they said that I would need to have my boss and the other manager approve it. My boss kept saying that he has not seen anything come through. By the time they finally approved it in the system, the other position had already had an applicant pool so I was not selected. Later the other manager, (I believe they work together on this) told me that his boss said not to approve the transfer. He said it jokingly. This was early on before the other stuff started happening.
If it's professional Arts/Entertainment there will be lots of words and very little action, unless it's against you. Both are still very male dominated, fairly or un. It's one of the reasons I am no longer part of that world.
If your boss is as influential as you say, you will be the one most hurt by reporting his behavior. There's no changing this guy and HR can only do so much. He's likely to become angry at anything they might say or do on your behalf and take it out on you.
You've already found out he betrayed you and then lied about it.
I wouldn't call him out on his behavior or gossip with other employees about him. Maintain your dignity and do your best while you polish your resume and look for another job. Keeping that to yourself of course.
Work relationships are like any relationship, they're a match or they're not. This is not a fit sadly. But it's Life and Life seems to want to keep us in our toes.
If it's professional Arts/Entertainment there will be lots of words and very little action, unless it's against you. Both are still very male dominated, fairly or un. It's one of the reasons I am no longer part of that world.
If your boss is as influential as you say, you will be the one most hurt by reporting his behavior. There's no changing this guy and HR can only do so much. He's likely to become angry at anything they might say or do on your behalf and take it out on you.
You've already found out he betrayed you and then lied about it.
I wouldn't call him out on his behavior or gossip with other employees about him. Maintain your dignity and do your best while you polish your resume and look for another job. Keeping that to yourself of course.
Work relationships are like any relationship, they're a match or they're not. This is not a fit sadly. But it's Life and Life seems to want to keep us in our toes.
Good luck.
I wonder, if your future employer asks why you left, would you necessarily have to say you were sexually harassed by your previous employer?
I wonder, if your future employer asks why you left, would you necessarily have to say you were sexually harassed by your previous employer?
The whole subject is such a powder keg I wouldn't state that as a reason. There's no proof anyway and it makes the person sound like a trouble maker.
Giving a professional reason for a job change is always better. Wanting to advance career, take it to the next level, wanting to work for this particular company, etc.
Mentioning problems in a former job and quitting for that reason raises red flags to the interviewer.
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The way sexual harassment law works, the "victim" must inform the person that whatever they are doing makes them uncomfortable and ask them to stop. That could include standing too close to you or flirting in any way. Then if he does it again you have a valid case for reporting to HR. Note the date and time that you asked him to stop. Hopefully there have been witnesses or others that have had the same problem and will come forward, because he will of course deny it. We actually had a Departmental director fired for this.
The way sexual harassment law works, the "victim" must inform the person that whatever they are doing makes them uncomfortable and ask them to stop. That could include standing too close to you or flirting in any way. Then if he does it again you have a valid case for reporting to HR. Note the date and time that you asked him to stop. Hopefully there have been witnesses or others that have had the same problem and will come forward, because he will of course deny it. We actually had a Departmental director fired for this.
Yeah, not sure why anyone would suggest not doing anything, and go find work elsewhere...as HR can and will fire someone over this.
Where I work, you have to report it now..not later...and this rule applies to certain things even outside of sexual harassment.
Document every instance, get witnesses, get legal advice. He blocked your transfer and career development, created a harassing hostile environment for you and co workers. He really should be fired. But you need to get help from professionals on what to do.
There's an important point here, OP. You may not be able to imagine speaking up to him, but the thing is--he's counting on that! He's counting on you being too meek or embarrassed to say anything. He's taking advantage of your subordinate status to him, to get his thrills and see how far he can go.
Now, if you do speak up to him, and he gets retaliatory in some way, or suddenly stops giving you assignments and tries to marginalize you, or you get a lukewarm or worse performance review when that time comes, you'll have to go to HR.
Your employer may have an ombudsman for employee sexual harassment you could counsel with. Some employers do have such a designated person. This is different from going to HR. The ombudsman (often a woman) can advise you, and would keep a record of the issue, but wouldn't report it to anyone. All this does is start a paper trail (important if you do later have to open a case w/HR), and gets you some good advice. You may be told you need to speak up to your super and draw a line.
THIS! Your HR isn't your only option. It is often the next step after taking it up directly with the abuser. It also starts a documentation trail and puts the employer on notice that there's a problem. A bunch of he-said-she-said/speculations from the past won't carry much weight so stop adding to them. Stop trying to describe, dismiss, downplay, excuse, analyze, or rationalize what you think he's doing. Do something tangible! Did you even check out the link I offered? Grow a pair (figuratively) and deal with this before it escalates any more. Or sit silent and suffer. IMHO bailing out and finding new positions every time you run into problems at your workplace won't teach you valuable coping skills, how to stand up for yourself, or toughen your hide. No one's going to take on this responsibility for you OP.
Last edited by Parnassia; 04-08-2023 at 06:58 PM..
Early on I tried to transfer to a different job internally but the policy is that you have to inform your supervisor beforehand. Each transfer or new opportunity I have attempted, he has blocked by not approving it. For example, there was a position available and I sent him an email expressing my interest in it explaining how it would provide better growth opportunities and how I would be open to training the new replacement. He said by email that he understands and would put in a good word. So I applied for the job but he never went into the ERP system and accepted it. I contacted HR and they said that I would need to have my boss and the other manager approve it. My boss kept saying that he has not seen anything come through. By the time they finally approved it in the system, the other position had already had an applicant pool so I was not selected. Later the other manager, (I believe they work together on this) told me that his boss said not to approve the transfer. He said it jokingly. This was early on before the other stuff started happening.
You're in a toxic situation. You need to start looking for jobs with other employers. This is creepy! You don't want to be around when he decides to escalate his behavior with you. And he will eventually, because he knows he has you trapped.
I realize it may sound like this post contradicts my earlier one, but I hadn't seen the bolded yet, earlier. I find this concerning. I'll be interested to see what the others here think.
If new hires in the OP's position keep quitting, it may cause higher-ups to start wondering what's wrong with her super. Advertising a vacancy and interviewing candidates is costly to the employer, especially if the same position has to be re-filled frequently.
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