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Since I'm an a confused sistuation right now, I won't let myself go until I found the right one. Maybe in the future. As I get older maybe, just maybe, I might let myself go get married by then, but never have kids.
My husband & I will be married 14 years in November. We have two children (9year old son and 3 year old daughter). When we married, we both looked GOOD! Neither of us had to worry about anything else (other than working and having fun). I remember being able to buy as much clothes, shoes, handbags, makeup, etc as I wanted to. He used to work out at the gym 6 days a week. Fast forward 14 years later..He has gained 50lbs and I have gained probably around 60lbs. I know, we both got busy, fat, lazy and content. BUT, I am about to change that. I would like to go back to looking (and feeling) good about myself. My kids are very well taken care of, why not me? Anyone else??
During my marriage to my son's father I gained about 40 lbs. Some before I had my son and some after. I got to the point where I was tired of feeling sluggish and not looking my best (sounds like you are at that point now). I joined the gym and weight watchers and lost all the weight. If I can do it, you can do it! Even if you don't, life is short, enjoy it.
Oh HELLS NO am I letting myself go. I'm about 10 lbs overweight but I work out around 4 hours per week and try to watch what I eat. I've been working at getting this off for months now, but hit a plateau after losing most of the baby weight and its just not budging. But I do try and I'm tight and toned, not jiggly and flabby, after weight lifting for the past 15 years. H will never gain any weight as his body is one of those slim types that can't put on any weight so no worries there.
I regularly get manicures and pedicures (which men probably could care less about anyway HAHA) and cover the grey hairs with highlights. I even had laser hair removal on my legs so I haven't shaved in MONTHS. That was the best thing I've ever done.
To the gentleman who noted that he's balding, that's OK and as you probably already know you can be hot with or without your hair. Its a fact of life and has nothing to do with letting oneself go. Lord help us if hair plugs become the norm..
I got to the point where I was tired of feeling sluggish and not looking my best
I think your description above says it all. Tired and feeling sluggish. I myself was feeling that way. I was thin - but NOT in shape. After starting to work out again, you don't feel tired or sluggish anymore. It's a wonderful feeling. Plus you get to play more actively with the kids when your not tired and sluggish. (And I'm sure you know this mlammons, in the bedroom too )
Quote:
Originally Posted by quelinda
To the gentleman who noted that he's balding, that's OK and as you probably already know you can be hot with or without your hair. Its a fact of life and has nothing to do with letting oneself go. Lord help us if hair plugs become the norm..
I am 30 lbs up since having kids, that isnt bad considering I was stick thin before having kids. Have I let myself go? No way, just because I do not weigh the same as in high school after having 6 kids that does not mean I have let anything go.
I'm still at my fighting weight of 165 pounds. My wife works out 3-4 times a week. But I've seen people who view the marriage ceremony as the finish line, not the beginning of a lifelong relationship. So suddenly, they put on a ton of weight and can't extract themselves from the LazyBoy.
No matter what some starry-eyed idealist might think (And, usually, these are people who have never had long, successful marriages), it is important to remain sexually attractive to your significant other. And if you don't respect yourself to do this, how do you expect your spouse to respect you either?
It's not like the spouse immediately loses interest when you gain 20 pounds. But over the years, I've heard it described as a slow erosion of desire because the spouse balloons up to near obesity, wears frumpy clothes, and would rather watch something on the TiVo or ESPN rather than enjoy a little Midnight Rodeo. Suddenly, one day, that cute administrative assistant or that good looking area sales manager at the office reminds you of what you ain't getting at home, and nature takes its course.
CPG, this is the best post of this thread. Wish I could give you more rep points. This post and your other post about waiting for someone who is 100lbs overweight to say "Physical attractiveness is not important..." had me laughing out loud.
Ive been married to my wife now for a few years and have my first child (now three months but wife also has a 13 year old). I will never ever ever ever "Let Myself Go". My physical fitness and health is much too important for me to let that happen. Im happy that my wife feels the same way I do. She's quite a bit more harsh when it comes to people who let themselves go for whatever reason. She cried her eyes out when she saw pictures of her cousin from back home (Moscow) who let herself go after years of marriage and having a daughter (now 17). Cousin was a former prima ballerina for one of the top Russian ballets. The mods wont let me post what my wife actually said, but lets put it this way, once my wife had a talking with her she started working out has lost over 50lbs 60lbs (shes now about 135lbs).
My wife and I have an agreement that we will ALWAYS call the other person out on it if/when they start to get fat. We do this in a not very nice manner but it helps.
My husband & I will be married 14 years in November. We have two children (9year old son and 3 year old daughter). When we married, we both looked GOOD! Neither of us had to worry about anything else (other than working and having fun). I remember being able to buy as much clothes, shoes, handbags, makeup, etc as I wanted to. He used to work out at the gym 6 days a week. Fast forward 14 years later..He has gained 50lbs and I have gained probably around 60lbs. I know, we both got busy, fat, lazy and content. BUT, I am about to change that. I would like to go back to looking (and feeling) good about myself. My kids are very well taken care of, why not me? Anyone else??
I totally agree that you should take care of yourself just as much as you take care of your children. I train many women who have gone through the same thing you have, many women go through it and don't even have children. Sometimes when we get into relationships we get "fat and happy" once we realize that we have lost ourselves in the shuffle we realize that we need to get back to taking better care of ourselves.
I think you will do great, hire a personal trainer if you can budget it. It will definately give you that extra support that you will need to get started. Good Luck!
PS Also it's important to love and accept ourselves all along the way. I've seen many people look at their before pictures with disgust, don't do that, love your body and yourself as you transform back to a healthier you
I totally agree that you should take care of yourself just as much as you take care of your children.
I love that. This is one of the new motivating factors for the wife and I to make sure we keep up with taking care of our own health while caring for a baby. We both just really want to be around to see grandchildren someday.
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Neither of us had to worry about anything else (other than working and having fun). I remember being able to buy as much clothes, shoes, handbags, makeup, etc as I wanted to. He used to work out at the gym 6 days a week. Fast forward 14 years later..He has gained 50lbs and I have gained probably around 60lbs. I know, we both got busy, fat, lazy and content. BUT, I am about to change that. I would like to go back to looking (and feeling) good about myself. My kids are very well taken care of, why not me? Anyone else??
